-"Free Falling" by Tom Petty

I've had one of the strangest days ever. While driving home, I saw a guy standing on the corner waiting for the bus in what looked like an unusual suit and a hat of odd origin. My first thought was, "Ducky's back!" Oh, to swing the car around and ask the guy if he had ever seen Hiding Out and why of all the choices to make, it was to star with Charlie Sheen in 2 And A Half Men.

Okay, I'm guessing you have to brush up on your John Hughs's movies to understand the brilliance we once had in our lifetime thanks to a guy that actually got high school, unlike the crap that continues to drone out of Hollywood and makes our teenagers complete morons. But, hey, Ducky's back!

It wasn't just this moment that brought me back to wishing for that time where everything was such a mystery. Yeah, I was so curious as to what this term "college" was all about, why I was not allowed to have a mohawk, and just what was located between a girl's legs that seems to cause guys to drink heavily in hoping to touch it. Life was such a mystery but it's all solved. Damn, I want to know nothing!

Oh, I forgot to mention why I was instantly transported to little kid syndrome. The comic shop called my name and I was to pick up a book I had on hold. The owner was late so I just played around in the 25 cent bin of damaged but still readable comics. Lo and behold the issue I could never get as a kid, G.I.Joe #24!!!!

*Hedgehoggy does the Hamster Dance*

It's like I am finally getting all the things I missed as a kid! Hooray for Hedgehoggy! Now, if they'd just put Inspector Gadget on followed by a helping of Heathcliff And Friends, I'd be in heaven. Can you do the Thundercats song?

"Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats.......HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

We used to laugh when we did that song way back when because we always thought Lion-O was after a "woman of the night." Ya know.......a hooker? Geez, a guy with hair like a mad scientist just might want a little lovin' in the jungle since danger usually brings the need in a man to mount something to realease all that testosterone.

I sound like a total dork, right now, right? I'm so sorry but it's just that I try as hard as I can to refrain from living in this world, one run by a moron that can barely speak. People were debating about Kerry's trip on a boat in Vietnam when more should have been done to show Bush's friends' greed. Did you know that that movie about Enron is out? You really should see how Bush's buddy stole a lot of people's pensions.

Now, if you've got the TV Channel, Animal Planet, you'll know what I am talking about. Ever seen Miami Animal Police? You'll usually find that Miami has lots and lots of gators which do not scare me at all. I've seen 1 that I just stood next to while in Pensacola. Aligators get such a bad rap when it's crocodiles that are super vicious.

What I saw on Miami Animal Police disturbed me. 100's of puppies, kittens, and birds were severely malnurioushed or dehydrated. I'm not sure how the police investigators could control themselves because I would have personally broken these 2 animal sellers' bones. I love animals to the point that you can find all 195 pounds of muscle in me rolling around on the floor with my dogs.

Some of these animals died due to horrible care under these idiots. One little dachsund that was horribly underfed got pneumonia in his lungs but with weeks of work, little "Buddy" lived. Gawd, I was just passing this channel and had to see that the little guy made it and he even got adopted!

A part of me was in awe since I have a love of alligators. Yeah, we all know they eat meat, namely other animals, but I get all fascinated with them. The show had a guy rescue a caymon crocodile that had a fisherman's hook in it's left leg. People can run all they want from these kinds of animals but I can handle it. Impressive that one of the rescuers was a very cute girl.

So, girls, have you ever seen a guy run into a wall/car/or any object all because he was staring at someone? While walking out of Borders, a gorgeous blonde walking in while talking on a cell phone had every fucking guy stare at her. Some smacked into cars as they walked through the parking lot. Very amusing. I just hope none of the guys got boners while running into things. That would hurt really, really bad.

Me? I glanced but I find it rude to stare. Plus, this beautiful girl was blonde and I'm more into brunettes. It was her toned tummy that got my attention.

So, evil Wal-Mart has decided to keep my pictures from being developed til Sunday. Damn them since I am just getting a bit too antsy at wanting to see the pictures of the puppies I saw in Indiana. Those eyes that were barely open and the puppy breath can bring me back to Earth since a part of me does not want to live on it. Do I need to state why all over again?

Random:

-A foreign issue of FHM has 2 pages devoted to the different shapes of penises. I've figured out mine but the job is for you to figure out which type belongs to your boyfriend or which one you prefer. It's funny how I didn't realize this was such an issue since magazines tend to devote more to vaginas. I'm guessing that boys do have a hard time describing theirs on the first date.

"Well, it's kinda.....big with a...uh, head. Can I just pull this magazine out and show you which one I got?"

-Speaking of penises, the prosecution in the Michael Jackson Trial wanted to show pictures of Michael's. How many want to know what kind this dude has? I'm curious, seriously. Did his dick change color along with his face? Did the doctor do something to it while Michael was under during the many, many nose operations? That's just one of those things you don't want to know but actually do.

-My mom did not discuss assholes or balls today. The conversations were rather dull so nothing to report on that. Sorry.

-I have a hard time running on the treadmill when something on the TV in front of me makes me laugh. Someday, I will be typing with the treadmill belt's damage all over me thanks to Bill O' Reilly's latest attempt to make the world much stupider. I swear that as much as I get angry while seeing Bill, I also cannot help but laugh at how pathetic he is.

Well, I am outta here and hoping Sara makes it back safely from her trip tonight. If all goes well, I'll be curled up in her bed and a cat at my side purring. Thanks to it being summer, we no longer need clothes! Hooray for nudity and a girlfriend that loves to trim my pubes! Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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