Mom: "Well, child, I think he has converted himself to Islam and has a sudden attraction to donkeys and camels. Good lord, I don't know how a perfectly good white boy could do such a thing!"

Oh, man, it was one of those days where I came home from the gym in desperate need of the long hot bath I dreamt of all day. Here I was standing in the bathroom undressing (slowly....slowly...for the pervs and I know I gots lots of 'em!) when I caught the whiff of something that smells like onions. I sure as hell know I don't eat them so I've just gotta give a great big shout out to how stinky I was today!

We must all admit that if it gets to the point where you can smell yourself, and a really bad smell it is, then, you are fucked and should not be allowed outdoors. "Socially unacceptable" as the nuns from my old days in Catholic school would say. Even rodents wouldn't have spent time to break bread with me. Bastards, I sank that low!

Well, I am squeaky clean as of 7:15pm. The feeling of the sweet breeze outside while waiting for my dogs to make yard sausages felt so good after that long hot bath with a book to read.

Editor: "You are such a girly-man!"

Much of the day was spent in wonder to answer the question as to what 3 CDs I would take with me if they were the only ones allowed. Well, it has been solved but not to be revealed til tomorrow. Why? I want to just make sure on a few little things but the sight of 3 original members of The Breakfast Club at the MTV Movie Awards did allow for the movie's instrumental love theme to play around in my head.

Just where the fuck were Emelio Estevez and Judd Nelson!?! I'm sure they don't have anything better to do so what the fuck!?! Ally Sheedy's sending her hair into chaos was cute but only for those of us that saw that movie in which the scene takes place. Who knew dandruff could make a statement. My other gripe besides the missing actors was how Anthony Michael Hall no longer looks the geek he was back then, a bit on the bulky side, eh? Ally looked wow-wow-wow!

Yes, I know how much you hate The Breakfast Club, Sara, but I absolutely loved it and will stand by it no matter how much you yell out in Borders that it is awful. It was when I placed the Kama Sutra in your lovely hands (I even took a picture!) that you settled down a bit before heading off to see Revenge Of the Sith.

So, Indiana, anyone? Nice time but it was hard on Sara and I. She worked and worked while I was left alone in the apartment to tinker around. Yes, I was lonely as evidenced by 2 entries I did but there were fun times. "Where's The Friggin' Cat?" became a fun game to play with Sara's white cat named Lenore.

I'm guessing that Lenore was as lonely as I was since Sara's flatmate was also gone much of the time. This cat would follow me all over the place, stare at me, or even bite me to get my attention. What surprised me was that it was the second time Lenore slept on my back and then proceeded to move onto my butt.

Editor: "Chicks dig that ass or chest of yours Hedgie. These rank just above hair products and hair removal thingees according to the latest female needs poll."

Ah, but when Sara was there and I was able to get over my watery eyes thanks to being allergic to cats, we did have our own fun by practicing poses in the mirror before our shower. Yes, us pretty much naked, looked at possible ways to have our picture taken and shown on Diaryland. You'll finally get to see me half-naked with Sara's hands covering my chest like Janet Jackson did for the famous Rolling Stone pic. Would you like that!?! Huh? Yo, I hate my nipples but Sara's proud of my "treasure trail" hair being gone.

Things do happen in which Sara is hating her job while I deal with allergies. My breathing is tougher as her tendency to get mad easily comes out. I know it's not directed at me so I just let Sara release what she needs. Yes, it is amusing to watch her throw all the chess board pieces after I ended up taking her queen.

I've been through my share of relationships in which things happen in a ferocity that cause heated arguments. I'm now calm all because I'm just not someone that wants to release or in need of showing anger by throwing things. Oh, I've had my moments but at some point I just mellowed out. It could be my times spent in the gym in which I feel like my energy is released with heavy weights. It could also be the barbeque restaurant right next door to the gym that gets me desiring some ribs as I walk out of the gym since I love smells.

FYI: Remember that I am stinky and socially unacceptable so there will be no visiting fattening barbeque place. Good thing, too, since choosey Mike chooses Jif and a spoon.

Wondering downtown alone can be fun. I visted a diner and an old fashioned malt shop all while trying to find that luscious milk shake. Now, Steak N Shake may be great and all that but I want something with the right amount of sugar while topped by a cherry. I may have found that in the old fashioned malt shop! At $3, it was worth it.

I'm sure Sara will tell you that I am obsessed with cheeseburgers, vanilla shakes, and various other habits even I don't notice. Everybody's gotta have a thing that makes life a little less awful while a moron leads us into complete stupidity.

Well, Sara and I are doing fine as you would find her head on my chest before we fall asleep. The cat makes it a threesome when curled up at the foot of the bed. Lenore almost always comes in at the time sex happens so curious kitty needs a fix of live porn in some way. Could there be a possible hook-up for her since that male black cat neighbor seems to do his best to look sexy on the air conditioner?

Will Smith: "It's time to get fuzzy with it!"

I'd like to add that it was nice to see my diary being mentioned as a good read on another person's diary. She asked for a list of them and mine was mentioned! Holy shit am I that amusing!?! Gawd, Diaryland has been great since it helped me meet Sara and talk to various people from all over the world. Plus, Sammy emailed me today with pictures! All of this shows that there are people that actually think in such shitty times we live in.

Well, I've rambled on long enough. Just know that I spent much of downtown walking by various tourists. You can always tell them by their cameras as they push their wives and children along. Large frog statues bring out the male need to herd, I guess. I'm the doofus in spiked hair, large cargo shorts, and retro t-shirt in pursuit of a good milkshake. Loud sucking sounds are exhibited as the cherry goes down. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07