-"Into the Groove" by Madonna

Well, I must start off my nightly entry by telling y'all of the genius of Jon Stewart, a man that reminds me of my smugness issues: "Michael Jackson has learned his lesson. From now on there will be no cancer patients. You just can't trust them."

According to a U.S. poll, only a third of the population agrees with the verdict of Michael Jackson being not guilty. We can be sure that that percentage of people are out there in front of the Neverland Ranch (sans jobs, of course) to allow more doves to fly off (someone's been watching too many Prince videos!) or to drop off kids in hopes of being able to sue. This world is lovely, no?

Do I sound like I'm still pissed off with the verdict? Not entirely sure about that. As much as I want this justice system to work, a part of me agrees due to the credibility of the witnesses. Couldn't we get someone better than the grifters? The other part is this thing about Michael sleeping with boys. Any other dipshit would be in prison already dropping soap and moaning about a sore asshole. It's all relative.

As if my day was not extravagant enough thanks to the news channels wondering who the fuck that woman was that was releasing doves, my gym suddenly does not have water available from the drinking fountains due to a boil order. Good gravy, do you know how much I sweat while being surrounded by half-naked people!?! It's like a fat geeky kid not being allowed to play with his "light saber" even while it's in front of him after watching Britney Spears's 2 scenes in the movie, Crossroads.

*Wink wink*

I gave in after Kim tasted the water first. You know how it goes. Ladies first. Due to our impressive immune systems, Kim and I weren't overly worried that the water would suddenly turn us into mutants that can find Dick Cheney amusing and that he is fine upstanding gentleman.

The good news is that I may have gaydar. For once, I can pick mah little gay people out of the yonder over wherever they are when not watching Better Homes And Garden TV. I had a hunch to my issue that has now been confirmed by Gay Nick. Tom Cruise is gay.

There's just something off about Tom Cruise so I asked Gay Nick. No argument because it's just so obvious to us. There's that falseness that women seemed to eat up on Oprah. According to Tom, it's great to jump up and down on couches to profess your love of a woman that won't put out. The rich white woman eats it up like old people's need for religion and Viagra.

If you are as sharp eyed about little things as I am, you'd remember Mimi Rogers's interview in Playboy Magazine long ago. In it, she was asked why she divorced Tom. It all makes sense when Mimi admitted that they never really had sex much at all. She told how she needed her "fiddle tuned" but Tom never seemed interested. This is where y'all discuss it amongst yourselves. Gay Nick and I have come to our conclusions.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Now, I am a bit pissed off at Madonna. No, it's not the Kabbalah bullshit that preaches how being greedy is okay. This time, she talked about how she regrets all her past sex stuff n' being so open about it.

Okay, how many miss the old fun Madonna? Me, me, me! I've got 2 copies of the Madonna "Sex" book since it is obviously a collector's desire. 1 is opened since it came with a CD while the other is sealed shut and awaiting a time where it's quite a pretty penny. In no way would I say that Madonna was wrong for doing this book or even being so sexually open in the past.

We all know that I'd take Madonna's "Immaculate Collection" with me if only 3 CDs were available for such a thing. The music she put out back then along with her fun image was just so fascinating to me. Madonna showed it was okay to be sexual at that time when girls were made fun of as sluts. Hell, even gays were extremely open while surrounding her. Let's just say that Madonna has lost it with me thanks to those comments.

Plus, her music sucks now while she's trying to make more money off of children's books. Since when does being a celebrity give people a right to produce books while people that actually write have a hard time even finding a publisher?

Man, I remember making sure no one was around so I could blast up "Into the Groove," "Live To Tell," "Holiday," "True Blue," and the one that I hated but eventually loved........"Open Your Heart." I wanted to be that little boy in the video and hopefully cop a feel just to know what boobs felt like. Obviously, I was so young with a deep curiousity of the female anatomy.

I know what boobs feel like now, okay? I've now got a major love of sucking on nipples so if you hear a "giant sucking sound," that's me. Not Ross Perot, okay?

If you wish to know what I am reading, it's "The Washingtonienne" by Jessica Cutler. If you hate what goes on in Washington, this will only make you angrier in what goes on. Jessica was fired for putting up a blog on the Internet that talked of all her sexual exploits with senators and congressman all while telling how it really works. Sad but not because of the author. I'm actually hating Jessica and her materialism but it's far worse how senators don't care about us even more than I thought.

I'll get more into the book, "Washingtonienne," later on. It's juicy in some places but I do groan a bit on the author's complete stupidity at times. She sounds like an ungrateful little snot that thinks she deserves more even after such little work put in. Some 20something women sound like they are still in 3rd Grade.

Well, I'm outta here to confront a completely empty house due to my mother leaving to see her mother. 4 Yorkies and me thanks to Buffy going along (my grandma used to be Buffy's owner until the assisted living home) so I'll be all over the place running around with dogs. You'll find me scratching my butt in no time while mouthing "Into the Groove" to a confused Ellie-Mae. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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