*Answer at bottom*

So, I am back from my day of Yorkie wranglin' due to my mother being down south to visit her mother. If you think taking care of 4 spoiled dogs is easy, you'll have to get used to the fact that my mother treats them like children. All 4 were quite a handful of noisiness and constant neediness. Remind me never to have children.

Now, the 4 here (we have 5 but Buffy went south as well since she is my grandma's dog) have to be seperated. Ellie-Mae ("Hoss") and Jethro cannot be with Bonnie and Clyde due to some nasty feud started years back that they have never recovered from. Let's just say that "B" and "C" are the steroid version of a Yorkshire Terrier due to their amazing ability to leap higher than your average Yorkie along with the muscles clearly felt when 1 is picked up.

So, going back and forth with my attention so that not 1 dog is seen as feeling left out, I'll cater to the steroid bunch at one point while hanging with the other 2 that insist on barking at each and every little thing out our window. If you ever see a white male staring out the window while dogs bark, please, just keep walking. There is nothing to see but a man losing his dignity.

Ah, but TV watching is totally dope with my dogs. Once I was done with the gym, my spoiled duos were put through some quality time. Only this time, we didn't have any of Britney's favorite food groups, Cheetos and Fun Yuns washed down with a Yoo-Hoo. Nope, water and corn bread did just fine as dogs and I scoured the TV for entertainment of any sort.

Remind me never to have kids.

Tonight was so good for TV watching! Yo, we had Beauty And the Geek (Richard has, so, got to go), VH1's Top 100 Child Stars (Oh, I had a crush on Jo from The Facts Of Life and remember when Natalie was deflowered by "Snake" because it was a very special episode that dealt with a very serious subject, the penis entering the vagina. If this were real life, it would be oral first but.....maybe it's just from my experiences. I'd get all teary-eyed if Natalie talked about how she debated whether to spit or swallow.), and a very good Made (Scott the heavy metalhead that wanted to be popular). Maybe, I should just lay around with my dogs more often so I can catch up with those whose minds have been lost in the boob tube.

So, the new catch phrase is "If the kid can shit, you must acquit!" Poor Johnny Cochran is gonna want some of that fame from those leeching off his lines.

Not much with me as usual. It's still bodybuilding season so I will enter the locker room on occasion to find nearly naked guys posing in front of other guys. I'd choke on water if these guys were to present themselves as homophobic because what they do is hilarious.

Now, I'm not knocking bodybuilding. Some of my friends are in it and they do a very good job but it is absolutely amazing to watch guys with giant muscles touching each other. What they do is practice their posing on such things as "quarter turns" or a "massive pose" of some type. This is all done in as little clothing as possible to show every fucking muscle possible. It's all ruined when someone working out tends to make a massive smelly poopy, flushes, and then smiles as the bodybuilders in the locker room feel faint. That's my boy, yo.

Another thing I just have to point out is that bodybuilding makes penises look so much smaller, not that I'm looking or anything. It's just that with large shoulders and thick legs, there comes a point where THAT bodypart aint catching up with what is going on.

Somehow, I was going to do an entry about how great blowjobs are. Not sure why but I guess it's that Sara has returned my love of receiving them. Maybe next time when I'm up to it.

Oh, on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, Tom Cruise has a message for all you that hata's of his love for Katie Holmes (Please, run, Katie, run!). "Fuck 'em!" That's what Tom said to y'all so you know what you've gotta do, right? No one is going to see War Of the Worlds. Let's send Tom's stock way down. C'mon, who's with me on this?

Unfortunately, I suck. A part of me wants to see War Of the Worlds since I grew up with the story and I'm very curious about how they will take this into the present day. Damnit, Sara, keep me away.

According to my sources, Batman Begins is THE summer movie to see. The Bale is amazing as Bruce Wayne/Batman and even the enemies make a good impression. Oh, how I can't wait to see Batman train to become the Dark Knight and take back Gotham. We work out fiends/ninja lovers/Joker quoters love what this director has done. He made Batman Begins dark. No Bat-nipples or overly large cod pieces. Batman has no need to accentuate his dick.

I've forgotten to mention that there is now a book that has me in awe. When I first saw it, I thought "It's about time!" I have gone on and on about my love of it here on Diaryland so it is with great honor to mention that there is a large pink book dedicated to knowing everything about the vagina! Did you read that right? THE VAGINA! This country has always emphasized that penises rule but I digress. Pink is where it is at and what a lovely complicated little critter, the vagina, is.

I'm definitely tempted to get my hands on this book. How would that make you feel if you walked into a guy's apartment and on his coffee table or clearly seen was a pink book that contained every little thing about the vagina? Would you lust after him more? Would you pick it up and thumb through it with no embarassment? Would you tell him that you have a vagina and would like to show it? I just love cunts.

Definitely wanting to get my little butt to Indiana. When I'm feeling this good, my sex drive and creativity go way up. Both are on overdrive so I wasn't completely dumbed down from I.Q. points dropped while watching too much TV. Gonna have to prep my tongue, fingers, and voice for weird orgasming sounds. Da boy is on a roll!

So, I'm outta here after this mildly entertaining weirdness sprouted out of yours truly, a definite vagina worshipper and all around nice dude that laughs at bodybuilders that take themselves so seriously (even without the touching, it's funny). Should I talk of my love of receiving blowjobs or wonder if little Winnie of The Wonder Years would sit on the log with me? Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07