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| Joke: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? *Answer at bottom* Well, I am just plum pickled as to whether Calfornia wants to just up and leave our United States after hearing of another earthquake, shock, etc. Are y'all suffering so bad from your pathetic excuse of a governor that you don't want us to feel the pain? This coming from a state that once had Gary Coleman running alongside a porn star. Ron Jeremy, a guy that I find quite smart (He was a teacher that had a picture of his schlong sent into Playgirl and voila!) and the envy of ugly guys everywhere would be a wise choice but I'm talking out of my ass now. Oops. A part of me wants to watch Jay Leno, even if I cannot stand his interviews that are clearly choreographed and so lightweight, thanks to Lindsay Lohan being on. I've noticed that she's gotten much better in that less of her bones are showing but it's always fun to watch a train wreck, especially if they make way more money than they deserve. Can you believe that Disney digitally lowered the size of Lindsay's tits in that Herbie: Fully Loaded!?! Mammary glands get such a bad rap these days. Sometimes, I wish I had tits so I could cause car crashes due to frequent flashing. Don't get me started on what I could do with a thong if I was suddenly female for a day. I know the male mind so well that I can get a gay priest to convert to hetero in less than 3 seconds. Well, my day has been spent with the TV show, Family Ties's theme song playing in my head all day. The urge to just go up to someone with a bulging eyes and say, "What will we do, baby, with our love?" happens to come up as tempting. I'm not sure why I am being so demented today. The good mood better last long, folks. Roger Ebert and Gay Nick have advice for y'all. Batman Begins is so fucking good that you must see it. You'll be drawn into a very absorbing flick of the highest caliber thanks to a director that knows how to work with the Dark Knight. I should know since I've read so many Batman comics, books, etc. that just the previews alone warrant a major hard-on. The thing that surprised me was Roger Ebert's review. He gave it the highest amount of stars in such a long time and had a large amount of kind words for it all. I'm happy that they may put Batman's actual origin in place, unlike the first one where they had the Joker kill Bruce Wayne's parents. All nerds know that it was Joe Chill that did it and Batman confronted him years later. Of course, Gay Nick went on and on about The Bale, Christian Bale that is. When he walked in the gym, he came right up to my face and told me that Batman Begins was so impressive. Now, we've got Gay Nick wanting not only Hugh Jackman but also a very muscular Christian Bale. You should have seen Gay Nick stamp his feet in the theater at the smallest amount of Hugh Jackman's ass in Van Helsing. That makes me curious. I wonder what body parts get to Gay Nick. I know he loves ass but not much else. We'll see what turns on a gay guy like Gay Nick. Now, I cannot stand Jessica Simpson but her latest video might be the only form of praise she'll get from me. I found myself liking it. Very strange of me but I'm thinking it's the dancing, line dancing. Now, if you've ever seen line dancing, you'll think it looks easy. No, it is not. While at Scott's wedding, I tried to learn a bit of it but had a hard time and that was the easy shit. The line dancing in Jessica's video, "These Boots Were Made For Walking," was interestingly complicated. Do not ever think that my praise of Jessica Simpson's video means that I like her. Ugh, I'd rather listen to Fat Bastard fart while wearing a kilt. I just liked the video's line dancing even if Jessica does look quite nice. Dumb as rocks girls do not float my boat. Speaking of tickling the pickle, the latest workouts have me in a few of my own. The first is that I am now going back to high school in that zits are appearing here and there. Nothing bad but I thought my body was over that period of time. All that sweat I have to brush away after running on the treadmill for 7 minutes fast could fill a small soft drink. The other issue is that after I workout, I am so fucking starving for sex, hot filthy let's-go-fuck-all-over-the- Editor: Hedgehoggy's laughing right now. It's kind of funny since it's such a joke between us guys. We know our limitations and having sweaty balls is definitely one of them. Girls have their boobs go flying all over the place on the treadmill as clearly seen when guys start to stare. Good thing our balls aren't so easily visible because they, too, go flying. No bodybuilders practicing their poses, tonight. I was so not in the mood to encounter that. What ticked me off was when BB Nick and his boys coordinated the locker room for their use while we had to change around the practice session going on. If a bodybuilder gives you a hard time, the easiest way to give him hell is to hold his shorts open, look down, and say, "Too small." That is their big weakness, the inferiority of their penis size. Word. Well, just know that I am bored and so wanting to toss Sara onto the couch and sexually exhaust ourselves. That will be next week along with her birthday coming up. Yes, this boy did come up with gifts as all good boyfriends should do. The funny thing is that my birthday isn't too far off and comes at a very odd time, it's possible I will be in Atlanta with Sara and friends. More on that later, yo. California, I hope you got it out of your system, all those disgruntle issues, so I hope you stay with the good ol' U-S of A. Don't float out into the Pacific and leave us with the moron in charge. Goodnight. Answer: Keep looking. It's not hard. 0 Got Balls? |
- - 2009-07-07 Love Facebook - 2009-05-07 Retards Away! - 2009-02-16 Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28 My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07 |