-Four Weddings And A Funeral

Goodness gracious me! I've been searching high and low for something that brings out the friskiness of moi. I'm not the usual codger dodger of sorts in that I enjoy spice and all that life has to give, especially originality with wit. The word just struck me silly while walking in the bookstore.

Vagina.

Now, if that doesn't get me going I don't know what will. Even in its smallest form of writing barely readable, I instantly stopped in my tracks. You see, I have been looking for erotic magnetic poetry since I first heard about it being available. C'mon, who doesn't enjoy:

"Sniff wet red cunt and eat pears with feet."

Well, that's all I could come up with at the moment but spread a bunch of words out in front of me and I'll come up with some neat-o little lines that would make you think that fridge is coming onto me.

"Michael, I want you to climb onto the second shelf and bonk me silly, you little man o' muscle you! Make sure the produce isn't looking because lettuce is sensitive to sexual issues of this type of nature. Yes, the fridge shall be mounted! This I command!"

The whole point (there, really, is no point) is that I want to get this box of erotic magnets to place on my future fridge so that all ye who enter shall feel the power of their sexual perverted selves as they scramble to make me blush while walking by my fridge. Who says the kitchen cannot be a sexual place? You are B-O-R-I-N-G! A piss on your houseplants.

So, I will be taking off sometime next week to see Sara. We've been thinking of taking pictures of mah bits. I've mentioned how Sara and I wanted to mimic the Rolling Stone cover where Janet Jackson posed topless with hands covering her boobies (guess who has 2 copies of said issue!!). Well, in this case, it would be my chest of major muscle that Sara likes to grab.

It's funny how Sara and I have been behaving like goofballs. Opening her up to lots o' fun thoughts with a side of sex can do wonders in wanting to show others. Hmmmmm........should I pose in my Calvins or just low shorts. The questions are endless. Maybe, I should go completely naked and have Sara's hands cover my naughty bits. I'm so up for anything in which she touches my cock.

As you can see, I am in a good mood. The usual heat found in my room was not present thanks to the fact that I finally moved a fucking fan in there. Buffy and I chilled out here and there while she kept watch over the neighborhood. If you heard a bark, it was a major fuck you to all the toads and trespassers in my yard. Buffy doesn't like strangers unless they are invited.

I'm reading more and more people on Diaryland are praising Batman Begins. Well, Hollywood got it right and I must say that the ending is impressive as well since it sets up something major. Now, I have not seen it yet but I heard about all this and the smile grew so big. The 2 sequels planned are gonna be hella delicious!

So, how are you, dear reader? Things going well? Is this a quiet Friday night for you or are you preparing to find Mr. Right but possibly Mr. Right Now? Sometimes, I feel like I am the only guy here on Diaryland since I have read so much on bad (and good) dates, sex, periods, fancy footwear, dress sizes, ex-boyfriends, farting (Girls fart??), kissing styles, and even bowel movements. In my opinion, girls sound even more like guys than they realize.

Of course, feeling good brings about thoughts on sex but without the magnets. I know that there is style of sexuality with them but I really do not know how that goes. If there is no licking involved, sex is not happening.

I love getting blowjobs. Now, you might be saying, "But all guys do." Not entirely true. There was a period in my life where getting blown was dull since no girl seemed to get it right. When Bald-O heard how I found receiving blowjobs was dull, he nearly questioned my sexuality.

Alas, I am not quite ready to give an account to why blowjobs are the shizzle. I'm having trouble finding the right words to give you an idea, dear reader, of why we guys love them. Everyone should be fond of oral sex and the pleasure it brings and let those idiotic bible thumpers continue on with their altar boys. I'll explain in due time but.........

I saw a gay midget! I so forgot to tell of this but it was.........like gold, man. I've never seen one of this type of magnitude, gay and proud. You see, he was in the photography part of the bookstore so I just had to hop on next to him and observe this guy in his habitat. What I wasn't ready for was the giant book (big for him) he was looking at that had many, many penises on display in black and white. This gay midget was so absorbed in what he was looking at that he didn't even pay any attention to me even if I was quite close.

Well, you just cannot beat finding a gay midget can you? They're as rare as a truthful politician these days. I'm curious if Gay Nick would be interested in a gay midget. I mean, the dude could just stand there and suck Gay Nick's cock instead of kneeling. I've so got to get these idiotic thoughts out of my head that began with magnets. Pish-tosh, be off!

So, there you have it. I've had a good day as you have witnessed. I'll think about getting that erotic magnet set possibly tomorrow. Gawd, I love the word "vagina" with all my heart and soul. I hope all of you girls are proud of yours and use it with as much gusto as those closet pervs that fuck turned on vacuum cleaners that soon find themselves stuck while waiting for help. Men should not be left alone for too long. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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