*Answer on bottom*

So, I've been dealing with this nasty heat in my own personal way. Eating cherries and sneaking out an egg sandwich from the fridge. Yeah, I know it's a weird combination but I've always done things the way Frank Sinatra would be proud, my way. It's my way or the highway when it comes to odd eating habits. Well, I've still got thick strong arms and my abs are still visible so the body's not complaining.

My mind is kind of anticipating my birthday due on September 6th. I'll expect lots o' love and attention from y'all since us Virgos are very, very demanding good ol' boys. The date may seem a little far off from now but I always get antsy when The 4th rolls around since my mind takes it as meaning half of summer is gone. I just fucking hate summertime even if I love to wear cargo shorts like a freak.

Reporter: "We interupt this intellectual entry by Hedgehoggy. This is TomKat Watch and we have just learned from an interview that Scarlet Johansson had a meeting with Tom Cruise regarding a role in Mission Impossible 3. Apparently, she was freaked out when he tried to persuade her to join his Scientology cult. There was little discussion over the actual movie but more on whether she would join. I'll tell ya, that Tom is some kind of freak thinking that he can save the world but that could be cured with a bottle of Vicodin and 3 hookers named "Jenny," "Nicole," and "Bessy-Sue" all traveling to Vegas. Back to you, Hedgie!"

Well, it looks like we will be on TomKat watch all week til this fucking War Of the Worlds movie trailer stops playing every fucking time I turn on the TV. I'm hoping with the October release date of the DVD that the studio fears the movie is going to bomb. Please, please, please lower Tom Cruise's massive ego. No more PDA with Katie Holmes and then telling us after reading 1 book that he knows all.

According to a poll in Australia:

"Almost 35% of Australian men have fallen asleep during sex."

This is interesting because it could go both ways. Are the boys down under having stamina issues or are the girls just boring in bed? I've never fallen asleep during sex but I have passed out shortly afterwards due to being extremely tired. In no way would I turn down a romp in bed but a certain girl has been known to wear me out.

So, blowjobs, anyone? They are a lovely treat for all the good boys out there. What makes them so much fun is that they can be done pretty much anywhere. Just find a nice little secluded place, have your man stand there, take his cock out, and away you go! Once again, we boys got the best end when it comes to oral sex since physically you need more preparation when it comes to girls. Our undies don't even have to come off.

I'm more into spontaneous blowjobs since my cock likes a good shock to the system. Receiving them in the same old place gets dull since the thrill of possibly getting caught causes all this adrenaliine. The orgasm is so much more powerful when standing there in rows of corn while a rave is going on not too far away. Just remember to not allow your guy to drink beer as a blowjob is being given since orgasms have a tendency to make some men shake like a seizure is happening. No self-respectin' sista wants beer in her hair, right?

The perfect blowjob does not exist. Just like I've learned from going down on girls, oral sexual needs vary from person to person. From what I remember on drunken discussions with the boys, most guys like their dicks sucked slowly. Well, I like it slow in the beginning but fast and furious soon after.

I've never enjoyed being deep throated. While it's nice seeing my cock go all in, the pleasure isn't quite there. The head is where most of those eye rolling sensations happen so give it a lot of attention. Lick, lick, lick and suck, suck, suck.

One of the biggest things that makes me laugh when it comes to blowjobs is that guys never tell their girlfriends how they like 'em. Back in college, I had a roommate named Joe that made fun of his many times. He'd just completely destroy this girl in how she went down on him but not once did he even try to tell her what she's doing wrong. What an ass! Each time Joe spent some time with his girlfriend, he'd come back making fun of her and how she accidently used her teeth..........AGAIN!

The point is that Joe could have just stopped making fun of his girlfriend and talked to her. It's not like everyone is born with this amazing skill when it comes to oral sex. Joe could have told her how he likes his cock sucked, etc. or even demonstrated a little.

Oh, don't ever accidently use teeth. It hurts so much even if there is a teeny tiny percentage of guys that do enjoy that. Well, those guys that cum to fast need the teeth part to keep them from doing it too early. I guess I can understand that but I will tell you that it is painful. The skin is so thin that the slightest touch of a tooth sends nasty moments that make me cringe.

There was a time I hated receiving blowjobs. Hated it! When I told my friends this, they laughed at me since blowjobs are considered the most pleasurable form of sex to us guys. I'll agree that that is true but only Kristan knew what she was doing. After that, every girl I met in college that I ended up with had no idea what to do with my cock in their mouths.

The funniest one was when 1 girl thought that my cock just being in her mouth was pleasure enough for me. It was like a fish biting onto a worm and then just hanging there.

Luck be a lady. I'm back to loving blowjobs again! Sara is a queen at bedding me and I am her loyal subject. There is something amazing in how I end up completely exhausted and barely able to get up after just about every blowjob I've received from her. Yes, I kiss her after each one and then hold her to let her know how powerful she is. Moments I mentioned in the past still stay in my mind. I'm still amazed at how I got thrown onto a guy's bed when he was on an errand to receive an amazing blowjob that I was not expecting. According to Sara it was for such good behavior.

Don't you dare think that I don't do my part. I love going down on Sara in which I taste her like a madman on a lunatic fringe. Nothing gets to me more than the scent of her cunt, seeing her form a wicked smile, and then moaning while thrashing all around. What I love is how Sara even told me what she likes instead of just expecting me to know. Oh, it's great to have a girlfriend that is so open to talking about sex and all the fun things it brings. Boys really should learn how to go down on girls since not many I know have a fucking clue as to how to please their girls.

So, what do we learn from all this? Guys love blowjobs but we also enjoy the fact that the can be done anytime and anywhere whereas oral sex is a little physically difficult with girls due to various things we all know. The perfect blowjob does not exist but do concentrate on the penis's head to watch your guy's eyes roll back. Be creative and spontaneous. Even a blowjob in the kitchen is quite a helpful little treat. Just remember that we guys can only operate 1 thing at a time.

This may sound crazy but I am just not in much of a sexual mood after typing all that shit. The heat really takes my mind off of sexual thoughts since I'm so sleepy all day even while I wear this Red Hot Chilli Peppers t-shirt. Plus, I really should find out what I am doing on the 4th. A major part of me misses Bald-O and is hoping for another bash at his place since I enjoyed how much kids laughed while bending over and shooting bottle rockets outta my butt. The parents may have laughed, too, but I got scolded by Bald-O's mom since I'm just too impressionable and gosh dart it. The kids love me.

Warning: Hedgehoggy is hazardous to your health.

Gay Nick did not get me anything in Canada. "Too expensive" was his excuse. However, I did get a compliment from Gay Nick on my hair. Since most gay guys know style, I'll take that as a compliment even while I prefer my hair longer on top.

So, I am outta here after an amazingly informative entry of utter ridiculousness. I'm such a little stinker in love with life, an amazing girlfriend, and a little loony. Yeah, I know. I really need to shut the fuck up.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07