-Dream A Little Dream

Reading about the New York Times reporter that got jail for not revealing her source. Sad. As much as it would be nice to find out who gave out the CIA member's identity, reporters rely on being able to shield the identity of their sources. This case is so stupid. First, the Supreme Court rules that you can lose your house if the government thinks it is commercially suitable for them or the town. Next, reporters will have to reveal all sources. Finally, I'm sure abortion is going to be illegal at some point. I hate this world.

Well, I just got an idea as to what I am trying to get across about my boys down south. Ever seen Queer Eye For the Straight Guy? I've only come across it once or twice since I just cannot wear pink. The thing is that I would love for these guys to come to Bald-O's trailer and fix the dude up along with his place. It'll make him a very happenin' bachelor and possibly laid.

Editor: "We are going to call Bald-O's hand........"Mindy."

What amazed me was how the Queer Eye guys totally cleaned up this guy's apartment with unique bookshelves that really brought out the look. Once you walk in, the place looks so gorgeous. My only peeve is that the guy needed a much bigger TV. What testosterone filled guy lives with a 20 inch flat screen? It's 40something inch or no TV at all!

Well, as you know, this is Part 2 to the spectacle of July 4th. We all went places and I am learning from various diaries that I am no exception to the craziness of out of control drinking. It's not my thing but when you visit Bald-O's, it is a must. So, when in Rome..........

As I said before, I get looked at with complete stares when I wear clothes that reveal my arms or chest muscles. Yeah, I'm big in that I have a hard time fitting designer X-Large shirts. A lot of shit is taken by me by various people asking:

-"How much do you bench press?"

-"How much do you weigh?"

-"Can you set up a workout program for me?"

I've just believed that if you find something you are good at, then do it with all your heart. Working out just comes naturally for me since it has a very good calming effect along with it being a way for me to keep my cholesterol issue in check. At a bodyfat percentage of only 10%, I am damn good.

Well, I get shit about how I look which is no big deal but I also get something I truly hate, arm wrestling. When you get 3 boys pretty damn drunk, the testosterone really goes into effect. The table becomes a ring and the combatants are arms trying to push the other down. I suck. I suck really bad at arm wrestling. Not one of the events were winners for me.

First of all, arm wrestling does not prove strength. It's other things that apparently I do not have. Science does not work on ignorant little boys so I had to deal with much taunting in how their little arms beat me. Since I'm not at issue with my masculinity, this is not an issue. My boys will not admit to it but they are jealous of how I look.

Ah, but they are good guys even if I wish Queer Eye would clean them up. I think after college there comes a time where you need to actually care about your health, appearance, and how you present yourself. Dave's peeing on himself just gave me this feeling that my boys have lost and they should realize this is a good reason for all of them being single.

I do get my revenge on occasion. While at the cookout that was also inhabited by parents and children, Blondie tried to annoy me with questions about my muscular arms. Well, I shot back rather loud with, "What did you say about titties?"

At this point, Bald-O's face went red and everyone had their jaws drop. There was fear in which parents possibly overheard what I said. Nothing gets me going than embarassing others that try to annoy me. I've done plenty more before this so it's nothing new to me. I'm guessing that Bald-O's brother's girlfriend totally got it when she couldn't stop laughing.

When I arrived at the trailer on that day of July 2nd, I walk in to find my boys behaving all domestic-like! They do love to cook when it involves meat. What did suprise me was that Blondie brought 4 giant ribs that were stunning. I'm not a rib eater but I couldn't resist thanks to the smell and, boy, were they good. This is the moment all women should not have to witness, 5 guys eating messy meat.

FYI: The fifth guy to come to the trailer was Bald-O's brother's friend. Dave didn't come til the next night.

Next, I was told that all of us would be attending a party out in the country (It's pretty much all country down there so....) that would have a live band and.......wait for this.......strippers. The looks on my boys' faces of this possibility had a sense of urgency. Single guys hoping for a glimpse of naked female flesh tend to make getting rid of the ribs' messiness much faster.

When we got out into the middle of this nice field-like area, a cover charge of $5 was needed. Okay, now this is where it gets me kind of ticked off. First of all, the possibility of strippers was just as I thought, a rumor. There was no live band even though there was a stage. They were probably invisible or something. You had to pay for your own beer from the keg. At this point, it was a Dean Carter moment.

I paid $5 for this!?!

What was amusing was the lack of restroom facilities. The girls used the barn while the guys had to pee next to a shitload of trucks parked. The concealment of our cocks was nice but I'm sure the girls were a bit upset that there was nothing to wipe with. It also brings up the day after since I'm sure that barn reeked.

Oh, southern girls.........southern girls. Weird. I could swear that about 70% of them were teens at this party. Strange but I can't shake that feeling. You had the typical Britney Spears looking girl along with the cowboy hat wearing types as well. This is usually a couple since they wear the same freaking clothes!!! I just wanted to piss in their hats.

Then, you had the inevitable muscle head that *thinks* he is so fucking good looking. It's freaking chilly out there at 1am and he's wearing a wife beater!?! The guy got attention but I just can't help saying that he was nothing compared to me or my gym buddies. Do I sound jealous? Hardly. It's just that certain people try too hard in getting attention and it annoys me like the thong goers that complain about guys looking at them as they bend over.

I don't know what else to tell you about what happens when 3 ex-college roommates get together. Since there is no "Letters To Penthouse," I got a lot of questions about my bedtime habits with Sara. I'm quite private in that area when it comes to people that look at sex as something just to get laid. I did learn that Blondie has never shaved a girl's naughty parts before.

It's funny how a part of me can't wait to see the boys again. This won't be for a while since I need plenty of time to reaquire my brain cells as well as to recover my sanity. They annoy me but my boys and I have so much history. There is also the addition that they have my back when things get bad so you never turn down a good friendship if you disagree with various things. It's the inside that counts even if you end up arm wrestling to the sounds of others mimiccing Over the Top (classic Stallone movie, folks. Classic).

So, I *think* I have gotten my weekend all out for you to see what happens. I've got plenty of pictures that just might go up someday. I know that some of the arm wrestling ones are in there along with Blondie doing a beer bong (I did 1, too, since it's tradition in male bonding for us). We'll see............

I've got to drop a shout out to MTV's "The 70's House." How fucking cool is that!?! They took a bunch of fuck-ups that think they are going to be on The Real World but end up in a place where nothing beyond 1979 is allowed. The language, the fashions, and gadgets are groovy. If the intercom rings, everyone has to break out their dance moves to do "The Hustle." More on this hilarious show..........

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

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My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07