Winston: "Wonder what?"

Peter Venkman: "Whether she's naked under the toga. She *is* French. You know that."

-Ghostbusters 2 (Peter and Winston standing at the foot of the Statue of Liberty).

So, I find from my sitemeter that Australians are looking me up. *Waves to Australia* Just what does Hedgehoggy do for you? Somehow, I think y'all want me to put on a damn show that involves a few nuns (got 1 down the street) and 5 dogs (got those, too!) while riding a keen moped. There is nothing sexier than a very strong white boy on a moped. Nosirree! Especially when he shows a little crack o' his ass while wearing a helmet with goggles and scarf. I'm sure at this point that Australians will hope I get eaten by dingoes.

So, what do we talk about? Hmmmmmmmm...just what is on lil' Hedgehoggy's mind?

Okay, as you all know, my girlfriend's apartment is haunted. Nothing like that feeling of being watched as you do incredibly personal things like giggling as your girlfriend sinks her teeth into your neck, waving your leg around while she scratches your head (oh, I am so a dog!), or receiving the most amazing head while laying there laughing at whip cream sitting there on the tip o' yo' penis. Damn, no cherry this time!

To be serious, yes, there is a definite haunting. I've named her "Spook." From what I saw while shaving my face in the mirror while no one was home not too long ago, I saw her float on by me. Now, I knew no one was home but I still had to look out into the hall to see what the fuck just made a huge motion.

Nothing. Na-da. The hall was clear for it was just me and the cat, Lenore. Due to my pretty damn nifty side-view vision, I swear that I saw something that looked to be a woman with long white torn clothes just float by.

Plus, there were other incidents. Like the time I was laying there reading a book and could swear that I felt someone watching me. Or when I was reading on Sara's bed waiting for her to get home from work, there was motion in the hall again. Nothing has ever landed a finger on me but I do have those little hairs on me just stick up at odd times.

Well, Spook made another appearance while I was in Indiana. I'm sure you are skeptical at this point and I say rightfully so. It's just that I have really good side vision so things only occasionally get by me. This moment happened as I was crouched down on the floor in Sara's room looking for my socks as what happens when you have sex. Things get thrown all over the fucking room like a tornado hit it. The mornings after find us trying to locate clothes that have been torn off and thrown around.

Editor: "I think we'd like to hear more about the sex."

Perv! Anyway, I was there on the floor when I could have sworn Spook floated on in and then just disappeared. I walked out of the room to see if Sara had just peeped in to see what I was up to but she was in the bathroom waiting for me to shower with her. The roommate could not have done it since she was doing her thing not even near the room. That just kind of weirded me out a bit but, hey, I've got a sexy shower to get to.

You could be skeptical since I see it as a good thing for people to not just accept what people say. Think for yourselves and I must admit that it is best to not allow religion in all this. Ugh, how the fuck does someone become what they are supposed to by following a moron that thinks pleasure in any form is bad. You were given a vagina and penis so use 'em, kids. Let the cum flow!

Whoo! I got a bit off topic but I firmly believe that Sara's apartment is haunted. There are all these little motions that I catch every now and then. Sara thinks that Spook had something to do with the latch on the door being messed with since no one touched it which forced the roommate to not be able to get in. I can honestly tell you that I never touch the door once it is locked shut.

I guess the point is that Spook gets a kinky thrill and why not? I'm sure while Sara and I are at it in that moaning stage, she's rubbing it the right way but quietly. Damn, that has got to be a new fantasy! Who wouldn't want to watch a ghost get off on watching other people having passionate sex!?! Have you ever seen a grown man nearly pass out after an amazing blowjob? Spook, probably, had her way with me, too, but in a spiritual way.

Editor: "We don't wanna upset the religious freaks now do we?"

So, moving on......I have a show that makes me get all hot n' bothered and it aint G-String Divas, the lovely HBO series that throws flowers to strippers. Although, that show was pretty damn cool since ALL college boys stopped whatever they did and placed all eyes on their little TV sets to hopefully know the horrible truths of being a stripper. We cried and sobbed like mad when Candy showed how she can really give off what she's made of while her legs are intwined around a patron's neck. Actually, a lot of guys (I heard about this) would do shots at each shot of da "pink parts."

Thank you, HBO. College took on a whole new purpose to bring about debate and First Ammendment Rights.

The Sopranos. That's the fucking show I just go fucking bonkers over. Tony, Adriana, Christopher, Carmella, and so many characters bring this show a life I'd never thought a bunch of fat guys like these could be so intimidating. Okay, I'd run if Tony came around but, man, some of these thugs are old farts but with great acting skills.

I'm definitely not speaking for Sara on this issue but I guess from the moments she heads into the bathroom is when I start singing along to the Sopranos's theme song. Yeah, we've got Tony Soprano driving along New York to head home with a cigar in his mouth as I feel my tensions rise to the occasion! Damn, I was born under a bad sign, with a blue moon in my eyes.

"You've got that shotgun shine! Shame about it, born under a bad sign!"

-Sopranos Theme

Isn't it funny to find things that are passionate in others? I'm sure my singing along sucks but I get all fired up while watching this show. My contact in my right eye bugged me like hell but it was easily forgotten about while 4 episodes of Sopranos was watched down in Sara's parents' den. Yes, the sight of giant Italian guys cussing brought about some mucho cuddling and kissies.

Other than that, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking my left knee completely blew out. Fucking freaky! There I could have sworn that I was laying in bed in extreme pain but didn't want to wake Sara up. Even though I had this huge fear of having to rely on help with walking, I just went back to sleep. See? The whole dream was me waking up in pain but I was really asleep. Strange and the knee is fine so I hope this doesn't foreshadow something.

Well, there you have it. 4 hours of The Sopranos with the loveliest of girls being quite understanding of my need to sing along to L7's song. I'm sure she was in the bathroom laughing at me but I am able to have some faults here and there. Spook is still checking up on me as I scream from the cold of whipped cream being placed in "interesting places." I'm dreaming of waking up? So, it was another great weekend in Indiana!

The only other thing to say is I hope people enjoy the festivities at bookstores thanks to Harry Potter's release being Saturday. My independent bookstore has a white owl being brought in the afternoon and, yes, I absolutely love owls. However, I will be in Indiana with Sara and various people attending with us as I watch Sara do a happy-dance. Me? I'll get my book later on as I cowar from the various children scaring me. A while back, a little girl came over to me in Wal-Mart just to step on my Air Jordans.

Editor: "So, little kids scare you because they might step on yo' shoes? That's just fucked up, yo."

Well, that is it from me. Keep on loving me, huh, you little Australians, you. I'll visit someday since I've always wanted to go along with London, Canada, Texas, and Hawaii. I'm not sure if I'll fit right in since most Australians are drinking wine now. This has me scratching my head since I picture them with a nice cold Foster's to which they smash with their head, throw a boomerang at the village idiot, and then pass out from all the shagging with whatever warm body comes their way. Since when would they want to sit on their porch drinking white wine with a giant snapper? G'night.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

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My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07