-Jon Stewart (describing comb-overs at the Republican National Convention)

Oh, what a night to find myself suddenly interested in the latest morons on MTV's "Real World" only to be let down. While reading, I got interested in Rachel's being asked out by a guy she met in Austin, Texas. The dude was pretty damn big n' all and even asked her out for sushi.

The next thing ya know, I'm feeling all mooshy and deeply into what is happening for this girl, Rachel, all while suddenly being interested in this guy she meets, a bouncer. Love is in the air and I'm growing curious if someone on this show can actually show an amount of maturity.

Nope, na-da. This bouncer we are introduced to, Collin, is found to be a sneaky shithead since he has a girlfriend while poor Rachel is hoping for love. Damn, it was the first time in a long time I ever felt the slightest amount of interest for a moron on Real World. My hopes were dashed since, once again, we realize that there are too many morons in the world just as Wes and that black guy start a drawer of phone numbers to see who has more game.

Now, the little part of me that also got a tingle was hearing Rachel describe Collin, the cheating bouncer, with her friend. Girls just love the big guys since they feel safer? Muscles are a major attraction? A girl can get lost in those arms of magnitude? Oh, do go on, girl!

Editor: "You, my friend, need to eat a sandwich of shut-the-fuck-up or go watch some of those fat guys in Sopranos."

What I am getting at is that with all the stupid people we were introduced on Real World (the first season was the ONLY smart one), I've rarely felt for anyone on that show. Along comes a possibility for someone that rates herself a "7" being happy with a guy she rates as a "9," you've gotta feel a little bit for her.

If I were ever invited to be on MTV's Real World, I'd instantly ask myself if I'm now considered stupid.

So, I am finding that my gaydar is fizzling at the moment. Gay Nick was talking to a guy that walked up to him in order to show the new Advocate. Now, I know that is a gay magazine but thanks to all the grunting and testosterone in the gym around me, I'm dumbed down a bit. You see, Gay Nick laughed at me for asking if the magazine holder was gay.

Editor: "Look at my eyes, hold out your hand, and *slap*. Stupid!"

It's just funny how I talk to Gay Nick so much more than anyone else. Will, Jody, and many others just aren't much for conversation unless it's about sports. Gay Nick will go on and on about anything. Yesterday, it was about Charllie And the Chocolate Factory. Today, it was about how much he doesn't like Queer As Folk as I mentioned how much he might like the guys in barely more than cowboy hats dancing.

I've gotta give the magazine holder some major props for openly displaying his Advocate. Right there on the cover was a muscular cowboy with his shirt open and a headline that clearly said, "Summer Sexy Issue." You see, we live in a time of definite homophobia, etc. so my gym of guys have a huge amount of it.

Yeah, you'll hear the words "fag" and "faggot" quite often in my gym. The biggest amount come from the enormous weightlifters that I train with on occasion. It's kind of weirds me out since I worry that a huge fight might break out. Gay Nick is so fucking feminine with no fight in him that you could hit him with a straw and he will cry.

There isn't much to worry about in my gym since a fight will instantly be broken up by other macho gargantuan white guys. Like school, there are always sides. I'm more likely seen as the quiet rebel since I'm not going all around talking to everyone just because they are there. Bodybuiding Nick is the arrogant bully that has a bit of hate for me since I don't bow down to him. Jody is the coward of anything while Gay Nick is the guy trying to get me to dance while "Thriller" plays in his head. There's more but that'll give you a small idea of what I come across each night.

Remember when I menitoned the fact that we have some old ladies that don't wear underwear and it's so easily noticeable when you have to walk over them as sit-ups are being done? It looks like a row of varmints half-way crawled into a furnace and died from electrocution thanks to the fact that razors are a forbidden word. Those are the best words I can give you for what definitely is a "muff."

Well, I could go on because there are so many freaky people in my gym. We've got a gay guy that dressed like George Michael from that "Monkey" video. If you've never seen it, what he wore was tight jean shorts, suspenders, a tight white shirt, and a hat. We are not talking ballcap here but one of those old type o' hats. Needless to say, I got the giggles like a schoolgirl. I've seen more thongs and boobs than I need to. I know what color panties are being worn by the local college girls because they come in transparent tight white pants. Some guys have their balls hanging out of their shorts when they do bench presses. I'll always tell Gay Nick if there is a "ball sighting" so he can sneak a peek. Yes, there are old guys that walk around the locker room in thongs but ladies....don't get your hopes up. Their bellies hang over so ya know what I'm talking about!

I think I need to get all of these images out of my head now so I will stop here. Yeah, I know you probably want to know more about Indiana n' all that so I'll sum it up. Got book. Sex was damn hot. Had fun. The end. What can I say? Harry Potter rocks! I'm a geek inside while Sara is, too, since we read a lot.

Maybe, I'll do an extra special entry for tomorrow since my birthday is not so far away now. Mark down "September 6th," folks since I expect oodles and oodles of love from y'all. Do I need a spanking and a lapdance from someone dressed in a schoolgirl outfit complete with tiny skirt? Well, I'll do a list as to what I want for my birthday. G'night.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07