*Answer at bottom*

And so I sit and think thanks to a conversation in the gym with Joe. Allow me to remind you who he is, though. I first met Joe last year when the conversation with this very large guy erupted from my need to ask the simplest of questions.

"Did you play football?"

You should have seen the look on this guy's face as I, one of the first people to even talk to him, opened him up with the simplest of communications between us males. Yes, the art of getting the ball at least 10 yards at a time on each try while your enemy is just dying to smash your face into the dirt and possibly squeeze your balls on contact. You have no idea what goes on under a pile-up, ladies.

I've mentioned Joe many times in the past but he disappeared thanks to his job's new hours that have him working in the evening. I am not interested in working out at 6am thanks to the fact that my body does not function like that. Tried it. Didn't like it. The end. Joe is destined to suffer in working out at such a disgusting hour, folks.

So, today's meeting was 1 in every 2 weeks it seems. Joe will surface when I least likely expect him to show up. There he was waving at me while working his ass off on the treadmill. Somehow, there is this weird signal that goes off when we ex-football players meet. I may not have much gaydar but I sure as hell have some form of jockdar.

He-Man: "I have the poooooooooooower!"

After Joe and I have our usual laughs at first meeting each other after some time (This had me exclaiming to Joe that he lost weight and him showing me his sexy new thighs. Girls, you have no idea how gay most of us gym-goers act), we got into a discussion about girlfriends. You see, I know Joe's lives in Oklahoma and he misses her quite a bit.

At first, Joe sounded a little annoyed at how his girlfriend really, really, really wants to get married. I laughed at this since I don't have that problem with Sara. Next, I somehow just blirted out that Sara is an artist.

"Mine, too!"

I never thought I'd hear those words. It's very rare to meet female artists for some reason. Sara is a first for me so it was nice to find something that Joe and I got into a good discussion about. We'd go back and forth over what our girlfriends do and again found similarities. Painting? Sculptures? Working with metals? Girls that let out their emotions no matter how strongly they can be shown? Isn't that more amusing than the typical guys just talking about what goes on in the bedroom?

As for a description of Joe, ladies, he is awesome to hang with so I'm guessing that you'd love that goofiness he brings. Personality is huge so he and I hitting it off as friends was so easy. It's no wonder Joe waves at me from a distance while others look confused as I give him the "cool pointing."

2 topics that ALL guys I have met love to talk about:

-Sports (namely, football)
-Jackass (bottle rockets released from the ass, the pooping in the store bit, when Steve-O stapled his ass cheeks together)

I'm not joking that all guys will just get into a deep discussion on Jackass or football. However, sports is kind of a guy only thing since guys like to have their own place. They'll look at girls with some suspicion so take this slowly. However, when it comes to a discussion on event that took place on MTV's Jackass, go for it. Guys are insane about it.

So, I'm going to hold off on the birthday list I was going to do. The reason is that I want a bit of time to think about things that do not warrant a materialitic vibe. The list has more to do with what I want out of the world as I continue to not want to be a part of it. The Republicans are destroying it at a rapid pace so I'm all for turning my back when the president shows up on the TV.

I did read an interesting article on how to get a woman to swallow. Actually, it had me laughing for a bit since it almost seemed like begging from the male. A guy had to go through all these hoops just to be able to shoot his spunk there. Cum is cum but the debate will always rage on due to some form of resentment of various spunk.

I've always wondered why certain women are more willing to swallow a guy's cum more than others. Is it the taste? Texture? Disgust? Humiliation? You never hear of a guy spitting out women's spunk and, yes, you ladies do create some major juices down there. How would you like it if your guy was spitting every few seconds of licking you? Talk amongst yourselves.

Should I get more into blowjobs again? There's always something to discuss on that topic. I'm coming across a lot of diary entries where girls worry about their technique since guys generally don't share their feelings on this as often as a girl would like. Weird. Sara and I can talk about everything with ease. Kind of goes along with George Michael's wonderful words from "I Want Your Sex:"

"Sex is natural.
Sex is good.
Not everybody does it,
but everyone should!"

George was so ahead of his time and I do hope he got that monkey off his back. That reminds me how bad my gaydar was. I had no clue that George Michael was gay til the middle 90's. Seriously. I'm trying so hard to fix the fizzling that I've been getting while Gay Nick laughs at me. Then again, the way we guys talk in the gym could make anyone think we really, really like each other considering all the waves. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'm hoping people have finally finished their Harry Potter books. There has been much debate over the book's ending thanks to a very major character's death at the hands of another major character but I also want to know what Diarylanders feel. Crying and even disgust were known to be words on how book critics felt once it was finished. I'll admit to a bit of sadness but I also wanted for Harry to fulfill that rage. Just how we're going to have Hermione and Ron follow along remains to be seen.

So, this is a dull entry n' all but the nasty humidity out there warrants such a thing. I'm moody here and there since I am just not a summer person. After the gym, I pretty much describe myself as "The Stinky Cheese Man." Great book if you can find it and always appreciate a person involved in the arts. G'night.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07