-American Pie (Jim's dad talking to Jim after catching him in the kitchen having sexual relations with a pie....or "baked goods")

Oh, how I howled in laughter when I came across the ol' American Pie speech that made me cry in the theater. Those were tears of laughter so hard and heavy that I didn't know if I (and the other 50 or so people) would be asked to leave from all the noise. I first saw American Pie before it became the hit movie it is now because we got free tickets to a special sneak preview. Of course, my friend, Newman, and I did get the idea that there would be an amazing amount of nudity, etc. but little did we know that the movie was more on the girls turning things around on the guys. Surprising amount of feel-good comedy. I still know of no one having sex with food products but I know they are out there.

That's been my only highlight of the day. My dad is pretty ill at the moment and will be taken in to the doctor's office tomorrow. We've been through this before but it still has a sting to it all thanks to my dad not taking care of himself. Oh, how I hate to see his obesity and various other things related to health going south. Why can't the fucker try!?! I get so mad at my dad for not bothering to take care of himself.

My dad and I are nothing new. He always has to make me feel inferior and all that bullshit while fucking things up in this house. We've got an RV parked in the right driveway that has done nothing. Not a damn thing but he wanted it. It's just more useless junk that annoys the hell out of me since our backyard looks like white trash just won the Lottery since we live in a nice neighborhood.

Wanna know how hot it was today? The heat index said 107 degrees. I'm not shitting you and, yes, it is still fucking hot as I took the dogs outside. My body has no interest in this type of weather. My calvins were riding up all day after walking just a short while. Balls stuck to me so I had to make sure no one was looking as I peeled 'em off. Makes me wonder if the thong wearers had issues..........

All I did was venture into my gym with hardly anyone in there. Not surprising since it's awful in that place as well. I started sweating just walking into the locker room.

Tamalah, one of my favorite friends from the gym, wanted to see me after she got done teaching her SPIN class (you ride a stationary bike like a maniac for an hour to hip hop music). My workout was done pretty much at the time Tamalah was finished. 45 minutes we stood there talking about Being Bobby Brown, that reality show based on him and Whitney Houston, and various other topics.

Tamalah pointed out something I didn't realize. Being Bobby Brown makes her feel like black people are being exploited in that it shows these rich pathetic fucks (Bobby and Whitney) behaving like fools. To Tamalah, it says that you can take a black person out of the 'hood but you can't take the 'hood out of the black person. Oh, by the way, she's black and proud of her ghetto booty.

Seeing Bobby Brown being exploited? Interesting. It's sad how celebrities are almost always guaranteed a show all for nothing. Sure, it's funny to hear Bobby talking about having to use his finger to help Whitney poop but.....it's also a bit out there in that they need to air such things. Plus, the stereotypes associated with blacks are so fucking obvious in what they are putting out. Addictive? Yes. Worth putting on TV? Hell to the no!

I did have a Bobby Brown moment that I'm sure all pet owners go through in trying patience. My little Buffy barked for me to take her outside. Charming and demanding? Very. Standing out there sweating while waiting, Buffy finally found a place to poop. Dingle-berries made the heat's obvious annoyance even worse.

Now, of course, I didn't want to use my hands as Buffy (such a sweet dog, I swear!) stood there waiting while I pulled 'em off with the pooper scooper. Hell, she even waited in mid-poo as 1 was sticking out her butt ready to go. This dog, my dog, is incredibly easy to take care of and spend time cuddling with. My mom says Buffy loves me like mad and misses me by moping when I'm gone to Indiana.

I don't know what else to tell you since I'm just kind of down at the moment. Yeah, I feel bad since I keep holding off on my little sexual entry I want to get out. It's one of those 5 Things..... that I find amusing.

Thanks to Hiss, I've had a hell of a lot of traffic. Geez, they come to glance but don't stay for the show. No problem since I want to keep away from popularity of any type. Your entry on being chased by various penises was quite a good read!

FYI: The plural form of "penis" is "penii." I think that's a stupid word so we'll just keep using "penises." Just how ugly is a kangaroo's? Hiss, you should have a line-up of pictures of various ones from animals.

My 15,000th hit was none other than Sara. Oh, that's good timing! Hmmmmmmmm...how can I be of service to the winner? I'm sure you can think up hundreds of ways as with that impressive imagination of yours, Sara.

Well, I'm sorry for the sour-puss that's come out of me but I cannot deny my mood going south. My dad, even if I am quite angry with him, still means a lot to me as I see him lose himself. It's just something I do not understand in why he lets himself go like that. Oh, and it hurts even more when I know that my dad never taught me baseball, football, basketball, and all that. I did it all myself so you wonder why I'm so good with women? My mom. I grew up with my mom, quite a strong woman, more so than my dad. Long story. Long, long story.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07