-Batman (1989)

Only 1 more full day in dealing with this shitty week. Saturday will be quiet and nice plus I take that day off when it comes to my many visits to my gym. It has been 2 days til I farted on the treadmill if you must know. Sunday'll be the one where I walk down the stairs to the smell of eggs being made in strange ways, poached, scrambled, or omellete. Oh, how I love eggs! Popeye has his spinach while us weight-lifters go crazy over eggs.

Now, will someone, please, tell the spiders to stop biting me. 1 bite was enough but this one on my inner right forearm is annoying as hell. Could it be that Sara was right in that I taste good? Biting is sexy but ah don't need fangs finding there way past the top layer of skin. Oh, how I wish I could become Spiderman tomorrow!

Finished your Harry Potter And the Half-Blood Prince? Might I suggest this oddly interesting book by Kim Harrison? It's about a witch that does "runs" involving helping rid the world of evil doers, such as vampires gone wrong or demons wanting slaves from the idiotic humans the conjured 'em up. Crafty little story that will also find this witch living with a female vampire dying to seduce her while a family of pixies lives in the desk. Different is good.

Never get involved in an accident. My mother had to write in a detailed explanation as to what happened yesterday for Illinois's vehicle mishaps place. Yeah, they keep track of all the shitty people that drive through stop signs only to end up stuck to my mom's Navigator's ass. In the sea, these kinds of idiots would be called "butt barnacles."

Spent a little time going over the accident's detailed explanations. Since my mother was a very good teacher when it came to her third grade class, not a thing was off. I so enjoy having smart parents even if the drama of a meth addicted house does make me giggle. Down south where Bald-O lives, there is a section of these people. When the clock hits 6pm, it's run around naked with marks all over your body and no teeth while Lynard Skynard yells out, "What's That Smell?"

Reading a highly intelligent gentleman's magazine (in other words, there will be boobies and butt but no bush to follow the good writin'), a question came up as to what to wear to an orgy. Wow! I so did not think of such a thing when it came to that. Add this to another of many interesting questions that we are hard pressed to ask our mates regarding sex, and you've got yourself a fun read.

What would you wear to an orgy? I'm thinking that if I knew one was taking place and Sara was with me, I'd go pretty damn nice looking. Not too nice since I don't want to lose my clothes. Pickiness as to what type of button downs I can wear abound due to my large shoulder'd frame. Plus, I'd definitely not want to get any type of KY or vagina juices on my threads (all guys should have condoms on so semen will not be an issue).

Now, if I dress normally and walk into an orgy with Sara that I did not know about, I'd be okay with that. Everyone being totally into what is going on around them should pretty much not care as to what you are wearing. I mean, jeez, it's gonna come off! Unlike Superman needing a telephone booth, I'm fine with just ripping my clothes off right there. This boy loves to get naked fast!

That's not saying that Sara and I wish to visit orgies and such. It's just a hypothetical question that's fun to think about. I'm quite open when it comes to sexuality since I think you should spend a great deal exploring. My only issue is that people that visit orgies really need to take better looks at themselves in the mirrors. Swingers, etc. look pretty bad according to what I've seen in documentaries, like meth addicts but with better teeth and less twitching.

As I said, people may hate others having massive loads of sex with so many people in a room but I'm fine with it as long as it's safe with condoms and everyone has had tests for STDs and AIDS. Who says you can't enjoy your body like a mad monkey? Oh, that guy upstairs? Might I call you a feeble minded moron following something that keeps you from having fun? Christianity and all its judgemental hatin' should be taxed til it's outta our life.

Want an amusing question that had me laughing? We've all heard of those questions regarding women wanting to make their lovers' spunk taste better. Supposedly, the answer is pineapple juice. Well, what about making a woman's naughty parts smelling better? There are times that the Ph factor can be off and this is in no way her fault so what can she do?

Wine. I laughed at how simple it was to have a woman with a smelly muff just drink some red wine. It has something to do with the chemicals turning the Ph back to normal. You see, the vagina is quite acidic at a rate of 4 out of 6.5. It needs to be kept at a good temperature and various things like panties, environment, and eating habits play roles. Or maybe the damn thing needs to be aired out.........

Editor: "Yeah, I can see millions of women taking it all off after work and laying there with legs spread while a fan blows away the funk. More wine?"

Arent't you just tickled to read all sorts of weird things in my diary?

I've read one of the weirdest things about being a boyfriend. Apparently, girls like guys that are aloof and show no interest. Well, I am not one of these in that I damn well miss Sara a lot! How long's it been since I've seen my girlfriend, huh? I'll have to look at my calendar book that I keep track of things with.

Sara and I are trying to figure out a time I can get my ass to Indiana for all those things lovers play, hugging, kissing, eating, and the most obvious, sexxing up the room with orgasmic moans. I'm sure some of these events found in the bedroom are banned in states with boring bible belters choosing what is law. Sara's work schedule has this on hold for now while my engine is revvin' up more and more each day.

So, what's your excuse? It's a Friday night and I'd think that you'd be out there in the bars trying to hustle in order to make ends meet. Oops, sorry. I watched a bit too much BET in which rappers talk of "keeping it real." It's true that when you're busy doing something else that your mind catches little things flowing in quietly while you aren't paying attention. My dog, Buffy, has a tendency to step on the TV remote while I read.

Well, as you get older, more and more of your friends move away, get married and have no time but for the kids. Some become freaks of nature haunting the various drying out clinics after living off of Daddy's hard earned millions. Others turn to trying to bring back roller skating as a sport for their, uh, weird part of the world. Short shorts just don't work well for us guys so knock off the comeback of 70's attire, especially if you are too young to know what went on.

Some nights, I sit outside with my dogs and wonder what it's like to live on a ranch surrounded by kangaroos, wallabies, and koalas all staring at this piece of U.S. stirred beef. I'll be as out of place as a bad natured Viking surrounded by good china at a antique store. Of course, when Buffy comes up to my face to give me a lick on my cheek, I know I'm doing okay in my own land slowly losing itself to corruption starting on top.

Time to say goodbye to all my company. M-I-K....see you real soon! E-Y......why? Because we love you! Mikey Mike rocks the house! Now, what would you wear to an orgy? G'night.

- - 2009-07-07

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