-"Man Not A Myth" by 2 Live Crew

I'm not sure why but I just love how Diaryland has allowed me to meet some of the coolest people in the world. Just yesterday, I got an email from Sammy on how much she would miss me if I left this place and how I need to keep my head up away from all the drama causing people. I've always thought that if you get someone ticked with what you say, you're on to something big.

So, if you are bored out of your skull while sitting in a cubicle, just know that I try to put out a good product in my manner of thinking or creativity. We all know that I'm not exactly safe for work but you don't have to worry about X-Rated pictures popping up.

I'm also never going to stray from telling the truth in things when it comes to life, politics, and sex. Your politicians do not care about you one bit so don't listen to all that shit they put out over the air. It's more about getting themselves reelected or to get more publicity than they actually deserve.

One more time. Video games do not kill people or cause a kid to have sex. If someone is that turned on by a set of pixels that resemble a naked woman, that person is fucked up from day one. To some, it's the only education they have but that just shows how bad parenting has gotten. Our governor has made it a big deal in law when it comes to a store selling a video game with an "M" rating to a kid. Huge fines! Shouldn't we be more concerned over how corrupt he is becoming than whether Donkey Kong is wearing pants or that may not be an actual banana in his hand?

Oh, in case you are wondering, I am not a video game fanatic. I mean, I do have my past of loving the Nintendo, Sega Genesis, and so on. My Xbox is not put through as much use as it should but I'm planning to revisit my childhood someday. Okay, maybe it'll start sooner since Darkwatch, a cowboy/vampire/zombie game that has me wanting to grab the ol' six-shooter and save me some fine ladies. Yes, Sara, that's the game I showed you pictures of in Barnes.

Our lack of creativity and need for remakes makes me wonder if we should bring back the ol' cowboy or western flicks. No one did 'em better than Clint but The Wild Bunch brings back an impressive ending of a major battle. Cowboys? Now, I know there are some that will start to quote Bon Jovi in saying:

"I'm a cowboy, on a steel-horse, I ride.
I'm wanted! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaanted! Dead or alive!"

Okay, I love that song, too, because it's one of the few songs that can get a guy to cry out "wanted" and be mysty-eyed in front of his male friends. Am I the only one that feels this way? Just why did Bon Jovi cut his hair, man? That large perm was awesome!

I don't know what the hell is up with me when it comes to the stares I've been getting from local college girls. Here I was walking in Barnes N Noble to look at the new US Weekly (Gasp! We get a cover story on the troubles between Brad and Jen!) and stared at by this 1 girl working on something with her 2 friends. I'm not joking at all because I passed 3 times while finding a place to park my hot little ass in order to read how horrible it is to be rich and the paparazzi say bad words about you.

There is another incident in which I am being fawned over by a girl in Barnes as well. Geez, the pretty fairy must have made a stop while I was slumbering away just recently. Stared at? A girl that stops me to talk/touch me? Diarylanders masturbating over my uber hot sex entries? Stopping to look at the image of myself halk-naked while at Sara's only to hear her say:

"You need to wear wife beaters."

Oh, what is a pretty Hedgehoggy to do!?! Alright, enough of this fawning over myself. It's just downright icky and funny to me how my ego is slowly (very, very slowly) going up since I may ever actually consider wearing a wife beater with Sara around. Before that, always an oversized XX-Large shirt (today's was my red Linkin Park one and, yes, Sammy, I know you looooooooooove them) to hide what I've been working on in my lab, the gym.

Yes, Sara knows about all this since I told her. Love to see those claws come out when the cat-like deadliness comes to life. Then again, I'm easily amused by a white cat that chases its tail only to fall off the bookshelf.

Oh, I get free massages each week if I so choose to! I doubt I'd do it but Tamallah, my friend in the gym with a ghetto booty of amazing proportions and teaches Spin Class, wants me to be her dummy for massage class. In her words, I'll be her "muscular white boy." By the way, Tamallah is a friend and I know her fiance, one of the most massive muscular black dudes ever! It's harder than it looks, massage therapy.

Gawd, am I full of myself today or what? Whatever. I'm gonna ride out a good day since I am just happy to have a new job if tomorrow goes well. I'll get into that later.

So, when will I get into Indiana? I'll tell most everything tomorrow since I'm kind of awaiting Sara's review of the porn, Behind the Green Door. It's just a fucked up little unforgettable movie from the 70's that I never forgot about due to MR's dad's secret stash of porn. New Year's Eve found us sitting around the TV to see the wonderful dialogue found in Debbie Does Dallas, a woman with amazing abilities with her throat in Deep Throat, and ejaculation in slow motion from Behind the Green Door. My first thought was:

"My penis will do THAT!?!"

Yeah, I can do that and more. Oh, the joys to be so young and confused about sex after the teachings of nuns. According to them, women that would want to have sex with me are nothing but whores. If I had seen The Exorcist at that age, I'd possibly think that nuns masturbate with their large crosses. Gotta love the words said by little Reagan as she was possessed by Satan. Either that or Alice Cooper made a secret appearance but I always found him to be such a delight in how he presented himself.

So, with all that in mind, let's bring back some cowboy movies and stop allowing nuns to teach in schools. It'll all make the world a safer place for those of us with actual healthy (and very dirty) minds to think about all those healthy fucks on playground equipment after dark. You know how it goes. Once you unzip, you can't stop. Just don't allow me to think of myself as so fetch. Hey, I quoted Mean Girls! G'night.

P.S. Porn tomorrow. I promise. Why? Because I wealy, wealy like you.

- - 2009-07-07

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