-"I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett

Well, if you must know why I've quoted 2 songs by Joan Jett, I'll just tell you it as blunt as possible. I loved her! Next to women firing an automatic at the enemy with an open mouth yelling obscenities, a girl with a guitar, a potty mouth, and a mental/physical toughness are wet dreams of the most filthy kind. My faves are "Black Leather," the one above, and "I Love Rock N Roll." Please, do not talk about Britney's take on the last one. That kind of talk will get you a glass o' brew smacked on to yo' head.

I've had an outmost shitty day all due to some weird heat cramps surging throughout my body. The lightest touch by things sends a small amount of aches here and there. It didn't help having little Buffy run up and down my back as she patrolled during her neighborhood watch program. Those nails of hers need to be cut, yo.

All the news is bringing up is gas prices. Good golly, we are gonna be seriously fucked! It takes a little over $30 to fill my car up but that's not the whole issue. Prices of things will no doubt rise thanks to shipping. School buses are going to have kids get out and push every 10 miles (my mom's joke, today) to help save a little gas. Food pantries are going to possibly cut back more on what they can stock. Britney Spears is gonna have to cut back on Cheetos when visiting the local gas station to whizz thanks to us all knowing pregnant women need to go, like, every 10 minutes so Kevin's gotta pull in with that Mercedes of his.

FYI: I hate Britney and Kevin and hope his "rap album" tanks so bad.

What do you say to someone that is about to get divorced? I ran into my friend, Kim, and asked her how her husband is doing. She shows me her ring finger only to have it as just the finger. Damn, I thought Kim was doing okay in her marriage n' all that groovy stuff (Kama Sutra, gardening, and running) but her "hub" was miserable, apparently. Boo to him. Kim rocks!

I hate it when people break up over the stupidest things. Snoring, farting, and those little annoying habits like occasional tourrete's syndrome while driving do not bring on the heartache of yo' sweetie. Not even a little thing like passing out in your mother-in-law's massive cleavage should be a reason for breaking up. Hell, when J's mom grabbed my ass.......oh, never mind. We all know how that ended up, when a girlfriend's mom thinks you are hot.

Kim made an interesting point, though. She has no interest in going back out into the dating world right now. I don't blame her since it would most likely be her time to let out her frustrations by gardening nude more, basketball games that get a little rough, and more working out. Kim's.....well, interesting and I tend to bring that uptightness, you get when meeting her, away from her. My mimmicing of certain celebrities has her laughing quite hard.

We're for dogs.

Now, I just don't like it when people put up a disclaimer on the fact that they are going to discuss their pet. Hell to the no! A pet is more than a pet, folks. This is a buddy that sees you through the good and the bad, pees on the carpet, chews up your favorite socks, poops with attitude on your favorite shoes, and looks at you with lil' eyes of innocense as he/she sees you in all your naked glory as if to wonder about that giant piece of sausage and grapes hanging there are worth a nibble.

My dog, Jethro, went through surgery last year so I know how some people feel when being forced to visit the vet and see a massive bill while it's being shaved on the belly causes a really weird breeze when woken up.

Dr. Evil: "....a shaved scrotum. You, really should try it."

$3,000 is what reminds us of what happened to my little Jethro. What he had was irritable bowel syndrome and surgery was definite. My mom and I spent some nights sitting on the floor trying to force feed Jethro since he had a hard time even wanting to eat. It was after the surgery, at about 2 pounds, that he had to re-learn a desire for food. You see, before the surgery, there was little interest but even if it did, all the food would come back up.

Gawd, I keep thinking back to those before-surgery days/nights. There we were in the kitchen holding this little pile of bones to try and help him. Jethro took a long time to even walk to where he needed. You could feel just about every bone in his body.

My mom got the call on the phone about the surgery that the vet didn't know if Jethro would make it. The surgery went fine but he wasn't eating anything til about 2 days after. When Jethro came home, we sat on the floor to force feed him a high caloric substance that about 70% of the time would be thrown right back up. We got it right, eventually, because he started gaining weight and running around once again. Now, Jethro seeks my side of the table to shake me down for some corn and pizza every night.

There is nothing wrong with talking about your "lil buddy" but to drone on and on is totally different. Nobody wants to hear how your cat just crapped what looks like the Tower Of Pisa each day. It'll make you sound like the lady with over 75 cats and is very, very, very, very lonely and possibly putting an dating ad in the local paper how the guy better "like pussy."

Oh, I'm in stitches! I know I hate that word but I just cannot fathom a person not thinking of such a thing when it comes to cats and possible sex acts for the owner.

By the way, we have had some recent house burnings thanks to little old ladies only to have the firemen (Calm down, Andria) rescue 20-50 freaked out cats. Have you ever seen a freaked out cat? I have and my furniture can show you that as well.

Oh, and thanks for the responses on penis size. I'm not surprised on who responded since these girls aren't afraid to be vocal on sexual matters. It's too bad others are. I've found every girl to be a size-queen so voice it out if you've got the guts because I know there is a deep discussion on the lil' critters when girls get together. Hell, I've done an entry on what makes a great vagina along with my extra special love for them that got me a lot of attention and adoration from my female fans. Not many guys are willing to do that now are they?

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07