-"No Sleep Til Brooklyn" by The Beastie Boys

Goshdarntootin'! I am so fucking tired as of this evening. Around my arrival from my workout, I could swear that I had the urge to just curl up in one of many corners of this house and just sleep. 7:15pm is just too early for me but I have an excuse...

I tossed and turned all because I'm getting a little bit nervous. Me in Atlanta with Sara and her friends. Is this really happening? Am I going on a very big trip that could have me wanting a stormtrooper to come up and tap my lil' behind? Will I see a famous person that I would actually pay money to have his/her autograph?

Good grief! I am becoming a teency weency bit of a worry wart. I'm the type that is generally up for an adventure here and there. All those nights spent living with the boys in which we'd find ourselves in situations only college could provide, good and bad. We'd sit and reminisce about such events that would have me either cringe or laugh along. Atlanta or bust, yo.

Days til Indiana: 2 and change
Days til Atlanta: 3 and change

Although I'm a little worn out from all that tossing and turning in bed due to excitement, I really shouldn't bitch about my lack of sleep. People in New Orleans have now faced something I'd never understand due to my complete detest of living so close to the shore. Houses underwater. Stop signs flying off of their metal poles. The city's homeless of car-less having to huddle underneath the local NFL football team's dome. I've got this nagging fear that urine smelling nut fucks are going to say that New Orleans deserved all this due to so much sinning down there.

I've just stated how I don't get why people build homes so close to the shore or even on actual beaches. The constant threat of hurricanes and various events exhibiting nature's wrath would constantly worry me. Sure, it's great to just wake up and look out onto the beach right before you surf but I'm pretty sure we were not meant to build there.

I'm just sick of idiots! There was a guy that just drove his car into deep water and had to be rescued. Why should people risk their lives to help someone that stupid!?! It's nature's way of taking out the garbage. We talk all this big game about how we need to thin herds of animals in order to help us live but what about people? I'm sure there is a lot of trash that needs to go like Michael Jackson, Diddy, and Paris Hilton.

If I were to see Paris Hilton trapped in a car about to be totally submerged, I would just wave and smile as best a Hedgehoggy can! Ding-dong, the witch is gone! Paris is just an excellent example of how you can waste DNA.

Even sleepiness could not keep me away from the gym tonight. Somehow, I got hyper and was able to lift (I'm not kidding) 70 pound dumbbells in each arm for biceps. That is the shit! My whole night in there had me pumped up and laughing my ass off with a soaked Joe, whom just came out of SPIN class looking like he pee'd his shorts after someone threw water on his t-shirt. 320 pounds down to 240 is quite an accomplishment.

So, I find that Shania Twain has an alleged sex video? Interesting since like everyone else, I'm curious as to how the famous people get their uglies to bump. Saw it. The woman, bent over, only lightly looks like Shania Twain while some unknown (and clothed) guy rams a dildo up her as he sticks his thumb in her ass. Well, if this is her, I've gotta say that her videos don't do her justice with the words she puts in 'em. I just won't be able to listen to "You're Still the One" without making my own chorus:

"Looks like we made it.
Just how far you stuck it in, baby.
You're still the one I bend over for,
the only one I sucked off last night."

I don't know. You can make up your own lines to "You're Still the One" and, yes, I love that song. Shania, to me, is not country but a whole lotta pop and catchiness. Too bad, she's a snob and went to live in Sweden since she hates the paparazzi. If you're a star, you have to put up with something just like us, those that don't make that kind of money while marrying one of the ugliest dudes ever created. Mutt Lange is definitely something only a mother could love.

Ever made a sex video? Or better yet, who would you like to see in a sex video? I'd go nuts to see Bobby and Whitney only in that I bet they have the weirdest assortment of things that would have you not ever wanting to shake their hands. Angelina Jolie is a given since we all know she's got it but I'm betting she's a sub. People that assert themselves so well normally end up this way since they like to give up control temporarily.

I'm thinking...........

I'd love to see Mila Jovovich in action since I'm sure she can use all those stunts she participated in what with Resident Evil (very underrated). Keira Knightley may be my all time favorite stick of sexiness but I'm sticking with my wanting not to see too much and let her remain a mystery. Garbage's Shirley Manson would be fun to watch as she gets tossed around (I've seen her twice in concert and, boy, is she tiny!). Too bad the band, Garbage, has broken up.

I did see that Paris Hilton sex tape and I can tell you that it's so obvious she doesn't swallow. It's practically written on her forehead.

So, anyone? Who'd you like to see in a sex video? Kid Rock? Natalie Portman? Jude Law? Elizabeth Taylor? Members of The Sex Pistols? AC/DC? The Doobie Brothers? Lenny Kravitz?

Oh, well. The question could lead to so many answers since everyone has their personal favorites in wanting to see just what that dude does with his schlong. You should see how worn out I get when Sara is done with me in bed.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07