-"Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls

So, anyone know a guy out there that is willing to purchase a magazine with such topics as "The Wine, Chocolate And Cheese Diet" or "What's In Your Jewelry Box?"? Well, you definitely know that that question leads to the most obvious of all things:

HEDGIE PICKED UP A GIRLY MAG!

Yup, I do solemnly swear that I got the latest Marie Claire Magazine. Aren't y'all jealous of me getting the latest gossip on what to wear during the Fall? Is plaid still in or should those Uggs be placed back into the closet? Should a hip gal like you be hitting the beach while "surfing the crimson wave?"

*Hits self in head*

Okay, this is my second purchase of said girly mag. At least, I think so. The only one I truly remember was the YM issue that did an interview with Marky Mark way, way back. Picture a little boy just starting out in working out with all kinds of red in the face as he hands over $1.99 to purchase something that features all kinds of cute boys. All I wanted to do was read about a white boy rapper.

Come to think of it, it's a whole lot easier to purchase a magazine like "Hustler" or "Club International." Oh, hell, let's throw in "Shaved Asian" and "Big 'Uns!" No problem there in plunking down a good ol' $5.99 to see some naughty bits after handing my I.D. Not that I've ever purchased a dirty magazine, yo. It's just that I know so many guys that would rather have a copy of something XXX-Rated for the cute female clerk to ring up rather than "Teen Vogue."

So, you ready to know the reason I purchased "Marie Claire?" It really shouldn't come as a suprise since Keira Knightley is on the cover. Those precious eyes looking at me got my attention right away. Hell, I was on my way out and just happened to glance at the covers stacked on the bookstore's magazine shelving cart. Red faced, I hauled ass to the car to look. A person walking by would have thought I bought porn considering my having to thumb through to the correct page (p.116).

Now, don't you feel better? I'm not ashamed to admit that there will always be some point in time that I, Hedgehoggy, will have to purchase a magazine containing what seems like thousands of tampon ads mixed with "diet blunders." At least I can learn to better hide my cleavage with a large sleeveless sweater and feel okay to walk down the street with a purse. Fanny packs will never come back in style.

FYI: That's a tip, y'all.

A big shout out to Entertainment Weekly for their article on "Where Are They Now?" I just wish they had picked better people. Patrick Swayze is still in the spotlight, here and there. Lacey Chalbert was in Not Another Teen Movie. Who gives a fuck about Coolio? Hoar's love of her life, Urkel, had his pants hiked up hotness to cause women a tear or two. It's just that most of these people still have their mugs around. C'mon, do some real people that we wanna know about. Courtney Love is just itchin' to show herself picking a wedgie out while in rehab. Oops, that's already happened.

I nearly cried when Patrick Swayze mentioned his not wanting to be in the Roadhous sequel. How could you!?! That movie was only so precious to me because of Patrick and his shirtless kung fu bouncer that was somehow able to lift a woman up to fuck her against the wall. You've seen Patrick. There is no way he could do that in real life but it does help with kinky ideas.

FYI: Another reason I hate this world and it's all thanks to CNN. The average salary made by a CEO is $12 million while the average worker takes home $27,000. If the average worker's income rose the way CEOs' do, they'd take home just over $100,000. That is completely ridiculous and can be seen in these tough times with airlines. The CEOs think that airline crews should have their pay cut to keep the airlines alive but not even think of cutting their own.

Days til Indiana: 1 and change
Days til Atlanta: 2 and change

Oh, it's life at it's most drama filled pathetic neediness. I've been feeling shitty but not in a sickly way. You can't help but feel for people in New Orleans while it's estimated at being 80% underwater. Can you imagine that!?! I've never been there but Bald-O has, only to come back and tell me that there are so many strip joints. For him, vacations are where strippers inhabit. Reality took a new form when Bald-O ended up at a gay one and his buddy talked to guy in drag that he thought was a "hot chick."

See? I've got issues with girly magazines and my boys have trouble telling the difference between male and females.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07