-Me

Each night, I feel like I am a father. It's at the point that I have to take out 5 Yorkshire Terriers to potty and end up a wee bit tired. None of them can go together due to past rivalries or disagreements that just cannot be forgotten. Girls can be so territorial or bossy. Ellie-Mae is the territorial one. Buffy is the bossy one while Bonnie is just a bit of both but looks like she's on steroids. Jethro has decided to hoard all chew bones for himself since the bitches are driving him nuts.

Good news comes to me differently that you, hopefully. I swear that when I heard "Calvin & Hobbes" was being reprinted in the local newspaper, I got all teary-eyed. Nobody explained life better than Calvin, a genius at such a young age that just so happened to own a stuffed tiger with fuzzy qualities.

Editor: "Namely, those "fuzzy" qualities happened when Hobbes just came out of the dryer."

For me, "Calvin & Hobbes" showcased both sides of my personality, the obnoxious and the logically sane portions. Most people I meet were one or the other but I can honestly tell you that I was both Calvin and Hobbes. Yes, I can still remember reading the first comic strip that debuted along with my sincere love of wanting each book of collected strips. On rainy days, I could read "Calvin & Hobbes" forever.

So, to all you "Calvin & Hobbes" lovers out there, on October 4th, there will be a humongous book that collects every strip ever made (250,000 print run for the special first edition). This includes a new introduction by Bill Watterson and a fond look back at the beauty held within a little comic strip that could do what no other could, hold an 8-year-old's hand and not let go since he still believes in keeping a childlike wink in the eye. That's me and how I see things.

Speaking of books, if you love cats, get "Bad Cat" as found in the humor section in Barnes N Noble. This is one hell of a collection of cats that are definitely........bad. You could swear that some are stoned on weed after a visit from reindeer. My mom was laughing her ass off at the pictures and has at least 15 marked in which she insists everyone see them. Get "Bad Cat!"

So, my mother just politely informed me that I have a scar on my lower back. I had to tell her that I "backed up into something hard" when that quote is only half truthful. You see, Sara had me shave her in the bathtub and I accidently raised up while under the faucet only to have it hit me........hard, real hard. Nasty cut. Sara didn't even know til she saw my back once we were drying off. Pain is only temporary.

Could we chalk my latest scar as another one of life's little marks from having a girlfriend that enjoys biting, scratching, and the occasional spanking (Oh, she smacks hard, folks!) that has my eyes widen at the sharp pain of tiny hands? Boys do not necessarily have the bottoms made of steel as myths would have you think since mine tends to get all sexily cherry.

Let's see, I've got a nasty scratch on my lower back, been scratched all over, bitten, spanked til my little butt turns red, and we're gonna add the lower lip problem where Sara's head accidently smacked into my jaw while dancing a happy dance. Drops of blood are at a reststop in Kentucky. Just look on the sidewalk near the vending machines.

So, Atlanta? Fun! I'll admit to the dreading of 12 hours in a stuffed car but I did somehow muster the talent of being able to sleep in short spurts with my head straight down while getting the occasional kick from the dude behind me. 5 people in a Chevrolet Cavalier is, well, interesting. Good thing I was completely groggy after the first reststop since it made it a whole lot easier for Sara to sleep on my right shoulder once a new seating arrangement was had.

The states I distinctly remember going through are Tennessee and Kentucky. Once you see the mist over the mountains, you'll wonder if Frodo really will find his way to Mordor..........oh, I'm getting all geeky on ya. Let's just say that the scenery over the mountains was absolutely gorgeous and had me wishing for a stop at the Smoky Mountains for a quick sight-see.

Late-nights are not for me as they once were. I've paid my dues of talking to Bald-O til 3am in college and still went to my 8am class but I pretty much zonked out on the 12 hour drive that started around midnight. That's why I don't remember much on the other states. Reststops were my way of knowing where we were since a guy always wants to know what place he pees at. Penises were designed in marking territory so my pee belongs to Tennessee!

I'm getting requests from my friends in the gym. Gay Nick wants to see pictures on Monday while Kim is also on this. I know for a fact that the sight of a rather fat Batman will dampen Gay Nick's spirits on wanting to know what Batman's utility belt is holding up. It's all in good fun since the 60's Batman was also rather chunky. Adam West can't hold a candle to Christian Bale's Batman.

Tomorrow will be spent in Wal-Mart getting pics developed and catching up with various things like thanking all those that sent me birthday wishes, etc. Good gravy! Within 10 minutes of my last entry, 6 people from my buddy list had read me. It's like y'all just cannot wait til I put up an entry or the worries of whether I made it back had you at odds. Then again, it could just be my weird writings of a boy gone mad but goes down with fightin' words!

I'll discuss what happened in Atlanta, dachsunds gone mad with toothbrush, a Playboy Playmate, Hedgie meets a supermodel (Don't believe me? Got my picture taken with her so neener neener!), and celebrities. Can someone give me a little insight on posting pictures?

*If the entry is locked, I have posted pictures and will only allow access to those I trust. This won't be til later on but just a warning since you definitely don't want to miss what I have to develop at Wal-Mart.*

So, I bid adieu to all and hope this entry will suffice for now. I've got a few more things to catch up on like my newest issue of Playboy and making it up to my little dog, Buffy, who missed me like mad. Mom told me the little muppet moped all throughout the week I was gone. The things I do for my girls, huh? G'night and may you fall asleep reading some "Calvin & Hobbes" with a smile on your face.

- - 2009-07-07

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