-The Phantom Tollbooth

Somehow, I wish Tock would come visit me for a pep talk. Due to my inner moping all over the house and even on occasion in the gym, I've settled down into a long form of feeling all sad n' shit.

I'm pretty sure I was supposed to be a girl. Yeah, it does make sense since I tend to *ahem* share my feelings but also because I drowned a little of my feeling sorry for myself with some ice cream, butter pecan drowned in caramel. Just the perfect thing to eat after a good workout, huh?

I'm not sure what brought out this little bout of sadness. Just a few minutes ago, I was sitting outside on the deck with Bonnie, one of the Yorkshire Terriers, the steroid version. A part of me was wishing Sara could be around to talk with in bed and then smack me silly to wake me up in a better mood. Come to think of it, I thought of ice cream and Sara so I got 50% of my wish.

Weird, huh? Moping just sucks because it causes me to eat things I normally don't eat as much, oatmeal pies with cream or things dipped in caramel. None of these did any good.

Well, I'm not one to sit around feeling sorry for myself, ya know. I did get the highlight of having to carry the long lock breaker. Never seen one? Looks like a giant wrench but a hell of a lot heavier. Guess who left his keys in the locker after locking it at the gym?

Yup, the walk of shame for me is to head on into the men's locker room to bust open the locker I was using all due to my stupidity. It's fun to watch as half-naked men take the time to view me shattering another lock, my third one, so I must not be learning anything here, folks. Dummies keep commiting the same problem when it comes to history. I pay for it in locks.

That reminds me of another walk of shame I had to face. Back in private Catholic school, one of the nuns didn't like the fact that people kept losing the pass. I'm serious for it was gone! Every new pass went missing as well so the nun came up with the most vile of schemes to teach us a lesson.

A log. We carried a fucking log to piss with. Well, it was actually a long piece of wood that had our room number, etc. but it was big, yo. People in other classrooms would laugh as I would walk down the hall carrying this monstorous piece of wood over my shoulders. You sure as hell don't forget that type of thing when peeing. I'm not sure how the girls dealt with the log as they went but I had to stand there at the urinal next to that sweet piece of wood. It's amazing that no fights broke out in the boys' bathroom since us 7th Graders were made fun of for it.

Not much has pep'd me up since my workout. Even Gay Nick's telling me what guy in the gym was hot enough that he'd do didn't make me laugh. No Battlestar Galactica (1978) could bring me out of this funk as well but it tried so hard. Maybe I need my own fast ship with a computer that could talk to me on long flights. Starbuck's was named "C.O.R.A."

So, I'm just trying to let out that I'm a bit down in the dumps. No articles on Keira Knightley since I ever so silently checked all the girly mags after my workout. Oh, but Johnny Depp looks so cool on the 21 Jump Street Season 3 Box Set! Gawd, I miss having hair like that but I didn't have someone to work on it for me after each time I entered a room to be honored by my messed up presence. See? I'm behaving all girly and I regret that ice cream since it's gonna do horrors to my body after I did my fair amount of sit-ups.

Gawd, I wanna go back to work soon but I have to wait a week or 2. My mind tends to wander too much but, then again, I'll be complaining about work in no time. As long as I'm dreaming, I'd really like my own pirate ship and a shit-load of rum with a beer bong to guzzle it. Makes those horrible memories of carrying a log to pee with better. Also makes me wonder if someone lodged it up against the door so a poor little 5th Grader couldn't get out of the stall.

- - 2009-07-07

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