-Me

I love my dogs, all 5 little Yorkshire Terriers, to death. They bring so much craziness to help end any type of quiet thanks to this breed being so noisy, but then again, all terriers are that way. Today was a little different......

Babysitting duties. That's what I had for 4 of my dogs since my little tyke, Buffy, went with my parents down south to see my grandma. Buffy is my grandma's dog so it's only right that she goes to see her mom every now and then that had to give up thanks to alzheimer's.

A major part of why I am here instead of in a place of my own has to do with this. I have to be here at a moment's notice in case my mom has to leave for the south to see her mother. I'm certainly no complainer as my mom and I are pretty much like best friends. Really. Somewhere around the age of 17, I pretty much got to do anything since I was so level-headed. That night my mom stood at the top of the stairs after I came home completely drunk didn't change a thing. Boys need to celebrate at some point.

So, it was me with 4 Yorkies that don't exactly get along. Bonnie and Clyde do not like Jethro and Ellie-Mae ("Hoss"). Shifts have to be taken so I'll have Ellie-Mae out with Jethro for some time while the other 2 will be out later. It's just not in me to have them in kennels all day so the house becomes a major rompous room, unlike when Mom is home. When Clyde likes to lounge, he likes to LOUNGE, dammit!

Food is a huge pain in the ass since Bonnie and Clyde will go completely psycho over it. I didn't know that my mom left some in the bowl earlier as a huge noise erupted from the room. Doggie bites were all over the place as Clyde had his legs spread to keep Bonnie out while he ate. Little shit. Of course, I evened things up but it was quite a sight to see how much chaos they can get into before the first 5 minutes happen.

Babysitting 4 Yorkies is pretty easy once the food situation is settled. We'll all lay back on my parents' bed and watch the big screen TV as tummies are scratched. That's the way Clyde likes it as my other hand is holding a large chew stick for Bonnie. This is an excellent time to watch football and see how much I have forgotten. I'm completely clueless over players after being out of the game for so many years but it helps settle the mood when you have 2 dogs in bed with you. One has a large set of balls that look like darkened grapes.

Yes, I will agree with Sara that I have a large infatuation with Keira Knightley, the lovely woman of such films as The Hole, Star Wars: Episode I, Pirates Of the Carribean, and now Pride And Prejudice. She's just the loveliest of women to look at with those large eyes and pouty look all while not being afraid to give the finger to Hollywood's need to saturate the world's belief that blonde and big boobs are where it's at.

Well, I'm surprised no one told me that Keira Knightley is on the cover of the newest issue of Esquire. Not one peep but that is not an issue with me for I got myself a copy. What I was quite shocked about was that Keira unveiled her right breast. Lovely cup size since I am just not a fan of large breasts. With J, I got so lost as to what to do with hers, the biggest I ever was allowed to play with but we are not talking about the strippers at Mark's bachelor party that had the audacity to get me half-naked and up on the stage to sit on my face and tell me I had an incredible body. No, no, no.

It's interesting to me that in the interview, Keira states that she would never show her ass on screen but there are no problems with revealing her breasts. Interesting. I've been one guy to state that I wish women were allowed to walk around topless without being arrested over the exposure of a mammary gland. I've seen men with bigger tits mowing lawns but 5-O doesn't come unless donuts are involved.

It's just strange to me that women have so much trouble with showing their asses. Mine is not an issue in that I rarely see it so I just don't give a fuck. I'm not sure what Sara thinks of it but she sure as hell likes to smack it. Yes, I am a total assman and have no real care in breasts except to play on occasion or to hold them when my arms are wrapped around her.

Question of the day: Just what did Renee mean in saying that her marriage to Kenney Chesney was a "sham?" Anyone? Bueller?

While watching football and passing through channels, I got the thought of wishing back to the days of when fashion was all over the place. Remember those days? CNN had Elsa Klensch. VH1 had Fashion Television. MTV had House Of Style. E! had a bunch of cool shows that just so happened to show a lot of nipples.

We called watching fashion shows: "Nipple Watch" because of seeing so many as models wore see-thru shirts or practically nothing. It was just a time of odd innocense since all I was hoping for was more teeny-tiny bikinis or Helena Christiansen and Christy Turlington, my favorite models.

Now, there are hardly any supermodels which is fine in some ways. Giselle is cool in her own way but not as interesting as Namoi's need to beat her assistants or Cindy Crawford's possibility of being a lesbian. Damn, even Richard Gere, her ex-husband, had to take out a full page ad to announce that they were completely heterosexual and that no gerbils were inserted up his butt by aliens..............again.

I'm weird on style. While I do the cargo shorts, various Air Jordans (so many colors) and retro t-shirt thing pretty much all summer, I change a little to a nicer look in the winter. I've got a fine amount of button downs and for when I feel manly............football jerseys. Trust me. I love how girls look in a football jersey and nothing else.

Sara and I went to Hot Topic on my last visit to Indiana. I'm still thinking of those skirts and high boots that so look good on her. As conservative as I dress, I love the goth look on girls. Weird? It could just be my love of those that don't resort to our society's conformity. Did I tell you that I have never shopped at the Gap?

A nice little plaid skirt and high black boots with an abundance of buckles would drive me wild as worn by Sara. As for a top? Not sure but I'm definitely in the know that she has a way of surprising me in fun ways. Of course, Sara can wear my football jerseys as they are extremely comfortable and huge. Not sure if she will but she tends to enjoy wearing everything else.

So, I miss fashion and hate how bland things tend to be lately. Hot Topic is nice but I don't see a lot of people wearing that type of stuff unless it's late at night. Why not during the day? Don't goth people actually enjoy a little sunlight because I've only seen a full-on goth girl once, in Target with her mother. Gorgeous red hair and impressively striped stockings. Yes, I have a hard-on for high stockings.

And what of the fashion houses? Calvin Klein is still around and strong but I miss that fuck-you he had towards the world and to enjoy sexuality. Add Giavanni Versace and how it's gone downhill thanks to Donatella's takeover in the worst way. Those flashy threads were so bold and not my type of thing but fun to watch on the runway. Valentino is quite a conservative in men's wear but the dresses on women are stunning! Of course, we cannot leave without Georgio Armani and his tendency to make the best suits and pants. Can you believe that these guys could all disappear at once due to their timing in appearances?

Well, that's enough fashion education for y'all as we wonder for what name Britney Spears has for her new baby boy. I'm sure "Shithead" has been thrown around as Kevin heard that everyday of his life from his hick parents. Britney didn't fling the little pooper out her vagina as I'm guessing this keeps Kevin happy. His ex just kept shooting kids out of there and poor Kevin probably felt like his dick was being lodged into a barrel opening. G'night.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07