*Answer on bottom*

I don't know what to tell you. I'm here after sitting down on my bed and watching Anton Corbijin's DVD of music videos. It was the complete flashback of seeing U2's "One" that has the song playing in my head as I type this. Funny thing is that I never liked the song when I first heard or saw the music video which was quite some time ago. We are, after all, being faced with a crisis in which all women are half naked and running around pouring large amounts of alcohol on themselves or am I watching too much BET again?

"To drag the past out into the light.
We're one, but we're not the same."

The whole video of U2's "One" is quite simple in seeing 2 people drive around with both female and male anatomies on top of the cars only to end up in a crash at the end. Of course, there is the controversial portion of seeing members of U2 in drag but as they were checking out in Target, I'm sure the checker just casually mentions:

"Bono, these panties are just too small for you."

But it's a sweet, sweet song that we see in the video directed by Anton Corbijin, whom uses a lot of black and white. Why we don't see these types of things much I'll never know. Bono wasn't being all "I am the messiah" by wearing those enormously stupid shades but singing into a mic. Simplicity. Why can't we go back to it?

We're not supposed to outlive our friends, right? I'd like to think so as I get a call from Bald-O about 2 hours ago. His health isn't much as he's been through that possible heart attack over the summer and now a breakout of red spots after trying to deal with his sinus infection. I've told about my worries that Bald-O's not taking care of himself to the point that I'm going to lose him.

Why? Why do I pick these people!?! Everyone leaves me. I'm not joking here. Newman is gone from alcoholism. MR is lost in his religious wonderland and too insane for me to deal with. Now, Bald-O doesn't get it in his head to stop the extreme drinking, smoking, and eating. It's just me here wondering if I curse myself by becoming such close friends with those that have a death wish.

If I had 1 wish, I would have us all go back to being 10 or somewhere that we all had our greatest times in childhood. That way, we'd see the good of innocense and not try so hard to fuck our lives up and worry others. I'd give anything to go back to being 8,9, or 10. My first kiss would be a whole lot different since I'd totally shock Veronica with some major tongue action.

Editor: "Yes, Hedgehoggy seems to enjoy the assertive women, those that just so happen to kick him in the side while on the ground during a game of soccer. What a woman Veronica was!"

I've kept it in a little bit that I came so close to having a car accident about 2 or 3 days ago. A rich older woman came within inches of smashing into my side of the car, right at the door. I'd most likely not be able to move my legs out since that is where her hood was going into. Damn, I so remember my mouth opening as I watched her car come so close to me. I was so mad that if it happened, I'm not sure what I'd do because this rich older woman was such a fuck to not even look to her right.

I don't know how to say all this but I'm just kind of lost right now. That song by U2 is playing softly in my head and I'm sensitive to how my belief that I'm outliving my friends seems to be coming true. There was no way to even think that this guy with a shaved head and a grin for mischief knocking on my dorm room's door would end up my best friend. The girls down the hall said it best:

"When Bald-O's there, you are, too, so we know you guys are up to something."

Some of me is kind of cheery due to emails back and forth with various people. Others I haven't heard from in such a long time so I just shrug that with self esteem this low, I'm not worth the time for now. If I make your day go better with each entry, I'm happy since I'm always putting myself up there to throw darts at. Slow-Poke has had me laughing with her wit of singing about her hoodie. I'd love to wake up to a cool Fall day with my hoodie and walk around with Sara as she puts her arms around me.

Well, for whatever's it worth, I'm quite close to putting up that entry. You know me for I love oral sex and just so happen to enjoy seeing how much it pleases her. Isn't that what good sex is all about? Becoming one and enjoying the human body? Those religious fucks that can't seem to understand this while they bitch about New Orleans deserving these hurricanes are repressed idiots in their pee-stained pants. I wouldn't be surprised that behind those massive doors lies more loveless sex than an R. Kelly home video. Who checks I.D.'s? G'night.

- - 2009-07-07

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