Fortune Favors the Bold! I bring great big balls of glory! The Captain's Log
"Oooh, she got freckles!"

-Old Calvin Klein commercial with Marky Mark and Kate Moss (I'm actually wearing the old t-shirt with all the quotes)

Can I get a "What up?" from all the ladies holding it down in the bedroom? You know what I'm talking about, where you send your man home after an amazing blowjob that had his legs almost in seizures as he came. That smile on your lips after you swallowed each drop of his cum would have you forever a queen of your bedroom.

Can I get a "Hoo-rah!" from the fellas that know how to please your ladies in the most sensitive of all places on her body? All of you are the types that women will wink at since you have that essence of sex because you aren't afraid to tell everyone that you love to drink from a woman's most private waterfalls. You know I aint talking about Niagra, as all the clueless men with no desire to treat their ladies as the queens they deserve to be as they demand to have their cocks sucked while playing video games. A real man knows his lover's vagina and doesn't degrade by telling her how wonderful she tastes and smells down there.

Okay, I'll come out and just say it. I love to go down on women. Didn't quite get that? I'm a total vagina-fiend in that I love tasting a woman and making her relax on her back or face-down-ass-up as I explore that most sensitive area I've ever encountered. Thost screams, moans, and all that thrashing about only helps me drink from her deeper.

What makes a man the type to lick a girl to oblivion? Most likely, in my humblest of opinions, one that truly loves women. I'm not shy in admitting that I once studied the vagina in books, magazines and anything I could get my little 5th-12th Grade hands on. Just reading about where her most sensitive spots are can be quite a turn on. Homework was a hard-on in those days.

Mainly, my biggest question was what the vagina's scent since I had heard back and forth that it was "awful" or "smells like fish." You see, I'm pretty sensitive in the nose area and would like this question answered if I am going to be diving.

Copper and a small mixture of that smell we get in the grocery store while walking by the lobster tanks. In other words, it's "marine" in some ways but still quite different. Almost every girl I've gone down on has a very similar scent but also a tiny bit to make her unique. It's not something you'd bottle and call "Ode De Wet Twat" but it's nice enough to enjoy.

The second question is what the taste is. This was easily answered when you learn that a woman's brain triggers her body to be ready for sex by causing water vessels to burst. Wetness. Simple as that and with the word "water" in there, you know that there's isn't going to be much of taste. That comes from the vagina's lips or labia majora. Again, the obvious is upon me in stating that since it is skin that I am licking, saltiness abounds.

So, I love the saltiness of the vagina's lips and the scent that we all know is quite private. Why guys sit around and talk shit behind their girlfriend's backs about this is completely stupid. Trust me, girls. Guys don't seem to bring up their smelly balls but they will go off on your yum-yums.

Why do we do it? Why do I love to take a perfectly good cunt and taste it? Simple. I am a pleaser and I just cannot fathom a sexual encounter without hearing a girl moan and scream as I bring her to exctasy. The more this occurs, the more I get into it by doing my best to drain her with my tongue and fingers. That would explain why beds with me become a complete disastor area when my head is down between her legs.

I am no expert at orally seducing women. In fact, the first girl I ever went down on to completion was J. Prior to that, I had gone down on many others but only to a point where I'd then insert my cock. It was pure selfishness in only that I was curious as to each girl's scent and the fact that I love looking at her hot wet cunt. What can I say? I'm a complete vagina man and proud.

Now, I was taught well so bear with me on this. I know the clear signs as to when a woman is nearing an orgasm or is having the time of her life with my head between her legs. That extra glistening that forms on her labia is a major clue along with its change in color, some go to a deeper red. The breathing changes and her back arches with soft moans. My absolute favorite is the "sex rash" where a wave of red travels up from right above the pubic hair up to the chest.

As I said, I am a vagina man for I love how gorgeous it is. Truly beauty that many men have failed to grasp when they only see it as a toy or someplace to stick their dicks in. Pity. When I go down on a girl, I love to look at it, lick it, taste it, play with those sensitive lips, and suck here and there. If I were to find your clitoris ("Pink Eye") with ease, I'll suck it for every drop you're worth.

It always starts the same, a heavy makeout session in which my hands will be down your panties feeling you up slowly. Only when I feel you are wet enough after testing the wetness slipping down those pink lips will I insert my fingers. Once you are at my mercy by the fact that your panties are now either on the floor or you've decided to place them on my head, the wicked grin appears.

Yours. It's your wicked grin that starts the whole show after I've kissed you deeply and whispered how badly I want to taste you. Of course, my fingers will most likely still be in you finding that "spot" that allows you to soak them. As my head slowly goes downward, that wicked grin forms into a sly smile. The show only begins once you spread your legs. Won't you stay a while?

From all that I've learned, every girl is different in how she wishes to be gone down on. That's not surprising since the vagina is far more complicated than a penis. We guys either like to be stroked fast or slow. Vaginas are either licked straight, side to side, smooth, hard, and so on. Sometimes, clitorises are harder to find than others. It's here that I put my faith in my tongue to wedge its way between those lips. Yes, I know the female anatomy but every vagina is different. Treat it as such.

Now, I prefer for her to lay on her back because it is the easiest. Here, I can just put all my energy into my tongue, arms while using my fingers, and nose to memorize her scent. You know that there are pheromones down there, yo?

Why did it take me so long to go down on a girl to completion? College is full of too many things going on with little time along with small dorms and girls that drink too much beer tend to smell of pee. Don't you just love the honesty I bring? Plus, some are so absolutely freaked out about my going down on them because they worry far too much about the way they smell down there. You'd think that college is about exploring your sexuality but I've seen more along the lines of repression.

There's also my frustration in reading so many letters from ladies talking about how men just do not know how to go down on them. My worry is that I just couldn't do it all the way even if I was so close.

But I still licked and had fun. It's always a great thrill to go down on a girl that has an absolute love of sex. What's even better is knowing the most quiet of girls can be knock me back completely by telling me to "eat her out from behind" after music classes.

When I was living with Bald-O and the crew, The Boys of Company C, I made the mistake of getting drunk one night with all of them and blurting out how much I love going down on girls. It was like a needle scratched as the whole room got silent. Looks of disgust were on every guy's face as these words were then told:

-It smells.

-It's gross.

-It's unclean.

I could go on but somehow word got out on our floor on what I said. Girls stood up for me and I'd be winked at. I'm guessing that they knew how to back a true vagina man while the guys would talk about receiving blowjobs (I'm sure many were lies but.....) as if that's all that mattered. M, a girl down the hall, found out and we ended up spending late, late nights on the couch of her dorm's living room doing things your mother wouldn't tell you about. When you really get into pleasuring a girl, she'll work hard at making sure you get super duper treatment.

This is not to say that I orally seduce all the time. There are moments where I am tired, especially when my body is no longer designed for late night schenanigans. It's me that finds it a nice to thing to set a time before actual sleep to throw the covers back, yank off her panties, and drink from her. Makes sleeping a whole lot easier, when orgasms are had.

Not to sound like a wet blanket but sometimes the vagina does smell a little bit too ripe. This isn't totally a girl's fault but just in the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of sweat pores down there. This isn't even a big deal but gives you the excuse to shower together.

Boys aren't iron-clad from being smelly down there as well. I'm sure you girls have a voice on this as I'd never want a girl to go down on me after I've made a major run on the treadmill unless she absolutely wants to. We boys are just lucky that our genitals aren't located too far inward as this makes the area more sweaty. Yes, our balls do stick on occasion.

If you are a guy reading this, put in some major effort on pleasing the girl orally. Know her anatomy and do your best to memorize her hot spots all while changing things around every now and then to keep making her toes curl. When she gets the idea that you absolutely love to pleasure her, it'll be a complete joy to her as your cock becomes a feast as it drips with her saliva. There is just something about an orgasmically crazy girl that makes it her mission to cause your cum to burst out.

I know because I received the most amazing blowjob right before I left Indiana that had my legs twitch as I drove home. No one has ever done anything close to what I had received.

With everything that is wonderful, there will always be the little things that get in the way of going down on girls. Sometimes, I have to fight with a girl that is lost in or close to climax. She'll thrash around so much or close her legs with her head in between. My tongue can get worn down as I try to match her needs in speed or pressure applied. These issues are very small so don't fret on them.

I've mentioned this before so I'll do it again anyway. There was a giant photo enlarged as a poster that I saw. On it was a woman completely nude but only her chin was viewable as you see the back of a man's head in between her legs. It's obvious she is lost in such an orgasm in this black and white photo. I've always loved this and would love to have it in my future living room where the coffee table will have "The History Of Playboy Magazine."

Oral sex is such a passionate gift as stated in the Wiccan philosophy. Drinking each other's orgasm is seen as a beautiful thing as each orgasm is gift to the gods that take in the sights. Doesn't that sound so much better than Christianity and how degrading we are supposed to feel after sex? How about the completely level look in which a woman's vaginal juices are viewed as great as a man's semen? The bible is so full of shit in seeing women as not being worth the time, seductresses with evil intent or as prostitutes but men are perfect no matter how many they kill and harm.

So, go ahead and make fun of me that I enjoy licking the vagina. I've taken a lot of shit from my boys as well as society's seeing me as "whipped" all because I can turn off ESPN and find myself licking a majorly salty find. My gain is the little wink I get as I'm sure the scent of a true vagina man has made his way into her presence. So, what do you think about what I've just said? I'm curious as to any feedback if you aren't too shy on letting it out. Plus, I'm wondering whether I missed anything. A kiss to Sara, as vocal as she is. I miss sleeping next to her. G'night. 0 Got Balls?

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07




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