-Veronica Mars's Theme Song

Well, we all know the big news of Tom Cruise finally gettin' the ol' in n' out with Katie Holmes thanks to her being preggers. Wonder how many times he had to think of that centerfold in Playgirl as a midget with a mustache fingered his bum. Am I the only one that wonders such things?

That's not the big news. You see, thanks to my finding the uber cool blog of a gay guy with a serious fetish for knowing what it going on in the world of celebrities I'll share it with you. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are going to announce their divorce later this month. However, Us Weekly got a hold of the inside info and will have it on newsstands this Friday.

It's amusing, the power of the Internet. While Jessica Simpson has done her best to keep it out of the news (oh, by showing up time after time without her ring, I might add), it's interesting how celebrities try to milk whatever publicity they can get for themselves. How many interviews will we have to see as Jessica keeps going about how much she cries at night for Nick.

Example: Playing the role of victim on Oprah just as Jennifer Aniston does while Brad Pitt says, "Oh, fuck it! let's ride motorcycles, Angelina!"

For me, I don't know the public's interest in celebrities with nothing we'd call wit. From Paris Hilton's telling that she dumped her boyfriend because she doesn't want to lose her "career" to Nick Cage's desire to name his baby, Ka-El. Of course, you should know that Ka-El is Superman's real name. Then again, you're probably not a comic book geek that sees this as an abuse of power.

I'm sure Nick Lachey's response will be "Fuck, I'm glad that woman is gone! $700 for a pair of panties!?!" I'm just wondering how he's going to keep his income since 98 Degrees just isn't as popular anymore.

What I've never understood was men's interests in girls that are completely stupid yet beautiful. To me, it's got to be about that fire inside to continue learning rather than debating whether the word "cat" can possibly spell "dog" after 16 beers. I need fire in the large brimstone building we call a woman's brain not a little hamster puttering about while shooting pebbles out of its butt.

But I so love to know celebrity gossip before everyone else. That blogger I follow and laugh with has friends inside Us Weekly so I even got to see a sneak preview copy of the new issue all while learning that Lindsay Lohan's car crash had some hidden things. She ran from her car to possibly hide something before getting back in to talk to the police. Naughty, naughty! Looks like that guy's finding coke in your dropped wallet could actually be a true thing as shown on the Internet.

*The TV show, Veronica Mars, is getting even better! How the hell is that even possible!?! Me being so infatuated with a TV show is the complete shit because I love a show that involves a major mystery all while having a powerful lead female that keeps getting stronger. Veronica loses her virginity, has her name end up on a dead man's hand, taunts the local sherrif, and boldly stands up to conformity while her ex-boyfriend is fucking around. Tell me again why Lost is so much better, again.*

Well, I might have a date to the Dave Matthews concert since Sara has no interest in attending. Even Gay Nick gave me the gag reflex over Dave's music. It's still up in the air all due to work, life, etc. You know how it is. Plans can change and then things get chaotic. Pity to work and let life pass you by.

Joe, my gigantic mischief maker and ex-college football player, wants to see Dave Matthews for a second time. His memory of this guy jamming at his best even had me mimic a little air guitar in the gym that got me a few looks of worry. Apparently, after the age of 16, thou must not do so along with these things:

-Drawing boobies on paper
-Making "airplane noises" while eating
-Not liking Paris Hilton because she is dumb
-Hating Baywatch
-Laugh at friends that continue to hump trees. Apparently, it's a "boy thing."

Oh, I could go on but I'm a complete rebel with a very odd personality so I shall always make airplane noises and continue in hating Paris Hilton. Just don't make fun of my Mickey Mouse watch and we'll be cool.

So, work today? No tampons! High-five me, bee-yotches! I'm one of the few boys that had to touch not 1 but 3 yet lived to tell about this tragic event, yesterday. I've got to look up info on seeing if I'm still in on being cool n' all since I'm thinking that the latest craze is drive-by tampon tossing. Kids these days come up with the freakiest things when left with too much time on their hands.

However, I am left with these things:

-I twisted my left knee while going through aisles.

-12 hours of sleep in the last 3 days but I feel fine. Seriously, yo. My dog licks my nose when I pass out longer than an hour.

-No Crotch Rot today but tomorrow I will have to sit across from her giant moon shaped face as she eats her Twinkies. I'm dying to see her salivate if I bring a giant bag of Cheetos.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07