-The Goonies

Ah, another night in which I am about to attempt a slumber only to awaken to the alarm telling me that work is in less than 2 hours. Don't you just love the anticipation of selling your body and possibly your soul to work? Half your day is gone while having to stand there as a disillusioned boss attempts some form of ordering you around since it makes him feel so superior. Put on a smiley face because work is, like, totally awesome!

Batttle wounds from work:

-Sore, very sore hamstrings
-Twisted left knee
-I slept more last night than in a long time but not quite as good as I hoped.

Things found in parking lot:

-One condom wrapper, a Magnum so somebody out there was packing a major package for his female friend. Wonder if the words, "My, that is a very large penis! I've so got to touch it!" ever happened. I know how y'all get when viewing yo' boy naked for the first time.

But who wants to hear about work. Life is also about sharing topics and attempting to show how fucked up your mind is and mine is.......well.....pretty damn down there in the depths of filth. You know me since I love vaginas sloppy wet with a wicked smile on the owner's lovely face.

What I was shocked to learn is that 2 kindergarteners were caught performing oral sex on each other in the school's restroom. Mind you, this event was transpired by 2 males, kids giving each other head. Shocked? The school's restrooms are now occasionally looked into by adults since you know how things like oral sex spread throughout a school.

I just do not get it. How the hell have we gotten to the point that the tiniest of kids are now either sexually curious or full-on going at it like bunnies without a thought to what they are doing!?! Of course, we expect things like this out of teenagers later on but kindergarteners and 8 year old girls getting pregnant?

My first dabbling in sexuality took a list of events that eventually led me to a complete desire for it even if I did not believe in premarital sex til I was deflowered by the lovely Kristan. Going from kind of shy little boy that kissed many girls to a sexually charged predator in a bed full of sweat and cum was quite a change. In other words, I went from the little leagues and into a major big league trade that ends in the World Series.

I'm not shy about sex. Not one bit. I can tell you anything and everything that I've learned and enjoy. From my love and deep fascination of how it feels to sink my fingers deep into the vagina to seeing my cum licked as it drips out of my cock. There's no better way to say it since I just don't beat around with words that don't do a love of sex justice. Good gawd, folks, sex is great when kinky and a delicious sport to show your lover what you've got.

However, at kindergarten, I had very little sexual thinking. My time was spent pretty innocent even though I did get a few laughs at pictures of naked statues in the old World War 2 books from our Catholic school's library. Amazing how weapons and their origins were okay but anything relating to penises or vaginas was as forbidden as OJ at a battered wives meeting.

However, I did see my first vagina in 1st Grade. Little Margaret joined Peter Weiner (We gave him this nickname) under the table during room recess. While giggling over penises on the statues, Margaret told us she doesn't have one. Up went the dress and down came the panties. In came the hand of the teacher to give the girl a good scolding (and possibly to call her a "whore" since you know how nuns were) about exposing herself to boys too early.

But still.........

I had no interest in sex even if Margaret's hoo-ha made an appearance. For one thing, I'm sure I was confused as to why there was nothing there since that little drawing of a naked girl on the school's fence clearly stated that there was a "triangle" of some sort.

The whole discovery of sex goes in stages:

1. Boobies! Oh, give me those sweet hooters of jiggling goodness. Movies with them were a hit since we didn't know why we loved 'em but we did. The "N" labeled in the HBO guidebook clearly states that there will be nudity so boobies were definitely a 90% rate of showing.

2. Believe it or not, the vagina became a major curiousity faster for me than others. It was Dad's Playboy that got my attention as it lay there on his desk. Looking for my Star Wars fanclub decals, I stumbled upon the wonders of a small mass of hair in a place I didn't quite understand. Just why would a woman lift up her dress to be photographed with no underwear on? Confused? Me, of course! My dick sure wasn't because I felt all warm and good as I stared. That day was spent going back and forth to my dad's desk to stare at the same photos over and over.

3. Butt. I'm a huge assman but this didn't come into play til later on. It probably came about in the time I got curious about the cheerleaders in our school back in 6th Grade or so. The uniforms were quite good in covering the asses of our girls, but still, they had to move eventually since girls gotta flip and do splits.

4. It's funny how my parents banned me from seeing horror movies or those with heavy violence but sex was not an issue. I was bored since all I wanted to do is watch Arnold knock the shit out of a police station than see some girl prancing around topless. Guys envied me but my parents believed sex was natural.

Of course, I already explained how at some point I decided to really study the vagina. All books on anatomy and anything medical, etc. was in my tiny hands to be devoured by my brain. In some ways, I saw women as sitting on a goldmine what with how fascinating everything was. 3 holes!?! Boys can barely figure out how not to pee on the floor. How the hell would I know what was coming from where?

The whole point is that, although I was curious, I, and many like me, were not going head-on into fucking just for the sake of relieving the curiousity. Sex was just this complete mystery, unlike how it is now out there and in your face thanks to the 'Net. Girls wear their pants so low that you know her pubes are gone. My gym is just like a stripjoint in that I see more panties, the occasional breast, and camel toe each and everyday that I don't know how boys would behave if more came in.

As much as I am for the realities of sex, what happened to innocense? I mean, there is sex all over the TV but with no actual guidance. Kids complain of not knowing that you can get pregnant the first time, etc. when I fucking knew that long before. Diseases are now quite high in young blacks. Little boys sucking each other off? My major issue was dealing with show-and-tell.

Sometimes, I wonder if this is just a sign of the times since we put a major idiot in the White House that continues to hold conferences on defending this war in Iraq. Don't you get suspicious of this? When people lie, they always feel as if they have to defend themselves while truthful people tend to let you make up your own mind while walking off.

So, what age do you think a kid has a right to explore his/her sexuality? Pretty complex question! Boys always remember their first times they copped a feel on a girl's boobs and felt her up. Shit, I was 19 when my fingers got all sticky for the first time.

What about the emotional aspects of sex? We all know that strange feelings tend to manifest when fluids are shared. That is, if the guy actually thinks with his head as well as his dick. Yeah, I know some girls are into fucking every guy but most that I know aren't into that type of thing while most guys I know dream of walking into a room full of naked supermodels cooing to do them, do them all.

*MTV's Making the Band 3 was only okay since I'm awaiting the catfights between the 21 girls put in a building together. Plus, I want more Aubrey! I hope she can make it all the way even if there are a couple newbies that look like possible stars as well.*

Well, I'm outta here to attempt a snooze. Can't wait to hear of Jessica Simpson's divorce that we all know she is selling to a magazine or 2. Also, I am suspicious as to why Katie Holmes is pregnant after such a short dating period while Nicole and Tom's other wife never had a child but adopted. Is this child even Tom's? Something's fishy and it aint Crotch Rot's feminine odor while sitting across from me this morning. G'night, mates.

- - 2009-07-07

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