-Grey's Anatomy

I'm not quite sure how to put this but it may just begin by telling you what I did when I got home from work. I lay there in my bed for hours, completely staring up at the ceiling wondering how I got myself into this shit all while holding back a lot of anger. It's moments where you feel like you have no control of the direction you are going that completely scare you.

Yvonne, one of my co-workers said it best about me. No one seems to appreciate me at work. Okay, before you get into all that "It's just work......blah, blah, blah," I'll just say this. If you are in a place doing your damn best all while people completely blast you over the little things and abusing their authority, I don't know how you go in day to day. Man, I'd go nuts because I just cannot sit there and let people put me down.

"Thank you."

That's what Yvonne says to me everyday we work together because I help her. Hell, I stop what I am doing to get that last load up the ladder for her with a smile on my face. No one else in the store seems to notice Yvonne having trouble but me. This is a tired mom that I playfully tease about various subjects in life working at awful hours. Me? I'm a spoiled rich boy that seems to attract punishment in all I do.

The abuse of power is a weird one. Crotch Rot is the worst but there is that other, V, whom I worked with today. Nothing major but a little miscommunication between us as her attitude simply exhibits all over her face. I pretty much stayed away from her and did what I had to do. It's Crotch Rot and her ability to make me want to throttle her fat fucking face that has huge amounts of anger with me.

So, my mother tells me to start taking notes as to what is going on in the place I work. Documentation and all that jazz to take before Doug, my boss on vacation, so that I may get his feelings on all this. Like I said, he may not be a smart guy but he is so much fun as a boss while getting the job done. Those nights spent at work til the wee hours may have screwed up my sleeping patterns but at least they were fun goofing off to rap music at that hour. I hate rap but it sure gets you laughing like a white boy on the dance floor.

So, I lay there staring at the ceiling with my little dog, Buffy, to figure myself out. Why do I get chewed out about things I did not do? What should I do about Crotch Rot's laughing at me? Am I really that pathetic?

Look, I do my job. 3 bloody tampons, a 9mm shell, 3 used condoms (today's make it this number), and various food left over from lazy idiots that can't find a trash can. Would you believe that someone dumped a huge take-out from Red Lobster that consisted of a shrimp and chicken dinner? It looked so good even if it was cold after sitting in the parking lot all night. What a waste.

I take pride so I'm doing the best I can. I'm never late and do what I am told to while lazy managers taunt me. Good gawd, I'm so wishing for a PSP (Playstation Portable System) to play with in the breakroom instead of having to listen to one manager kissing the boss's ass. Oh, I'd play something very violent to let out some aggression.

If I had the room for one, I'd put a heavy bag in the house. Nothing like a good round with one to let out some anger as well, huh? Give me a hay loft to climb up into and I'll be fine within a few hours. Since I'm dreaming, I'd like a trip to Australia or Prague and be a ninja/werewolf assassin out to rid the world of evil-doers wherever they may be.

Love the Bolivia pictures, Summer. A friend of mine is from near there and she is so tiny. So, yes, 5"1" is a tall height according to her. Girls admitting to enormous amounts of gas? Times sure have changed but, then again, my mother challenges me in the kitchen.

- - 2009-07-07

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