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| I got tagged so I thought this would be a good time to just do it. No Mexicans appeared last night but I am so hoping for the porn company, Vivid, to put all their girls on a bus to later on break down in my parking lot. The conversations would be endless knowing how much I can talk it up about sex. Girls are much more explicit than they let on. 6 Things I Want To Do: -Be able to sleep for more than 5 hours in a row after work. -Live on another planet since this one is just getting too full of stupid people. -See people's farts so I can laugh at them due to my knowing just what they did and tried to hide. -Pee really, really far. -Talk to animals and have them work for me like in Beastmaster. Me to tiger-friend: "Bongo, go bite off Crotch Rot's tits!" -Dunk a basketball. 6 Things I Can Do: -Eat a lot yet not gain a pound. Let the jealousy begin! -Lift massive amounts of weight and then put it down. Repeat til exhausted. -Make even the most evil person laugh. -Cuddle with my dog -Eat cheese all day. -Stand up for myself over evil bosses 6 Things I Can't Do: -Take myself too seriously -Fart in front of women -Eat chocolate (I'd kill for an M&M) -Not debate the weather with myself -Not thank people that do things for me -Kiss ass 6 Things That Make Me Attractive To the Opposite Sex: -My pretty blue eyes -Muscles (chest, shoulders, biceps, triceps.......) -Personality that will make you think you are on a roller coaster -Buns o' steel -Openly sexual to the extremes -Laid back personality and easy to talk to. You know you want me. 6 Things I Say All the Time: -"Do you have to go potty?" (to the dogs) -"You are so fucking stupid!" -"Did you fart?" (to my mom) -"So, what body part are you working on today?" (To friends in the gym) -"I missed you like mad." -"God doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over. Now, go fuck yourself." 6 Celebrity Crushes (So easy!) -Keira Knightley (Duh!) -Jessica Alba (that face and ass) -Angelina Jolie (I'm afraid that I will bleed heavily after sex) -Joan Allen (Older chicks are hot, too!) -Mila Jovovich (Those eyes!) -Asia Argento (Seen XXX? Those thigh high boots and eye shadow make this goth girl lovin' guy a true weirdo of the liberal type.) 6 Things I Do Not Understand: -Why Bush has any supporters -Why people will not admit to global warming -Why I even bother trying at work -Why people thank god after any sort of award. Do you really think he favors you over everyone else? -Why Gay Nick says I am "too masculine." To me, I am feminine thanks to many girly behaviors. -Why I only now enjoy having my balls licked. So, there you have it. I've got tomorrow off so expect a little more from me then. I've just been so busy tending to sore feet and lack of sleep. Getting home at 5am only to wake up at 10am is hard all thanks to feeling like I need more sleep but can't. *G' morning, g'afternoon, and g'night. 0 Got Balls? |
- - 2009-07-07 Love Facebook - 2009-05-07 Retards Away! - 2009-02-16 Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28 My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07 |