So, a day off in HedgehoggyLand is never quite that, a day off. Been stuck at the car fixer-upper-place for 2.5 hours? Yup, all that and a bag of chips as I sat there watching Fox News (Arrrrgh!) talk about shark attacks. What, they've suddenly started hating that warm water, wandered up on the beaches, got a pair of hot dog buns, and have now started grabbing tourists one-by-one?

It's just the whole thought of Fox News doing a segment on shark attacks at this time of year, a wee bit chilly, that had me amused. Of course, the cameras just had to linger on the beauty of a great white circling around a steel cage. Did you know that most attacks are in Florida but 3rd is California? No one wants to be claimed second.

2.5 hours of sitting there reading Us Weekly, Esquire, Star, and a gangle of women's magazines I am not at liberty to allow such humiliation in referring to. All I can say is that Good Housekeeping has sold out.

Anyone else hate the fact that Best Buy keeps trying to sell them magazine subscriptions? I usually just tell them that after Shaved Asian and Big 'Uns, I just don't have that kind of money to afford Sports Illustrated.

Have no idea as to what I am doing this weekend. Just waiting to hear from Sara since I have this whole weekend off and am just fucking ready to catch up on all the latest gossip mags a boy can handle. Seriously. Drawing a hot bath and laying there to read about Ashlee Simpson's telling a customer to kiss her feet after he asked for an autograph just makes me want to spit nails.

It's obvious that I am tired. After spending 2.5 hours waiting for my oil change and getting up early in hopes that I could get in at a good time, I've had very little sleep. Even after getting home at around 1am only to find myself suddenly wide awake did nothing for me. Why must I get excited after work only to end up waking up at 10am?

So, what am I doing up now instead of laying around? Besides typing here, I'm awaiting Keira Knightley's visit to the Conan O' Brien Show. If only he were on earlier but I must say that this man has to be considered for the better interviewer. Who else will embarass himself with that hairstyle and impressive dance moves that only a deranged koala could appreciate?

Fact: I ate 7 white vanilla Oreos just over an hour ago. My mom would insist I used the "piggy wand" in which you wave it at the high calorie food to ward off those pesky calories. Actually, I need each and every one of them after a good workout to keep my 10% bodyfat frame.

Gay Nick has been missing for 4 days. That is extremely odd since he is always in the gym. Always. Gay Nick is obsessed with keeping himself at such a low fat percentage. I'm hoping he has found a nice little boytoy to settle with.

Went to the mall tonight, one of the worst things you can do since it brings out all the teenagers. Loved the sight of a black guy with 2 white girls, one was obviously his girlfriend and in high school. Nothing scares a white woman, the mother, more than a young black male wearing his pants so low that his boxers are pretty much considered shorts at the door.

Fact: Nothing scares a young black male more than an older woman talking like Snoop Doggy Dogg. "Fo' sho'! Yo, ya wanna fu' shizzle ma nizzle?"

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

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