I am a confused white male. Now, I'm no old fuddy-duddy that will tell you that music today sucks (it pretty much does) when compared to other decades (80's rule!) but I wonder as to when journalism of any sort will draw a hard line as to the difference between entertainment and integrity.

GQ Magazine put out its newest issue today. This, I noticed after picking up my Entertainment Weekly (always fun) to spend a little bit of time in La-La Land. The last time I read GQ was when Jessica Alba was on the cover but that has nothing to do with this:

GQ has given Vince Vaughn, 50 Cent, and Jennifer Aniston their People Of the Year Awards. Well, Miss Aniston is the first ever "Woman Of the Year" so I'm wondering why it took her half-naked self smiling on the cover to warrant a look-see. My question is simply this:

What did any of these people do to be given the thought that their existence is awe inspiring?

Vince Vaughn makes a funny movie, Wedding Crashers? So what!?! I'm sure I'll laugh as I did in Old School, a complete classic for every Frank the Tank out there stuck in a lifeless marriage of having to go to Bed Bath And Beyond on Saturday mornings.

50 Cent? Where do I begin on this guy? 50's whole claim to fame is getting young black males to think that getting friends is to make them respect you, interestingly with violence. You are nothing if you don't have money and while we're at it, how about the fact that his mom was gay. Not a big issue? Well, 50 frowns on any form of homosexuality. That's yo' mamma, man! I hate 50 Cent as all his ignorant lyrics continue to make it worse.

Jennifer Aniston, oh, you are such a lil' whiney orphaned cub now. Going on Oprah and trying to win over Bon-Bon by the box eating women as you tell how Brad left you for the most amazing woman ever, Angelina. Pity. You are not "America's Sweetheart" and will never be with all this just making movies after the fame of a dull TV show that was only funny for the first 2 seasons.

The 2 supremely worst things that could ever happen in regards to magazine nominations would be seeing Time Magazine name George Bush as "Man Of the Year" or Paris Hilton being seen as a woman of crediblity.

Whatever happened to people that actually mean something or do something for this world? I'm up for nominating CNN's Arthur Anderson. This man had the balls to ask hard questions as to why what happened in New Orleans happened at all as dead bodies floated around. Just where was FEMA? According to Bush, the director, Brown, was doing a "heckuva job."

*Barfs*

Of course, you, dear reader, have your nominations as to a person that matters to you. Just be careful in that you know that person and what he/she stands for. Entertainment or actual integrity? The line is not a blur with me.

Of course, Entertainment Weekly has to start all this hoopla as to who just might be up for an Oscar this year. I'm not a fan of awards shows but I do watch this if the time fancies me. Steve Martin was a great host as well as being a guy you could swear to having a drink with afterwards as the two of you bitched about why Paris Hilton was even invited.

My jaw dropped at the nomination of Keira Knightley for her performance in Pride And Prejudice. Surely, you jest? Please, by all the powers invested in me, I'd hate to see Keira receive an Oscar due to my love of her anti-Hollywood stance. Yes, I know she did Pirates....for Disney but I like her obscure tastes in what movies to appear in. Oh, how I'd hate to see Keira Knightley want to do flicks all for the $20 million paycheck. Give her more handguns and nunchukas to play with!

Since when does a scrapbook place not have glue? I still do not have any due to this store's dilemma. Damn, I'd swear that a place that thrives on something of this nature would keep a lively stock of it. *Cries* Oh, glue, how I need thee!

Do you think they'd give me some type of award for having a complete breakdown in the scrapbook place over glue? I mean, they do give Emmys to those that know how to cry on cue but why not ol' Hedgehoggy here? 50 Cent talked about how his tears falling in his new movie makes him a credible actor. Why not me?

Fact: I have another spider bite that is on my left forearm. Painful lil' swollen thing that I got in Indiana since I felt it there but didn't pay any attention til now.

So, I'm off to work in a bit as the world turns for Ugly and Stinky's continuance in possible romance. He doesn't know how to seduce (or possibly even fuck) a woman that is very hard to look at but with an amazing personality while she can talk to him without needing to hold her breath. Stinky and Ugly, it's destiny in a sweaty bad lighting environment.

Note: Sammy, I'll hit you back real soon.

Note 2: What's up, Summer? You have something to tell me?

Hope you enjoyed my little frustration with this world's need to see entertainment as being more credible. I'm just weird in that way to need to rant about that along with a little bite on my forearm while I beg to be turned into Spiderman. C'mon, radiation, do your thing so I can climb walls and possibly shoot web outta my butt! G'night, g'morning, and g'afternoon.

- - 2009-07-07

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