Hmmmmmmmm.......according to my need to clean up my old magazine collection, I had a small form of a Britney Spears fixation. Good gravy, as I pulled out a few old mags with ol' Brit herself smiling at me, I wondered just how out of it I was. It wasn't til the dark side won me back with that lovely Christina Aguilera (what a cute lil' bad girl!) from an old Maxim Blender.

Editor: "Well, according to all of this "too much information," I must say that you need 6 lashings on that firm behind of yours. You'll need to visit a woman in Australia that is a professional on such matters that I'm sure would love to get her chance."

If you are looking for major goofiness, I must say that I am geeked out to the 'core, tonight. It's the putting away all my comics into bags/boards that has me a bit famished. What with tending to my little dog, Buffy, and making sure my comics are ready one day in fine condition to make a pretty penny, Hedgehoggy is tired.

There is some gossip as always when it comes to these parts of my life:

-Stinky is not talking to Ugly at all. This according to her (Ugly) as Stinky does not realize only this woman can wade through that massive odor my boss and I must deal with at work. According to him, they have asked Stinky to clean up but it only lasts for about a week til he's back to smelling like a dead raccoon's behind after a massive 5-alarm chili outbreak back there.

What does it take to get a person to clean him/herself up? How can Stinky allow himself in public smelling like that? The worst thing is that when he poops, you know it as well. I'd love to get a giant hose and spray Stinky with it as all those foul smells leave even if only temporarily. Ugly, the nicest and most fun woman to overlook all this, wasn't even given a chance. I hate walking by her to see her wanting some kind of man-lovin', any kind of man-lovin'.

-Doug and I found ourselves working together to empty the baler. In case you don't know, it's a giant machine that scrunches up cardboard. As much as Doug and I argue, we're a good employee/boss team. Well, I don't smell like Stinky so that is a good thing.

Note: Sometimes, I wish I smelled like berries. I love berries!

-I'm not sure what has made me the hunk o' every girls' dreams but this has become the case. If you know my psyche, you'll know that I am not overstepping the boundaries on admittance as I am quite the frowner on why anyone wants to know me. It's just true.

2 of the 3 black girls say I am an amazingly cute white boy. Yes, I know 1 has 4 kids and the other is 41 but I'll take all I can get but I didn't realize that black women found me worth a good romp in the sack. It almost reminds me of Road Trip when DJ Qualls's character loses it to that big black woman all while holding up her massive drawers to show the boys that a girl has given him her panties.

Note: It's a complete honor to be given a girl's worn panties. They are not trophies but a rememberance of times spent where bodily fluids were shared. No one asks me for my undies except my dog, Ellie-Mae, as she loves the smell of my balls when its laundry day.

We go from black girls to girls that work in bookstores. I've mentioned El, the Barnes N Noble one, as she flirts a lot with me. Tiny girl as her Halloween costume suggests since she emailed me her pics just today. Forgot about all that but El did just that. She was Tinkerbell. Time after time, I see El in the gym as she runs up to me to chat before heading off to the hell of schoolwork from college.

Out of the mist comes another bookstore girl. I don't know this one's name but she's pretty much always on the lookout for me as witnessed Monday. All I was doing was looking in the new book section when she majorly looked at me. Doesn't it feel weird when someone locks eyes with you? I smiled and walked off as I watched her reflection in the windows show those eyes still on me.

Goodness, am I full of myself today? Hardly. It just feels weird that while I waited and waited for someone to tickle my mind (among other things), along come all these girls just trying their hardest to get my attention. As I said to Sara, I have no clue as to why anyone wants to be with me.

I.......

1. Always look at my negative points and feel they are the only things noticeable about me.

2. Tend to look sad or angry but will laugh so easily.

3. Don't care to know everyone but warm to whoever is around. In other words, popularity does nothing for me while others strive on it.

4. I'm more of an animal person than people pleaser. Dogs love me, yo.

5. My idea of a good time does not need to be a massive party where naked girls are surrounding the building. That was college and we called them "Thursdays."

It's weird but I just see myself as a very self-aware geek that tends to enjoy the creativity of comic books or reading while letting out all the stress in the gym. You should see me around my friends like Gay Nick (He's back and partied with boys in Chicago!) as I can work everyone's sense of humor, be it jock or dork.

However, I am a flirt since it makes a person feel alive. El is a very nice girl that I enjoy talking to here and there while I'm sure that other bookstore girl is going to corner me. Oh, and, yes, I encourage Sara to flirt as well. Everyone has something to express that another may not be good with even if this sentence may sound weird to you.

Of course, I flirt back and forth here on Diaryland. Just a little. There's no harm in all that since I'm very open in discussing sexual matters. I may be a guy but I am completely open on the topic of sex since you are reading the diary of a tough defender of women's sexuality. Hardcore, baby! Don't you girls ever let me down when it comes to gettin' lovin' in the bedroom or.......uh, playground equipment. Just remember to give the sweet boy that you received an orgasm from your wet panties. It'll really make his whole week or possibly year.

Definitely need to do a sex entry soon after my rather geek'd out one now being read. What should I discuss? I'm curioius as to a topic that may or may not having been covered by me. There will be a possible Top 10 Things That Are Sexy by me.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07