"Wait'll she meets your mother." That's what my stylist/barber told me when I mentioned Nine Inch Nails coming to town will also bring along Sara. Don't you just love it when gossipy gals bring out bold statements?

Actually, my mother is extremely nice. After teaching 3rd Grade for 35 years (she makes sure I know this number), kids have pretty much worn her the fuck out. Retirement has mellowed her from a go crazy at all costs now at a point where TV channel flipping is a bad habit. No Oprah in this house but she loves Judge Judy's snippiness on dealing with idiots.

Very few people have met my mom but Bald-O's one of those that is friends with adults as well as people his own age. Yes, would you believe it that my mom calls him once in a while just to chat? Teaching brings them together but when my mom brings out these words, I just have to laugh:

"Gettin' any looooooooooovin'?"

Oh, and hoar, I can match you in your grandpa dilemma (sorta). My ex's mom would constantly pinch my ass on many visits all due to her just thinking it's "perfect." Plus, there is nothing better in sitting down to a meal of pasta, garlic bread, and her farting every 5 minutes. When people bend to the side while seated to let 'em rip, it's definitely odder to see the female side do this.

I've got so many extra special entries planned-

1. A special year ender that sums up things and lists good/bad events.

2. My list of what's the great about sex along with what confuses me.

I've gotta answer to what Sara recently said in an entry about the sex we had on my last visit. Since it's quite nice to have a girlfriend tell everyone about the fire underneath the skin thanks to major orgasms, I love how unabashed she is on spreading the word that all women should masturbate and masturbate often.

It's so true as I've discussed this many times on how women should know their bodies prior to sexual experience. Vaginas are such confusing gifts that they need to have those cobwebs dusted off and put to use. How do you know what you like if you don't try it for yourself?

I just hate it when women are so afraid about givin' themselves some looooooovin'. These are the type that are going to be boring in bed to the point that I might as well just view them as dead fish. What guy would want to fuck a someone that just lays there without so much as a grunt? No, we want the wild n' the wooly. Those sexual experiences that have you start at one end of the bed and end up in the corner of the room taking a nap on top of each other are good examples.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07