Well, this has been an interesting night! We, in the midwest, are getting pummeled by snow. Right now, as I look out the window, it's at the 4 inch range but looking to get up to 7 total by tomorrow. Our backyard's table looks like a giant white cake as you can barely see the chairs. I'm sick of snow.

For those of you not familiar with snow, it's this powdery white stuff that I used to play in while being a little kid. Of course, I loved it as Mommy and Daddy drove me around on what would be a day off from school thanks to hazardous conditions possibly from driving. Looking at it now, I could just walk up to those nuns, demand a sit-down meeting, and then ask:

"Which one of you bitches is god mad at now!?!"

Mmmmmm......you've gotta love it when the women in black and white tell us that god hates homosexuals and that women that choose to have sex are nothing but whores. So, why not get as psycho as the nuns, yo? Trust me when I say this but I am so happy that many of you are honest in telling me how much you love sex and what you enjoy about it.

Happy twats all around, okay, ladies?

Alright, I've been itching to get into this announcement as it was found out last night at work. Many of you have stated how much you enjoy my telling you about life at 3am with my co-workers. It sure does take your mind off the hatred of working so hard since we 6 or 7 are doing the work of 15 to 20. Baby, it's cold outside but we are so all over the place and hot.

Ugly and Stinky are now dating as of 2 days ago. Stinky sent her an email that he wants to take this slow along with not telling anyone. Hello? You tell a girl that you want to keep the potential sex a secret and expect no one to know!?! Stinky, obviously, has a lot to learn about the female sex.

*No, Ugly did not have to resort to Plan B which was to bring out her tits or "flapjacks" as I see the way hers are. It was a possibility and may be weird to you but this woman has very little social skills. I like where her head is at in that she knows guys love tits.*

Ugly.........oh, Ugly last night was so fucking hilarious! She's happy and I mean very, very happy that it could lead her to having an actual real live boyfriend. Living with a cat can only do so much as any lonely 32-year-old woman that passes notes all while running away like a hippo with diarrhea. A man! A real live male to smother and tell all sorts of secrets to.

Now, I've been reading this diary all on women that are dying to have sex again. It's hard for those that enjoyed it once only to see it dry up to which vibrators are the only option. I'm one of those guys that know that women, no matter how many orgasms a machine can give them, really want a heartbeat behind it.

Well, Ugly has gone without sex for 32 years. 32 years of no dick is a lot harder than a 10-year dry spell. As Ugly told me, she really wants a penis inside her sooooooooooooooooooo bad. *laughs* This is not the first time a woman has told me in graphic detail that there is major curiousity towards sex. Remember my friend, "C?" Well, she talked in all seriousness about wanting to taste a guy's cum, have a guy inside her, and to taste the cock's skin. Well, C got her flower taken away about a year later. How do I know? The smile I got when told that there was a boyfriend.

Life's weird isn't it? Well, maybe it is to me in how sex can make us all behave like such dolts. For one thing, my manager has to deal with Ugly's non-stop talking to all of us at how she may have a boyfriend soon. Plus, the girl will not stop passing notes! I'm not kidding that Ugly writes notes to Stinky and tries to hand them to him while he tries to hide from us seeing this act. 32 years of age and an obsession with The Golden Girls brings about an innocense that is just odder than my need to wear the t-shirt "I Love Lesbians" down south last year.

One really can't blame Ugly. She's so happy and I get to see some of middle school's puppy love happening all over again. How Ugly gets past the smell of Stinky is what my boss and I want to know. It's pretty damn bad as he doesn't bathe, folks. A girl's gotta demand a clean ass from a boy, right?

Oh, and we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Ugly has viewed porn so she just might be able to attempt a sex act. Scary. Very scary.

I'm so happy that I don't have to work due to the roads being clogged with snow/ice tonight. It pretty much hasn't stopped snowing since noon today as the only reason I've been outside was to help my mom pick up the dogs from the groomer's and to see Buffy play in a heavy amount of snow for the first time. Yup, this is her first heavy snowfall since she grew up under a large awning at my grandparents'.

So, just wanted to announce the news of a girl on the hunt to relinquish the agony of not being deflowered. There was none of the usual huffing and puffing from Ugly about work while she told me Stinky was smiling at her (of course, he did this when my back was turned). A woman needs to get some ass, no? G'night, g'morning, and g'afternoon.

- - 2009-07-07

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