Stop me if you've heard this one:

"I used to love the Holidays but...."

Last night's long and occasionally chaotic working atmosphere nearly had me walk to my car in fits. Why? It's like nothing ever ends. I see people bring out the same damn toys over and over each night. I see the same toys being taken down from the top shelf over and over. I see the same sniffles and moments of personality over and over. The only changes each night belong to a gay Mexican and me. For one small broken portion of time, we got to fuck with the most innocent of 32-year-old women, Ugly.

Here I was explaining one of my sexual adventures in which I, yes, yours truly, enjoyed the major rush of receiving a blowjob in zero degree weather, my 3rd that day, to Ugly. The poor inexperienced woman had the look on her face of, "Ya mean I've gotta give blowjobs even when it's cold out!?!" while the gay Mexican had a huge smile on his face.

Truly, life begins when you let your guard down and start showing just how many times you say "fuck," "shit," and "motherfucker" like the true badass you are. These words are meant to be expressed at this time of year because it truly is the season to be sharing. Am I the only one that loves a 70-year-old that can cuss like a mean mutha'?

For me, I've been feeling like I am holding so much back. 9 hours of what can almost be described as hard labor due to the constant movement of me from all over the giant store only to bend down and clear everything up. My true moment of happiness is when I deliver a bale. You know how doctor's are so happy to bring a baby into this world? Mine's about 200 pounds of cardboard but, damn, it's such a good feeling that mine isn't gonna talk back to me.

Of course, I'd rather be with Sara all curled up in bed with her and possibly the cat, Lenore. Right now, my alarm clock is 4 legs of trimmed hair after a visit to the groomer's and, boy, is she loud and proud. I get tongue first thing and you should be jealous, baby.

I die each night. When I get home after work, there is a short window of hyperactivity that finds me on the 'Net but I'm dead once my head hits the pillow. Close to 4pm is when I woke up so I have not seen the sun all day. Did you know my dog is so small she sits on the back of my head to look out the window in my room?

Editor: "I'm sure it's a lovely view, really."

I do find it funny how little things tend to find their way into my amusings collected within me. Imagine 3 boys all crowded around a collection of Sony PSPs (Playstation Portable video game systems) as they each take turns telling why they wish Santa should deliver one to each. One may want to just play games while another just wants a nice portable movie player with a music system for extra kicks.

Now, think real hard when the 3rd boy tells of how much he likes to watch anime porn. No video games or movies. Just animated people having hardcore sex in which the men have 15 inch penises and ejaculate what looks like a small flood into women that have eyes as large as dinner plates and the desire to be entered at any moment. Well, Japan is the place business men buy worn school girl panties on their way to work. Makes the entire commute much easier.

My boss and I just couldn't figure out Stinky's love of anime porn. While there is nothing wrong with porn, it's just that exaggerated drawings are considered as a means to get a guy hard? Weird. I mean, I love the artwork behind Ghost In the Shell (most popular anime that started America's love of it) but anime is just too out there.

Plus, Ugly is going to have a real hard time fitting into an anime girl's wardrobe, skintight with enormous eyes and the desire to put anything in her mouth.

To remind me, Sara sent me an email with a picture. That's the reason I'm not quite as cold as I may seem to be through this writing. As I said, I'd rather be in Indiana. Any girl that can describe the sex as fire underneath the skin and patience to stand in line for a Harry Potter book is fine by me.

My little Sammy's engaged. Now, that feels so strange to be fascinated with a person you haven't met physically but have talked to back and forth for years. Strange indeed but Diaryland brings certain people together while the curse of miles seperates.

- - 2009-07-07

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