"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."

-The Godfather

Actually, it's true. Today was supposed to be my last day at work during this Seasonal shit that has had me going bananas (I was quoting Gwen Stefani, last night, okay?). I was all ready to be able to catch up on all that sleep missed as we overworked souls somehow found it within ourselves to work our asses off on only 4 to 5 hours of sleep.

Let's catch up with the words of Da Hoggy..........

-The reason I am going back to work on Friday as well is because of our Christmas bonus program. $300 is up for grabs but with a catch. It's all for a series of 3 drawings each day divided up for the people that show up on the last 3 days. My finish would have been on the 2nd day which would make me ineligible.

So, no matter what, I want to win. It's not about the money but the fact that we all worked our asses off while insane people would try and trip us. Crotch Rot and Clown are still haunting our lives, mostly my life. After all I've put up with, I, as well as those that worked with me, deserve bonuses.

However, Doug and I wanted to do away with the drawings in which a person would win $100 for each day his/her name was drawn. Last night, would have been the first, today, the second, and blah, blah, blah. It just isn't fair if we all worked so hard so the $300 is going to be divided up within us 6, the best of the best since we showed up to work every night. Isn't that cool?

Ugly was gone last night so the 7 of us, Doug is not included in the drawing, all agreed to divide the $300. I have to keep it a secret from Ugly as well as everyone else that worked at the store but, hey, it's $50 for no work! We became such a close bunch that I'd hate to see anyone go home without a bonus of some type.

Plus, tomorrow's last day brings a big pizza party for the hardcore people, us, and the time to bitch about Crotch Rot and Clown. We let those 2 evil women have it and this includes their boss, Doug adding his nickel to his hatred. Good times even if we'll have to work as well on that night.

-I am now hopped up on sleeping pills. I swear that this has been the only way to get my body to sleep these past 3 or 4 days as I am now completely out within an hour of arrival to home and up in 8 or 9 hours. Today, I woke up at 5:30pm, so unlike me, but once the grogginess dissipitated, I was fine as wine. I know I'm going to have to stop soon.

Of course, I heard of Eminem's addiction to sleeping pills and can understand it. I just cannot sleep once I get home from work or, even if I do, it's many hours later til I'm at slumber. Work's frustrations and my hatred for various things while there play too much in my head that there's a giant rumble going on in there.

-Tomorrow, I have to make a trip to Border's for my boss, Doug. Due to his shyness of purchasing material that just so happens to involve female nudity, I have to get the Playboy book, 50 Years Of Playboy Playmates. Isn't that funny? A cheque of $45 to me that I cash and I'm off to hand the clerk it for the loveliness of the female form. You go from the massive bushes of the 50's all the way to the completely shaven of the current women. It's always easy to tell what year a photo is when it comes to pubic hair.

-The break room is just like high school. Doug always sits next to me, the black girls sit together, and the losers (Ugly and Stinky) sit across from each other. It never really ends, folks. Ugly just stares at Stinky as he pays her no attention while reading book after book (a new one each night). I feel sorry for a 32-year-old woman that has no idea how to get a guy's attention but, then again, Stinky is not just any guy. He's the smelliest and downright grossest ever produced. How Stinky's parents let him leave the house like that is really weird.

-Ugly has been fun to talk to. She blurted out how desperate she is to have sex with Stinky but it's this conversation that had me laughing. Ugly desribed it as just "perfect" when it came to a dildo she saw. Oh, my dear clueless woman on life has a penis preference even if she's never seen one up close. Once I walked past her, I had a case of the mad giggles when she even showed me how many inches it was, about 6. I don't know which is funnier, a woman that has a penis preference while never having seen one or how she ran away like a hippo on diarrhea after giving a note to a very smelly man. You decide.

-I miss Sara like mad but you already knew that.

- - 2009-07-07

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