You know what? Sometimes, the best Christmas gifts are those that come as a complete surprise. I walked down the stairs after a long nap due to again not sleeping well. My mother told me that there were some "pictures" in a frame to look at. After a small amount of haziness, I realized that these pictures were of my dogs, Bonnie, Clyde, Ellie-Mae, Jethro, and my little Buffy.

These weren't normal pictures but of my 5 Yorkshire Terriers dressed up in Christmasy clothes such as Buffy being a little elf while Ellie-Mae has on antlers. The little kicker was seeing Bonnie in a suit. You read that right. A fucking suit while Clyde has on a dress! It took me a little bit of time to ponder the great humor in having my dogs switch roles regarding who wears the pants.

These pictures of my dogs in ridiculous outfits (although, Buffy is an elf) might warrant us as being mad, this framed set was given to us by our groomer. I'm still in shock that a woman trimming my dogs' behinds took the time to dress them up and give this to us. Apparently, the whole set was delivered by her while I was asleep. You can imagine how fucked up I was to see this after only sleeping 4 hours in the past 2 days.

Work is done. No more. Na-da. I am a free man now and with 1 major mission, to return my body back to normal. That means lunch is around noon, breakfast is around 9am or 10am, and dinner is around 5pm as it used to be. Along with all this, I have to train my body to shut the fuck up at night so I can sleep like the dead. With my rambling mind, this is gonna take a long, long time.

Work ended on a strange note. While Doug unlocked the store's doors, we couldn't help but notice as Stinky and Ugly walked out together like they do in the movies. Yes, the sunset scenes where the heroes ride off but only this was around 6:30am and it was dark. Romance possible? I'll find out what happened later on as I've mentioned how much Ugly wants to be deflowered. Hey, hippos with explosive diarrhea need love, too.

As for me, I have taken 2 naps, eaten a lot of shrimp after doing so, and need a long hot bath to soothe my aching feet. This is what happens after walking over 5 miles a night on hard tiled flooring.

My highlight is that the obvious spoiling of me is there. Yes, I got that Calvin & Hobbes gigantic comic strip set placed into 3 large hardbound books weighing a lot. The catch is that I had a friend use her 30% discount to help. Why pay $150 when you can get it for just over $100 instead? I have friends all over that are willing to help me just as I am for them.

Not happy: I am invited to a wedding in Chicago. More on this later.

So, you and I need to spend the Christmas doing the traditional, watching A Christmas Story with pets and doing your best lines while they look on in horror or confusion:

Dad: "Look! It's French! It says, "Fra-Gee-Lee.""

Mom: "No, I think it just says "fragile.""

- - 2009-07-07

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