-My fortune cookie from New Year's Day brunch with Sara

Okay, I promised a year end entry even if I hate them due to feeling like the whole world revolves around me with its me, me, me issues. Since this is a diary and it's only inevitable to sum a year up as best as I can, I give you..............Da Year Of Da Hog!

*Evil laughter*

It's funny how I remember so easily my New Year's Day of last year. It was spent sweeping snow off the store's front sidewalk while answering various people's questions as to when the store opened. Apparently, a giant sign that reads: "10AM" just does not get through to the trailer people, our lovable little shoppers.

This year is a bit different due to all the action packed events that came forth for me even if there was so much tragedy and ugliness brought upon us by our lovely government of morons led by the biggest dipshit ever, Bush. For once, I got kissed on New Year's and woke up right next to someone. How many love comparing morning breath with your sweetheart? It's our charm.

Let's start off with the movies I enjoyed for 2006:

-High Tension (horror flick that could with a twist I saw coming but held me tight throughout)

-Mr. And Mrs. Smith (Am I the only guy that gets a kick out of seeing Brad and Angelina fight? "Come to daddy" only ends up with her kicking him in the balls with the following line: "Who's your daddy now?")

-Revenge Of the Sith (At least George Lucas went out with a bang. Bad dialogue but some mean fights to make us forget about 'em. Darth Vader as Frankenstein?)

-Sin City (Yeah, it was was a lousy life in a lousy part of town but so good! One of my favorite flicks of all time as our anti-Hollywood director made a graphic novel feel like some of the best fiction out there. Hookers with heavy artillery and Jessica Alba and ropes to slow dance with.)

-Garden State (Cleverly put as "a movie for pet owners" and a sensitivity followed by humor at our quirks. Natalie Portman was unforgettable.)

-Harry Potter 4 (Nice but not my favorite in the series. The English girls' entrance had my heart racing.......among other things.)

-House Of Flying Daggers (The colors are gorgeous as our "blind" assassin hits all the right drums. See it to believe it as Zhang Ziyi is unforgettable!)

-Devil's Rejects (Not for the squeamish but it does the job. I have a hard time watching scenes of rape and humiliation but the movie was so good in getting its point across as a 70's thriller/horror.)

-I Love Huckabees (Not for everyone but so funny as a guy tries to find a very tall black man and more. Only good if your humor is beyond the Dumb And Dumber variety.)

-Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (Well, he's after a giant shark with a crew that can only be described as.....odd, no? William Defoe was perfectly cast as insane.)

So, I sit here wearing Hiss's gift to me all the way from her lovely continent, Australia. It's a black XX-Large t-shirt with a crocodile on the front. See? Diaryland brings all sorts of people together as we each try to get our views out there to those that just might understand. Plus, we learn a little from all that reading.

Of course, everyone wants to be a part of each other's lives after reading so many entries. There are times I feel quite close after a year or so. Sammy started this with me as we've been emailing each other for over 3 years thanks to Diaryland. Hiss sent me 2 t-shirts from her country. I've been sent Christmas greetings, cards, and pictures. Sammy is gorgeous while Slow-Poke tells us that "Different Is Good" while in front of Arby's as her arms show how big her sandwich was.

Amazing that I didn't have as many disses as I seemed to get each year. Just about everyone kept the shut-the-fuck-ups to nill. I miss those that wish me dead as I once got last year from a narrow minded girl thinking she is so punk.

Life has not been completely perfect for me. My little dog, Jethro, whom went through surgery more than a year ago was found to have a blood disease. The surgery, itself, was to repair a major irritable bowel problem that had Jethro weighing less than 3 pounds. Gawd, it was so scary holding a Yorkshire Terrier that was basically little skin and bones but all those times spent on the kitchen floor force feeding him worked. Too bad, it was found that Jethro has a blood disease that now has him on a limited diet since I miss feeding him a few scraps. The little shit is just too hard to say no to.

Only 1 surgery on my dogs this year. Bonnie had a hernia operation that went well. She's now running around as always to tell her brother, Clyde, as to who is queen bitch. Gotta love the picture my groomer sent in which Clyde is wearing a dress while she is in a tuxedo. No joke. The best was the outtakes the groomer just brought by of Clyde kissing Bonnie. Yorkie love!

It's funny how so much of the year of 2005 had me being hit on. It's now at a complete standstill but I don't care. My girlfriend means more to me than R and those I worked with that gave me looks of teasing or aiming to please me. When I'm comfortable at a rate of 100%, I have an addictive personality that comes out. R has had a crush on me for over a year while girls that work at bookstores have given me major looks. How can I forget E and her hinting how bad she wanted to be taken out?

Where do I begin on Sara? Many of you saw this coming as a girl from Indiana and I started a major flirting sensation over email. I'm not sure how I just gave out my email address but I did as various topics were discussed here and there only to lead into a possible meeting. It was a definite jaw drop to find how close Sara and I are in regards to miles. 1 hour and 30 minutes has been lowered to 1 hour and 19 minutes.

I've told my mom countless times at how crazy I was to drive out to meet someone I've only talked to through emails. Yes, I still remember the drive, the dinner, and that special moment on the couch where after many orgasms (plus falling off the couch), Sara just had to pull up the throw to look at my penis. My kind of girl as all should feel free to inspect.

Oh, in case you don't know, that moment was February 21st in which Sara and I first met. I'm such a tease in how Sara played with the line of: "Don't get the idea that I'm going to share my bed with you."

Well, I've never had a moment of sleeping on the couch have I, Sara? I may have dozed off a few times on the couch due to it being 4am as Closer ended and The Fertility Goddess came over to discuss boy problems. There were also moments where I was just too damn tired for sex but I was still sleeping right next to you with a big smile on my face since I'm one of those rare boys that just love to sleep right next to a girl he just had sex with.

According to Sara, I am good in bed due to my giving that "fire underneath the skin" but I protest a little. First of all, I snore as many have told me. Second, I take forever to cum so unless you can handle 10 orgasms or more, you are gonna have one sore yum-yum. Third, when I am exhausted, it's almost like I forget how to fuck. Seriously. That has happened as I forgot to lick Sara's spine once. What? Oh, you should have your spine licked.

How many days? Well, Sara and I are on our way to 11 months. That's my longest relationship of all time as 2 people that look very different continue to do very kinky things in the bedroom. Let's just say I am such a licker during the most recent moment of not seeing Sara due to work's hellish torment. Our conversation as I unzipped her pants while playfully saying:

Me: "I missed your pussy."

Sara: "Apparently so."

I've done countless numbers of entries in which I talk of the glories of going down on girls. Of course, that means I have spent much time doing so with Sara as that wicked grin forms while my head makes its way south to drink her juices. I'll never forget those screams of pleasure or how Sara had that look on her face of complete exctasy. Score one for the boy that loves wet twats!

Of course, life isn't all about sex. There was the horrible time of when my contact (the right one) gave me a horrible feeling of pain. Apparently, I did not change it for just over 3 years. Stupid me but even stupider over the fact that I had to leave Sara in a nice Italian restaurant while I ran through downtown to ditch the contacts for glasses. Hated that as she was alone in a nice red dress awaiting our orders. I'll never forget that.

Of course, I have new contacts and even got a new pair of glasses by Ralph Lauren.

Someday, I'll go to Australia.

One thing that has changed about me is my own personal style. Slowly and I mean slowly have I been working my way up from the ol' baggy pants and a retro t-shirt to more fitted. I'm quite modest due to having muscles n' shit that tend to get stares or various other things from people. I work hard in the gym so clothes are difficult in that my shoulders are quite large so shirts tend to fall barely over the belly button at times. The worst is major labels due to the cuts not thinking of guys that really work out.

Now? I think my long coat speaks for itself as both Sara and I wear them. I've always wanted to as my red/black Air Jordan coat made us look kind of odd. She looked nice while I looked like a thug. The long coat and various other nice clothes can be found as I grew up. That's not to say that I don't love a lil' hip hop flavor.

First trips with your girlfriend are scary. You never know what kind of personalities come out as that realness makes its way. Of course, I am talking about that one where Sara and I along with her friends drove to Atlanta, Georgia to see nerds, geeks, dorks, losers, and dweebs venture out of their parents' basements to worship. Celebrities and famouse people involved in sci-fi or comics were the main draw while many fans went as a favorite character. Apparently, Spiderman wears horrible boxers.

My birthday was around the weekend in Atlanta. How cool is that to celebrate in another state? A cake and good times with new people as this was the perfect way to go in South Carolina. If you don't remember, my birthday is September 6th. Dare I say that I also had sex in that state? Sara said I initiated it.

Editor: "She's right, dumbass."

Life's little nasties pop up here and there. I've watched Sara see her friends move on. My favorite was Bri, a bisexual dude you just cannot forget on first meeting as the impression is one in the extremes. Along with this was his cat that has a habit of attacking sugar that is placed on the ground. Yes, sugar. It was great to see Bri while on the trip to Atlanta but harder to realize that trips to see him with Sara would disappear.

The most recent friend to leave was on the most recent visit, Marty. Interesting guy that I got to see here and there as I witnessed amazing marksmanship on the Halo 2 X-Box game. It's always tough seeing military having to follow a president's many shortcomings.

I've had so many people leave me as time went by so it's nothing new to me. Sometimes, I think I try to keep people from getting close all because I don't like the feeling that he/she may leave. Stupid to do since meeting others helps personal growth.

Someday, I'll go to Miami.

More sex? A lustful blowjob was had by me while Sara lay on her apartment's hallway floor. What is it about a girl that pulls up her skirt, spreads her legs, and licks the tip of my cock that drives me so wild? That rush of lust makes you feel alive, even more so than when my cum spills into her mouth.

Never had a handjob while a girl drives a car at 70something miles per hour. I'll also never forget asking if I could cum right then and there after 40something minutes of my cock being stroked. I'm sure the expression on my face as it all went straight up to the ceiling was funny, too.

Part 2 tomorrow as this is long.......happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07