-Unknown

First of all, I hate doing these types of entries. There is so much more to this world than me as I'd love to get into my little frustration with Kanye West's need to tell everyone he is the greatest in the world (No, you are a little above-par rapper with a messiah complex), my state's firing of 4 employees that wouldn't give out "morning-after" pills due to their religious beliefs, or how funny it feels to have to show I.D. for cold medicine.

Nope, I'd like to think I know this world does not revolve around lil' ol' me with a good sense of self. I may feel like a failure but, baby, I hold more in my head than most guys can ever understand. Even if I look down on myself, I still feel mighty strong as I can look past the hype and see the real issue.

Editor: "Aint no Oprah kissing ass in this house!"

Today, I was told by E that she would like to know me in an......*ahem*....more intimate manner. Remember her? E's the girl that works at Barnes & Noble and has this amazingly goofy sense of humor that the 2 of us can bounce off of each other. I first met her when I told her how I recognized her from her funky socks worn at work. I'm playful, okay?

Funny thing is that I know I wrote an entry not too long ago in which I thought E's obvious major crush on me is gone. I mean, I told her about Sara and the fact that I adore her so I thought that our shortness of fun conversations was a sign. You see, when you bring out my personality, I get animated or fun to just play around with. E's got that as you can tell when a visit to her workplace shows her co-workers being that way as well.

This all started when I arrived at the gym at the exact same time as E, obviously just woken up and in a ponytail (a fetish of mine). I was so happy to see her since I pretty much dread going during the first 15 minutes of being there. After bending down to pick E's pants up to playfully see her socks, off we went to different areas of the gym, cardio for her and weights for me.

You know me. I adore Sara and continuously talk of her as any guy that is happy would. There are rough nights I have in which I hate not being able to see her due to the hour away. It's not always easy to sleep alone either since I feel more rested in Sara's bed. The warm skin is perfect.

E's just...........E. It's just funny how much fun I have talking to her since anything goes. Her beliefs are pretty similar to mine as a day for her is to work out and make her mind more aware (she's one of the few girls I know that can read books while on the elliptical machine). Yeah, the body is a temple, yo. It just disgusts me when people let themselves go one way or another.

Everyone gets hit on, right? It's natural and fun to have someone attracted to you. I just hate it when people don't bother to acknowledge someone that sees something good in that person. Ugly? Stupid? Yeah, I remember that dynamically challenged duo I used to work with, Ugly and Stinky, but those 2 were perfect for each other. He didn't bathe and she was cosmetically-challenged.

Of course, I talked to E after her admittance. I'm not mean and although she said she understood that I adore Sara, I know that the look wasn't completely honest. Yeah, it's pretty obvious.

Isn't it weird how friends are when it comes to their opinions on challenging moments in relationships? Both Kim and Joe tell me to have sex with E since Sara wouldn't know. Their reason? No ring on my finger. Are we watching too much TV these days or something? Just go for a girl with a cute little ass in tiny shorts without a thought?

You might ask me why I'm this way. It's simple. My dad cheated on my mom and I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that. Plus, Sara is so unique. We fight, bicker, and, yes, I have gotten pretty damn mad at her but we've been good together. Almost a year, huh? Sara challenges me mentally and sexually, something I've wanted for a long time.

Note: My ex, Jen, once told me that I am a handful as you never know what to expect out of my goofy mind.

Funny how Sara and I talk of who's been flirting with each other lately. She may get a wedding proposal from a religious freak while I get "come-fuck-me" looks from R, my ex co-worker. Is it any wonder others enjoy watching these things since it takes their minds off of actual work?

All I want in a girl is someone that takes care of their body along with their mind, enjoys life, and doesn't feel as if she needs to follow others. March to your own beat while carrying an automatic and 75 pounds of ammunition? That's my girl as she lays down a field of fire with a smile. Aint no conformity in this house as she tells me how much she can't wait to suck me off under the moon's thick glow.

So, how are you? I know it's been a me, me, me weekend thanks to running into an ex-girlfriend as well as fucking up things by telling a mother that my career of choice is as a bouncer. I've become deeply embarassed about that since it's weighed on my mind all day today. Why couldn't I have come up with something more elaborate like a video game artist? Professional used tampon wrangler? Last place in the World's Strongest Man contest? I'm just me, mistakes and all. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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