-Trent Tomlinson

Oh, what a day that starts out so horribly wrong in which I wish I could just reach out to my girlfriend and tell her how great she is instead of seeing snow/rain fall all fucking day. Who wouldn't want a good sex-fiesta underneath the covers followed by constant laughter or a deep discussion as to whether George Bush looks like he's the type of guy to notice if someone pee'd in his apple juice.

I'm just wondering if it all tastes the same to him since he truly does look like the type to ask for a handjob on the first date.

How did the no-good-bad-day get better? Just step into my favorite hangout, the gym, where you'll find all the boys. For the girls, there are lots of sweaty men working out in various shorts to accentuate their packages. Us boys get our usual sorority girls bending over in tight lycra while their thongs (I've never seen a white one) hang out. Just as some guys like to flash the bulges, girls like to show off the shapes of their little strawberries nestled in between those legs.

Why am I mentioning all this? Slut Watcher enjoys distracting me from my workout by pointing these things out. I get revenge by walking up to each girl he is so afraid to talk to and chatting with her. Slut Watcher always says:

"H-h-h-ow do you do that?"

The secret is to not put girls on pedestals. Treat them as nicely as you'd like to be treated. Voila! Pretty girl speaks to you. Well, plus, packing a mean set of biceps is easier on their eyes but I'm there to get pumped, baby!

Yessirree, I got patted on the back, high-fived, and handshaked the night away. It's good to be the king in my gym as 1 of the few big white boys out there. Of course, I could do without BB Nick and his bodybuilding posse. But then again, I know from the locker room that there aint much in those tighty-whities as his anorexic girlfriend has most likely had to very little to play with.

In case you didn't get it in a previous entry, all black guys always being well-hung is a myth. That's a tip from yours truly as all this shamelessness of too much information comes out.

Oh, and Gay Nick posed for a picture right before I left the gym. Nice of my tall gay friend to overcome his shyness just for me BUT I promised I would not put up Gay Nick's picture. Poop. Will have to settle for the massive scrapbook.

*Why are the pictures taking so long to put up on this diary? My dad has the only port and he's busy working on a website at the moment. I always keep my promises so there will be a large smiling Yorkshire Terrier looking at you from your screen at some point.*

I'm in such a good mood that I hate the fact that Sara isn't here. A good workout has me bouncing off of walls and wanting to celebrate with a milkshake or my favorite activity, cunnilingus. This boy loves pussy and a deep discussion. Isn't it awesome how much Sara trusts me? Almost 1 fucking year!

2 Things:

1. Summer sent me a taping of the Veronica Mars episode I missed. Pity she can't be here to discuss a plot that ended up with wondering if Veronica did the right thing. We viewers are left to debate this good quality programming that even Stephen King cannot look away from. To those of you not able to watch Veronica Mars, you are missing a lot. A LOT! Summer rocks!

2. I am being Google'd under: "Star Jones + Semen." Now, those are 2 things not found in the same sentence. Husband is gay so where is she gettin' the spunk? Semen sure as hell doesn't flow like wine when a gay guy marries an ugly cow. It only does so during a major bonk-fest of superior proportions. The first rule of thumb is to not get semen on the curtains since that kind of event makes Martha Stewart cry uncontrollably. It always seems to find it's way on to hair and body parts but not with Star Jones.

Editor: "And that's one to grow on."

More TV shows? Lovin' Lisa Loeb's "Number 1 Single" where she is looking for a good wholesome dude that can overlook how famous she once was. I still like her so no dissing but I can do without her words on desperately needing a baby.

Oh, and I am laughing heavily with Isaac Mizrahi. Not only does he ask the questions we really want to know on the Red Carpet (What kind of shaving was done to each star's lovely set of pubes or what color undies) but he asked to see Lisa's thong. Out she came in a t-shirt and black thong to say hi. Isn't Lisa fun?

If you wanna know, yes, I would answer Isaac's question easily with how it is trimmed right now: The usual that basically has a circle around my cock's base. Just lighter than a pinch. Go me. Sara likes it. Curious how you girl's want to see guys trim. Bare? Like mine? Fuzzy balls but no hair? Do discuss.

Relax, it's just hair.

Okay, I got tagged by my dress-with-a-mess obsessed zombie lover. It's based on what famous people I'd have fantastic sex with but a twist. That twist is what I'd do on that date prior to heavy bonking. Well, I cannot answer just yet as I need to think of who I'd add to this already complicated list. I'm a perfectionist with high criteria, dammit! The media has focused too long on girls with nothing to say. Finding 1 willing to fight tooth and nail for you as you are attacked in the Highlands Of Scotland by a pack of werewolves laughing at your indecent exposure of a flaccid schlong is not easy.

I'd giggle, too.

I'd like to ask my pal, Summer, for her answer to this question. You know the rules, girl, as I am dying to know what famous males you'd spend a week seducing. Go on and get randy.

Did you know I love to be bitten? Tickles, no?

So, with all that in mind as I have had a great night of seeing so many of my gym-mates show up while I got a workout that had me wishing my girlfriend were here, I'm gonna sit up and stew on whom I'd choose for a week-long shagfest of monsterous proportions. Afterwards, I'll tag a few people but I wanna know Summer's thoughts because this girl helped me out big time. Kisses to Sara as I really miss you tonight. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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