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Wanna know a secret? I'm kind of fascinated with this "Dancing With the Stars" show. It's not something I watch much but just catch a few minutes of due to coming into my parents' room to chat. You'll find Master P. (the world's worst dancer in which he thinks shuffling your feet while walking is a dance), Tia Carerre, and Stacy Keibler all going through the motions of what was once considered greatness.

Go to a bar, any bar. Would you find anyone dancing? No, that drunk that is mubling while doing his best Master P impression doesn't count. Neither does the usual girl doing that thing rappers like in which she puts her ass up in the air to show everyone that her engorged labia needs to be mounted by a strapping young buck. We are a part of the animal kingdom, no?

What I'm talking about is the history of how dance once was. According to this news segment on dancing, it was lost after the 60's and became more about showing off. Dancing as an art of seduction was replaced by people just wanting to get drunk. Again, I ask whether you've ever seen amazing dancers in a bar? Still, your drinking buddy "Larry" does not count no matter how good he is at avoiding the puke on the floor.

I'm not a great dancer but I do remember how great it felt to let loose on the dance floor during Finals Week at 1am after 8 beers and shots insisted on being downed by your friends. There was one time I just cannot forget about in which all of us, pretty much the whole fucking lot of people in the bar, got up to dance. "C'mon Eilleen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners (Perfect for drunks to clap and yell to) and "Celebration" by Kool And the Gang came on. Everyone joined in and went nuts. No matter how ugly or stupid you were, that hour you had someone to dance with, baby!

Again, I am not an incredible dancer but love a good drunken spinner-oo or letting out the ol' "Thriller" moves with my gay buddy in the gym. The easiest way to make a gay guy laugh is to show how awful you are at it. Just do it in private as rumors might persist as to whether you "play for the other team."

Editor: "Or 'play in another yard' is my favorite."

The one dance I am so amazed with as being an amazing art of seduction is that salsa or basically anything to do with Spain's history. Oh, take a woman in a tight red dress and have her move with a Spaniard that really knows what he is doing........amazing. Is this salsa? The whole dance looks like the male is there to tame this wild woman with such fast movements.

Enough on dancing! On with the show!

Random night! It's random night! Random night!

1. I love me a lil' Sammy as she can really bring on the debate. My notes, dear me, are fantastic as only this girl can do to them what I've wanted so long. As Sammy asked me before, why can't we all enjoy a good discussion without thinking the other hates us? The whole purpose is to share our thoughts even if someone might find us a bit loony.

Remember my Women In Society class I took in which it consisted of 27 girls and me being the only male? Hardly anyone argued their ideas with me. Hardly anyone. It was always between me and this large black girl that would go at it like........well, like something I cannot think of and I loved it. What was funny was when I got done saying something, I'd look behind me to see that a smirk had formed on this woman's mouth. She was ready for a counter point. Do I need to lay it all into you that Sammy is very dear to me as we seem to agree a lot and disagree with the same passion?

2. A friend of mine in the gym told me that her morning workouts were annoying. In the women's locker room, a lady would be in there smoking after a work out. Doesn't this defeat the purpose? You're there to get healthy but find yourself puffing away? It's strange how I seem to find more and more women doing ridiculous things. Never have I ever seen a guy smoke in the locker room but I do have to avoid teeny weinies flying all over the place as guys walk by. Plus, some think sitting on the benches completely nude is okay. Can you say: "Shit particles?"

3. Grew a little fascinated with the WB's Beauty And the Geek. Tonight's was my first episode of the year due to my not watching much TV. Sometimes, it is good to veg out after a workout and I was lucky.

Don't know the format? Take the geekiest guys ever. Put them in a room with beautiful girls (all of them are pretty much stupid, sorry) and hope that by combining their talents, someone learns something. Plus, money is involved. Not surprisingly, there is a "doungeon master" involved as anything with imagination on the geekdom will scare away pretty girls.

One of the guys (A brown one, Sammy! They waxed his eyebrows!) had never been on a date. Lucky bastard. No having to worry about whether your date thinks your crazy since you'd rather talk about how you kicked ass at Halo 2 on Level 12 or there was a monkey that actually has to kick his smoking habit which brings up the debate that maybe, just maybe we actually descended from apes. Nope, she'd rather talk about Friends (Bringing up anything about the fact that these "friends" are really just snobs and should all live in a box with Chandler is bad) or worry about the possibility her piece of cake has too many carbs. Again, lucky bastard as I'm sure he'd rather go back to Halo 2.

I'm just teasing. Dating means nothing to me since I don't treat it as such. You like me, fine? I'll talk anything and everything but if you warrant trivial bullshit, outta here! I laughed at how the girls would tell the geeks they were helping to follow certain rules. Can't comment on a girl's cleavage? Well, why does she wear a shirt that obviously makes her tits spill out on to the napkins? You'd think I like this but I actually enjoy it when women dress nicer than using their body parts.

4. How do you girls feel about the word "pussy?" It's driving me nuts that I am actually using this word more after hating it. My friends use the word all the time and I dreaded when it came out of their mouths. The word, to me, was degrading all because it means "weak." I have never ever found the vagina to be like that as it has so much power over men, more than you will ever know.

The whole reason I am using the word "pussy" more is because the word "cunt" has lost much of its meaning. Go back to the "Vagina Monologues" as the author talks of taking back the beauty of the word, "cunt." I'm all for it even if it does strike fear in some girls' hearts.

Words are incredibly odd due to our need to be politically correct. No more of the noun, "midget," but "little person." Do you like that term more? See what I'm getting at? I'm so in love with the word "cunt" that, to me at some point, it was endearing. The power women have over a flaccid penis is commanding it to rise from its southern faced grave. Now, I'm liking "pussy" more and it kind of makes me scratch my head.

Well, I am outta here. No plans for Super Bowl Weekend as I am only holding on to money for another visit to Indiana (hopefully soon). A man misses his girlfriend as that dreaded V-Day is coming up. Do you want me to go into my hatred for Valentine's Day? We'll see..............happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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