-Jarhead

Oh, how I love you Brits! Finally, critics that actually get it when it comes to 50 Cent's movie by saying it has no actual merit. Pointless? Yay, I am so pleased that my blood can actually tell it like it is instead of worshipping things that have no point in being made. If I am caught watching Get Rich Or Die Tryin', it's only to see Joy Bryant's tits.

Another shout out to Spin for its criticism on another pointless CD. That Notorious B.I.G.'s back from the dead remix of cheap beats to once again rape this dead guy's grave is horrible. "F" is the grade as other mags were too shy about saying such things about a guy that looks like a beached whale.

P.Diddly: "Hedgie, Hedgie, can't you see? Sometimes, your words just hypnotize me."

Yeah, and I just love your freaky ways, too, Diddly. Ugh. I wish Diddly would just go away and stop using Notorious's name to make money. Doesn't anyone in the rap community see how pathetic this is? At least put some actual talent to a dead guy's compilations like they did with Frank Sinatra's "Hits."

Another day gone and another day of laundry. That means a little Yorkshire Terrier goes through my pile of dirty clothes to take what she wants, socks and undies. Kinky Yorkies are all the rage as my toes and balls smell wonderful. At least, she didn't take them out into the yard. Ball sniffers but those innocent eyes...........dog owners know what I'm talkin' about, yo.

Reasons why I don't care about Super Bowl Weekend:

1. Bald-O and I have a tradition in which I go down south to watch with the boys on his giant 55-inch high definition TV. Not this year as he has to attend the state championship with his 5th Grade boy's basketball team. Looks like Bald-O has kept his drinking to a minimum as I asked him if he starts all his speeches with: "Listen up, you motherfuckers!"

I miss my best friend, dammit. Boys aren't supposed to be like that so the plan is to make up all this by getting my ass down there in 2 to 3 weeks for the usual bullshittin' and recovery. Sometimes, it's just good to sit around, drink, and yell at each other while Bald-O does the greatest karaoke of The Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody." It has to be seen to be believed. Glorious! Bald-O is glorious!

2. I am so not going to Slut Watcher's Super Bowl Party, a definite alcoholic (Bald-O is, too, but he has charisma and southern hospitality) as I learned when I asked him what kind of beer he likes. "Whatever's on sale." Stay away from people that say this sentence.

Plus, Slut Watcher has been wanting details on my sex life, something I do not share with people that don't see sex as the fun thing you do to express how you feel. It's all just a bunch of calling women "sluts" and "whores" to him. No wonder Slut Watcher isn't getting laid, huh? Bad teeth and will be passed out by half-time.

3. I'm needing to save some money and joining E and her roomies is not something I should do. It's pretty obvious that she's looking to get me at a vulnerable moment while her own ex-boyfriend is trying to get back to sleeping with her.

So, there you have it. Get all your Doritos (or, in Britney's case, a big ass amount of Cheetos) and beer in front of you as you plop your tired ass down to watch another dull Super Bowl. I only watch for the commercials so I guess I am more on the "lady-like" side. However, watch as I start bawling once Jessica Simpson's new commercial airs. Please, take her away.

Speaking of my "lady-like" activities, I got pulled over to the side by a woman that thought I must be a metro-sexual. Me? I sure as hell wasn't dressed well as I was wearing my Pink Floyd red/black long sleeved t-shirt underneath my thuggy Air Jordan coat with jeans. Totally shitty but I felt fine as the day grew warmer.

This lady grabbed my hand and asked if I clean my nails. Me? I don't know any guy that does. She then buffed my fingernail to the point that it was so shiny I could see my reflection. Weird to see as I showed off my nice middle finger's nail to Gay Nick. He even noticed right away the difference between that and the grubby ones.

The funny thing is I cannot stop feeling how smooth this one nail is. Seriously. It's so alien-like as it's shiny while the others are all bumpy from whatever hell I've put them through in the gym. Poor female seller for I am just not going to plop down $20 no matter how pretty my nails are. Even Gay Nick isn't willing to do that.

2 Reasons I hate Valentine's Day:

1. It's the date of when I received a package from Kristan that contained an amazingly well thought out gift. I got a bunch of hard candy hearts, a diary of her intimate thoughts, and a pair of Calvin Klein underwear that stated how she just loved unbuttoning the fly. Shortly after, Kristan and I fought and fought and fought til we ended it in New Mexico at the train station. It was my fault but the date still haunts me.

2. J, oh, how I don't miss thee. Went out on a date with this girl on this very night. Came back to my house with her and had sex. Dated her til the middle of April. It's all here on Diaryland as proof. I just cannot miss a girl that doesn't understand why I enjoy sitting in a comfy chair in Barnes & Noble to read. J found it weird and a waste.

I know there are people that love Valentine's Day but not me. Not ever. Most of the time, I was single on that day and obviously, when I was not, the curse makes itself known. It's always been my opinion that V-Day is all about Hallmark getting itself back in the black. For all those not in the economics know, this means that they make much money to show a profit instead of a loss.

To me, V-Day is kind of half-assed. If you truly like/love/lust your sweetheart, you'd put in effort on each visit instead of just into 1 day. Be passionate in your lovemaking instead of just thrusting til you cum but she doesn't. Don't ignore her on days things don't go right for her. Is romance dead? Hopefully, not.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07