-The Princess Bride

My, my, my. I'm sitting here at my computer as always at this time. My thoughts are on what I'm packing to take with me to Sara's. This is a huge issue with me due to my pickiness as to what I want to wear and worry that it will all be lost. Yes, seriously, I have a fear of losing my clothes.

It all starts so simply. The key is above the door, I use it, and am instantly greeted by the apartment's guard cat, all white with green eyes. She's her usual cute self, following me throughout the apartment begging for attention while I put things here and there. I tend to start with the fridge and then my suitcase ends up in the bedroom. After calling my dad to tell him that I am, once again, safe, that cat and I begin our usual discussion as to who is more deserving of attention.

If you wish to know, it is a cold wet night here thanks to an arctic front making its way downward. I'm not complaining due to my lack of money at this time. Funny how I don't mind being this way temporarily since it not only humbles me but allows me time to think. I swear that daydreaming is a great thing.

So, the news? Playboy Magazine is slowly losing me. First, they interview 50 Cent, someone with little of anything to say. Yes, I read that interview all the way through but found far too much ignorance that made me ask 'why?' Why would you give someone with nothing to say an audience?

My latest gripe has to do with the cover of the March issue just out today. Jessica Alba. Need I say more? Nice looking cover but she's not necessarily in it due to an article listing who was the hottest of women of 2005. Pretty much boring picks as most of these women have nothing beyond their looks. Can we please stop listing Carmen Electra? I don't find her sexy along with Fergie of The Black Eyed Peas.

The reason for my issue with the cover is that Jessica Alba did not pose. So why play with men's already fragile minds? Willa Ford, however, did. Remember her? You probably don't remember the song "I Wanna Be Bad" thanks to it only playing for a few weeks and then tanked but she did date Nick of The Backstreet Boys. Who deserves the cover? The woman that took her clothes off or the girl on a list of who's sexy? Poor Willa for trying to get some attention but ending up like the gum on the bottom of my shoe.

Well, it's Playboy's yearly music issue so they just had to pick this month's interview with another guy I do not like, Kanye West. I know. It sounds like I hate everyone but I just like artists that strive for more than money, fame, and sex. You can add a little humbleness to that as Kanye mouths about how he deserves award after award. I'm sick of this. You make an album and demand to be given awards? You insist on being photographed in Rolling Stone as Jesus or Mohammed Ali? Am I the only one that misses the old days of rockers dissing awards shows as just phoney?

However, I have to give Kanye props for showing Playboy his porn collection. I'm serious! Near the end, Kanye lets the interviewer see what he plays on his DVD player or laptop. Anyone that admits to an enjoyment of porn makes my interest for them go up a little even if I hardly have any. Although, I am tempted to play a hardcore porno on my surround sound system just to see how it would sound. If Jenna Jameson's big epic is in 5.1 Dolby Digital, I'd like that to be the first one.

Remember Ugly and Stinky, my hopeless duo in regards to ever having their cherries popped? Dunzo. According to my boss that I talked to today, Ugly got the hint that Stinky didn't want anything to do with her so she stopped coming by. My boss and I agree that those 2 were destined for each other. He smells so bad while she is just so awful to look at. Add that to Ugly's being reared by mega-religious stepparents and you get more of a reason as to why. I bet she masturbates to his picture that she took on her digital camera each night.

I'm just curious how many girls are reading this diary at this hour while eyeing their sex toy awaiting much abuse to get them through this cold night. Totally awesome!

There's really not a whole lot to say while I feel funny defending Willa Ford's being booted from Playboy's March cover. I saw E and talked to her a bit about the fact that I am taking off for Sara's tomorrow. No boyfriend would ever leave his girlfriend alone on V-Day even if the holiday is completely stupid.

- - 2009-07-07

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