-"Every Breath You Take" by The Police

It's interesting, the power of music. Here I was wanting to just go home after my workout based on biceps and a simmer with abdominals but a faint sound of a beautiful song helped me keep at it. Yes, it was The Police's "Every Breath You Take" coming from the Spin room where people sit on a bike for an hour and just go fucking nuts with the insane instructor presented to you. How this song fit into this workout is beyond me but I enjoyed the short thrill of Sting trying to take a gander at lil' ol' me on the mat doing sit-ups.

You know how girls have issues on whether they should tell other girls about embarassing things that only their sex understands? Things like....oh, I don't know tampons, toilet paper stuck in obvious body cavities, boob popped out of dress or tank top, and legs open a little too much. Get the idea?

Insert a friend I have not seen in a long, long time due to his divorce that I'm sure was based on infidelity on both parts. He let himself go while his wife got tired of the selfishness of whatever takes place in men's minds after 2 years of marriage. Plus, there was a kid and you know how guys tend to feel left out in a marriage once this takes place.

Well, Chris was just sitting there wearing black shorts while his knees were in very opposite directions. His balls were obviously going to hell because they were literally just hangin' there. I'm serious. Chris's black shorts had a huge hole in the crotch that was most noticeable by the white underwear. Again, balls were hanging there and I wondered if I should say something.

They were left to hang.

This all brings me to wonder whether anyone would tell me my big ol' balls (Yes they are big. Just ask Sara) were unveiled to the public. Is this something all us guys should look out for in helping each other? What would a Brokeback Mountain boy do?

For those of you with steel trap minds, this is not the first time Chris allowed his balls to inhale freedom's amazing scent. Nope, way back when, the boy used to allow his short shorts to go too downward while bench pressing with holes in places wind would be so obvious. Trust me. Balls know cold air faster than any other part.

It's been a while since I've talked about the usual gym ettiquete or life where people lift heavy amounts of weight but cry while being forced to do it for a living. It's been what? 4 or 5 days since I had been in there thanks to spending some time in Indiana? It's that competitive drive within me that makes me insane enough to smile during sit-ups.

What undies do you girls like seeing on your guys? I was shocked to see a small muscular Mexican wearing SpongeBob boxers proudly as he walked around the locker room. Normally, when someone wears something like this (Yes, I know how much you hate SpongeBob, Sammy), the guy finds a quiet corner and changes there instead of allowing others to see. A Sponge named Bob that lives in an undersea community is worth adorning a guy's loins? Then again, I don't have a problem with me wearing Underoos again.

So, girls, I'm curious. Boxers, boxer briefs, tighty-whiteys, thong, or commando? Yes, I have seen it all in my own gym.

Crime is going to go up in my town if that possibility becomes reality. Kraft has discussed possible layoffs at the plant in our town. First, we got some Katrina evacuees and now a possible 8,000 jobs disappearing. It's getting scary as work is getting scarcer to find or those that are working end up at a place that they feel they can barely survive. I don't know what I would do if I was forced to work with Clown and Crotch Rot every fucking day.

This used to be a nice town but the people kicked out of Chicago for bad behavior came here. Crime went way up last year while the kids coming with sent a lot of shit happening at the local high schools way up as well. As much as I remember fist fights, well, we've got guns, lots of guns now. Every week, my old high school has the police visit due to a serious issue.

Who else finds Reece's Pieces so addictive? Good gravy, I've already eaten almost half that bag bought in Indiana. Visits to the local custard/ice cream places have me dying to get my hands on snowstorms or blizzards that contain not only that cold yummy sugary taste but these blasted candy shells with peanut butter inside. It's just a matter of time til I'm bloated and in need of the crowbar.

Most of today has been spent reading a few diaries and even adding a new one. It's so hard to find diaries where people don't whine about their day but actually want to share views or show the humor in things. Yeah, I don't know how many of you out there have problems where you don't know whether to tell your friend to put his balls away or not but I do.

I'm also feeling a little better when it comes to all that sadness. The workout made some of it go away but there is a bit that still looms enough to warrant attention. It's possible I just might go up to my room and play The Police's DVD containing all their music videos in digital. "Don't Stand So Close To Me" is one of my favorites as it really shows how times have changed.

Of course, my feeling better makes me feel pretty bad about my time in Indiana. 2 days in, I wasn't my usual jolly self as that bout of depression hit after that nasty headache. Sara deserved better than that even if we had a good time discussing obscenities in bed til close to 5am.

Speaking of how times have changed, do you realize the rise in sexual predators? It's not surprising as I would like to make clear that I am not okaying this. We've got waves of teenage girls dressing like they stand on the corners yet we have people asking why so many men go after them. Isn't it obvious the results of how 10-year-olds insist they need thongs or how high schoolers wear barely anything? People act like this is such a surprise. Andrea Zuckerman, where are you?

Editor: "And that would be your 90210 joke?"

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