-Hostel

First of all, there is a special thing when it comes to describing a dog's special love for its boy. That little butt of hers wiggles out of sheer joy at the mere sight of me, Buffy. When she wants a snack, she can be very persuasive by running up and down my back during a nap, just stopping at my shoulders to stare at me with those eyes:

"Are you awake?"

You just cannot nap when you have the cutest little furry bitch that I have to babysit each day. Man, I just love dogs and, yes, Buffy, looks just like a little muppet.

2 more days of this arctic cold air harassing me. Balls are very sensitive to temperature as mine seem to be blue all day.

I was thinking a little bit today. No, it wasn't on purpose but it came about in my realizing that Rent comes out on DVD tomorrow. Has there ever been a movie that can really depict the gay lifestyle or better yet.........can Hollywood show it in a very honest portrayel? Do you get what I'm wondering?

Let's take Brokeback Mountain. It's getting all these awards but I've yet to find a single person that saw it for being as grand as these awards portray it. First of all, I'll agree with Bill Maher in calling it "Gay For A Day." Both characters have families and are in relationships with women so why is it that these fishing meet-ups have Heath and Jake gay?

Gay Nick puts it more bluntly:

"The Vagina is ugly. Yuck!"

Okay, I'll disagree with Gay Nick on the beauty of the female genitals but he has a point. When does a person just suddenly want the same sex of another person? Could it be that Jake and Heath's characters are just bi-sexual? I've dated a bi-sexual girl but it wasn't quite like that at all. You either have this tendency for someone that is stronger than the other. That's it. J lusted for guys but found women fun but that still doesn't explain Brokeback Mountain's, oh, so amazing gay performance.

I've also noticed that a lot of movies tend to have a homosexual character. The stronger he/she is, the more likely AIDS will be brought up. It's like punishment or something that gets into the ignorant audience's psyche.

It's funny to me how I'm dwelling on all this since I'm meeting more and more gays in my gym. Seriously. Nicole has her girlfriend 5 hours away. Along with her comes a male friend that is gay. There is, of course, Gay Nick and we all know how fun he is when I dance really bad in front of him. My gym has a bunch more that are obvious but don't want to be known.

If you have a problem with gays, I cannot understand why. They serve you in restaurants, deliver your mail, act, and yes, they even urinate nearby you when you're in stall number 2. So what if they don't act the way you want them to.

I have Brokeback Mountain so I'm tempted to see it but first I had to pop Hostel in due to my already knowing where this loopy movie came from. It's by the same director of Cabin Fever also known as the movie where a girl shaves her legs and all the skin comes off. Sucks to have the flesh eating virus, yo.

Hostel, a fine little dementedly gross flick, comes from the good old Internet and originated in Thailand. There are people out there willing to sell their bodies to rich people in order to pay off debts, etc. In other words, $25,000 can help your sister's medical expenses but, hey, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. Yikes, and it aint nice since those mean old rich guys will use whatever instrument they want to. The scene where the guy gets his toes cut off may not be your cup of tea.

According to the researcher, the website devoted to selling your body is long gone but the legend lives on. Just be weary if incredibly hot women come on to you, fuck you, and insist you take drugs. Waking up in a chair while a guy smiles as he is about to operate on a real live corpse is not fun. But, hey, you fucked a woman that looks like a supermodel.

Things I do not understand about girls:

1). Why are y'all so mean to each other? I've seen so many girls in my gym say shit about how another girl dresses or looks once they walk by. You take a group of friends and they will just pick on whoever they find weak. Guys do this, too, but not nearly as bad. I am still hoping to see my second cat fight because that first one was awesome!

2). Underwear. If you don't want guys trying to sneak peeks up your shorts, why wear such tiny pieces of fabric in my gym where you know you'll be bending over? Sitting on bar stools brings out the Thong Game where we guys will try to count out the most sightings of them. I'll admit it is sexy at times if you've got body and the don't-give-a-shit attitude since you know all guys are visual creatures. My sometime gym partner, Kim, doesn't care if guys look up her shorts.

3). Clothes. Not everyone can look like the old Britney Spears. Even she doesn't look like it due to a gut that seems to make an appearance every 2 days depending how drunk K-Fed got her. Just wear clothes since women with stomachs hanging over pants do not look good no matter how hot it is outside. Remember that spandex is a priviledge, not a right. A girl can be extremely sexy even when wearing clothes that cover her. This can go for guys as well since beer bellies are tragic.

4). It's a freakin' phone but that doesn't mean you need to be on it alllllll the fucking day. Who cares if your best friend needs to know you are in line at Sam's Club buying a case of tampons. Those sticks of dynamite should be shoved up your asshole instead as I'm sure the person at the register wishes to do while you yack away. It's rude to tell her to wait for you to finish your discussion while there are other people behind you.

5). Stop dressing little girls like sluts. I've just come home from the gym after seeing what I cannot believe. There were 2 13-year-olds with tight white tank tops and workout pants very low. The worst was the fact that the parents were both in there with them. I'm not joking. There is another parent that comes once a week and allows her little girl to wander around in lycra shorts and a sports bra. While watching other guys' reactions, they, too, were shaking their heads in disgust.

So, other than that, I'm doing just fine as I read a chapter of "Fingerprints Of the Gods" by Graham Hancock each day. Saw the last 15 minutes of the 1984 science fiction movie, Dune, and found it interesting. Somebody make Sting play psychos again because the adding of orange hair to his spiked look was perfect. How the hell did Dune get seen as the most horrible sci-fi movie? I'm sure it was all those different versions where things were left out since everyone gets confused as to how to ride a giant worm.

Sean Young in Dune.........hello! Meow! Woof woof! Pulled back hair and those blue eyes! I didn't even recognize my little Richard Gear cowgirl rider from An Officer And A Gentleman. The spice may be life but Sean caused a party in my pants thanks to all those fetishes at once.

- - 2009-07-07

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