-The Simpsons

I'm kind of a weird movie goer. I'll sit around and think for a while about a movie til I realize I just might need it after all. With a giant collection, my needs need to be very to the point. Keeping track of things is a pain in the ass. Just how would you store that many DVDs and keep Reform School Girls as lusturous as you first got it?

There is a point that I am impressed with myself. Yeah, I know but it's a good kind of impressed since I can easily handle Sara's just telling me the flick is "okay" while it makes me jump up and down like a woman realizing she just squated to pee on a huge amount of poison oak. Am I the only one that has a tendency to talk to the characters?

Alas, there is a great disturbance as my cult collection portion was remarkably satisfied. Mine's a 2-dollar whore pointing up to a sign that says "Eat Here" during heavy traffic while the other pointing goes down to her crotch barely concealed by Strawberry Shortcake boy shorts. You know that no matter how many are served, the beast needs to be fed.

My beast, a beast of cult classics that I need. You can start all that with the television series of Dave Chappelle, Dark Angel with Jessican Alba, Airplane, Repo Man, Stone Cold with "The Boz," or American Anthem. Why the last 2 are only available in Europe I will never know. Someday, I'll find myself with the lovely Julie and her amazing synthesizer of sound. How do you contact movie studios to release the shit only you and I watch?

A long time ago, I freaked out over violence. You see, I was not allowed to watch movies that showed things. Sex and nudity were okay but Terminator and things like that were a big no-no. Begging and pleading got my nowhere but TBS did. One afternoon of watching this normall dull station, they aired something that stunned me, something that made me fear high school.

Ever hear of Class Of 1984? It's the freakiest thing to ever come out that was ahead of its time. Parts of it look like the loveliness of Toxic Avenger due to the exploitative thing but the rest is all movie. A part of me is still fascinated with punks, real punks that aren't like today's. They were poor, slept on dirty floors, stuck pins in their ears or noses, wore mohawks, and torn fishnets. Even London's calling had them as you'd hear about all this underground music only occasionally photographed if Johnny Rotten didn't bite your head off.

So, Class Of 1984 is considered quite a cult classic where a gang of punks led by a young Timothy Van Patten rule the high school halls. My god, I loved this guy's style and never forgot it even when I was growing up and allowed my balls to be covered by Calvins. That's how the movie got to me even as the violence is what most people were talking about, even prompting one screenwriter to leave. What Class Of 1984 was trying to tell you was that it was coming and it was coming big.

"We are the future..........and no one can stop us."

I don't know. Take a small portion of ultraviolence from A Clockwork Orange, add Jim Belushi's doomed principal from The Principal, and have real punks dress your stars. This aint 90210 and your teachers will fear the kids so much to the point that they start bringing handguns to force you to learn. Interesting? Try teaching in Chicago.

The year was 1982 and Robert Ebert put it best after viewing Class Of 1984: "It grabbed me." Me, too, as I have never seen the last half of it. Of course, TBS censored quite a bit as my DVD is going to show me a hell of a lot of what I was missing while a gang of punks ruled the hallways. Class Of 1984 gets more interesting when the leader is shown to be smarter than you realize by playing to both sides of the school. Plus, he killed Michael J. Fox! Alex got knifed in the cafeteria!

What will we do, baby? With our love?

Oh, well. That's why I'm a little giddy today, the release of Class Of 1984 as my cult classic collection grows. Gotta thank Anchor Bay for making DVDs cheap and for those that think a bit beyond the Dukes Of Hazzard crowd. I've always been a bit fascinated with punks and even tried to watch Valley Girl until I hated Nicholas Cage's awful impression of one. Class Of 1984 would tear his head off for representing them as weak.

Can anyone tell me where The Lost Boys shop because those duds are my kind of look as well.

I've printed this before way, way in the past but I thought I'd bring it up again. Christians talk of how great they are and how true they are to their religion. Sometimes, they need a good swift kick in the ass:

Your God Requires

1. Blood Sacrifice

2. Subjugation Of Women

3. Anihilation Of Cities

4. Slaughter Of Multiudes

5. Unquestioned Obedience

6. Murder Of His Own Son

7. Destruction By Flood

And As A Grand Finale............

8. He Plans To Destroy The World By Fire!

And you wonder why I'm a Pagan? It's always funny to me how Christianity brags about how they follow their beliefs to a t or how their are specific passages in that pathetic book of stories on how homosexuality is wrong. What do they do when some kid doesn't "Honor thy mother and father?" Apparently, it's like that line-item vetoing thing where you can select certain things that you'll follow.

I don't know what else to say since I've been a little down. Some of it is over nervousness about the orientation on Tuesday since I don't like to put all my feelings into things. There's that fear that it's going to be so awful that I'll be staring out the window while I die a slow death at work. People with creativity tend to suffer while those that are so obsessed with the love of work make us look bad.

While throwing away old magazines that seem to just pop up all over my room, I skimmed through to find cute little articles on what women think of penises. I'm a guy that gets a huge kick out of knowing the female mind so it was sweet to find that the most important penis is the one attached to their boyfriends or husbands. So, it's not like girls go out there on some kind of mission to talk boys into unzipping their pants for private inspections. It's more like a time for outdoor meals with the girls as they spot a large rhinocerous with lust on his mind in the yard.

"Mike's is much bigger."

At least, I would hope Sara would say that. Knowing her bluntness, I'd more likely go with "Mike's is a little less than half that but his gigantic balls make up for it."

*Girls giggle*

So, I am outta here as I am hoping for a new Veronica Mars episode after being left with too many reruns. Damn mystery has me in cahoots after being left at a very major climax. It's not nice to leave me hanging. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

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