-"Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung

Did you ever watch Sesame Street? Well, if you have an amazing photgraphic memory, I feel like I am that kitten constantly doing its best to climb up some stone steps while a guy starts singing that catchy tune:

Man: "Trying........trying again."

*Cat falls down and attempts the climb again.*

Man: "Trying.........trying again."

Yeah, I'm that kitten but there is a gang of hoodlums that keep trying to step on me as I wage war on as many of their feet as possible, complete with fangs and claws out. The outcome is that I end up looking like dog turd meets sneaker. I dunno. I suck.

It was that hope that I would finally get out of the crap that I constantly am forced to deal with, my old job. What I want is an environment that contains smart people with actual empathy and character. That description alone is much better than working with people that do not bathe, smell like ass or cauliflower, or resemble a possibility of eating flies when left alone in a room.

Why did I not get the fucking job!?! Good grief, I tried my best on the fucking test, you sonsofabitches! I took my time as best I could on answering to the point that I now wonder if I am just not a credible test taker or I'm as loopy as a gravity evoked tit. Did I put "A" instead of "D" since there are times where the letters can look similar?

So, I lay there looking up at the ceiling in my room while my little dog, Buffy, was on neighborhood watch patrol. It was a constant battle within myself to not go outside and take a few wacks at the ground. I'm just not into hitting trees, folks. If there was a boxing ring, I'd love to go a few rounds with a little person since I have zero experience. Even under anger, I know my limits.

Question: "Have you ever been angry enough at your parents that you wanted to hurt them?"

See that question above? It was on the personality test that the company had me answer. Isn't that an odd one? I got to thinking about some of the others as well and came up with the conclusion that this whole thing was a complete fucking farce. Most questions seemed to wonder if you were a yes-man.

I think you and I both know the answer to that.

I don't know how to put it but I was just so angry and have been trying to come up with some decent employment rather than the crap possibly awaiting me at seasonal once again. Anything but a night with Stinky, please!

Some statistics were put out recently on employment for those fresh out of college. 70% of these kids move back in with their parents thanks to the job market being as bad as it is. Thankfully, I have no student loans as my mother keeps telling me. Yes, I practically got a free ride thanks to scholarships, etc. but I worked hard. I drank but I did my damn homework!

Now, I cannot deny that there is sadness within me. Some of me doesn't even want to go to Bald-O's but I've got my mother urging me on. Somehow, it feels like she is insisting I get drunk out of my goddamn mind and urinate on as many trees/bushes/houses. Drunk plus penis is kinda cool, yo.

The reason I wanted to lock this diary was over the fact that I didn't want to whine, even if I am doing it now. You shouldn't be subjected to my falls but entertained while chock full of Hedgie incites on life's little hits and misses. Anyone that can poop in front of pigeons or take the time to race their students is cool with me. Just bring matches and a good sports bra.

You know what? I think one of the biggest things I just cannot get is how Georgie boy got a job. Sure, he went to Yale but it's not like he uses any skills while being president. This recent video of George getting word on the levees not being able to hold up the day before Katrina sure shocked me. Remember how he then went on TV to tell of how no one thought that the levees were as weak as they were? Why does this man even have a job????

Oh, and, Sammy, I wasn't talking about Dubya's daughters but the state governors running for office now. They alway end it with how they sit around the kitchen or dinner table telling you how great they are with their kids. Keep the fucking kids out, please. It scares me when people running for governor insist on showing how great they are after all the money laundering or time spent with various strippers at the capitol.

Funny thing? There are pictures of a certain well known daughter thinking no one was watching while changing into a swimsuit on the beach. Her twat was awful to look at, a rodent run over and wedged up her ass. Nasty stuff and not surprising since she was shown dancing on tables (big hint!) while drunk. Good advice for all my male readers (possibly 1 or 2), don't ever go down on a drunk chick since they tend to smell like pee.

So, I am trying to regain a bit of composure after a good Sammy yelling at me to pick myself back up. Off to Bald-O's with a digital camera to hopefully add something when I can use that damn port upstairs. Just how many beers can I hold after what it feels like no-case-in-belly-since-July 4th?

Thanks to all those that just seemed to email me right away after my little issue. Geez, it's like everyone is waiting for me to hit the "Done!" button here on Diaryland. That's a nice feeling, that people have my back during all these fucked up times. I'll be back as I'll be too busy to update tomorrow.

Is it any wonder why I want to spend a weekend with Sammy, Summer, and Lu-Lu? Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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