-My fortune cookie fortune from lunch with Sara on Sunday

According to MTV's 8th & Ocean, we learn that only in Miami is there a place for "Models For Christ." Of course, that means we are going to have to go through the whole dilemma of a young model needing tissues or calling Mommy thanks to dealing with crotch shots and possible boob slippage. Personally, I don't know how this will work since I would expect some sort of nudity in all forms of modelling. In fact, I'd welcome doing it.

So, what do you say to your boyfriend/girlfriend having trouble getting in the apartment door due to holding a tasty pizza? You say, "Was that you making all that noise that caused the cat to stare at the door?"

Isn't that like the ultimate fantasy for most guys, girl with pizza? Since it was such a nice night, I lay out on my car's hood prior to Sara's coming home from work. Yeah, I tend to stare at the stars when I am quite comfortable at feeling the breeze blow up my shorts while staring at the stars. Every now and then, I'd get a cat to stare at me or Sara's cat trying to get me to play with her at the window. I love warm nights like Friday's.

Of course, it's cold now...........poop.

What I was doing prior to my usual need to mind meld with the stars or hope that felines take a gander up my shorts, was watching Rent. Like I said before, it's not bad while I found the Benny character to be a bit weak. Trust me. I was going into this story completely unknowing of anything about this show.

What's hard for me to do is keep things a secret since I enjoy sharing my spoils. Okay, maybe this is part of my charm as I told Sara that I didn't want Rent back. Picture a puzzled look on her face only to turn into a huge smile as I told her it's hers. Yes, I may have wanted to see what the fuss was about but also give a gift that I had trouble keeping quiet about.

Yes, I know I am spoiled and I always try to give portions back to people around me. Bald-O gets posters of naked women every now and then since he tends to like staring at large boobies and fantasizing as to what it is like to stick a finger in a girl's butt (you have to meet him to understand this part). Sara gets food, DVDs, and the occasional magazine with Viggo Morteson to fawn over.

Obviously, I am forgiven if I turn the discussion into how amazing Keira Knightley is and, yes, I could do an entry every fucking day just to annoy you people. So bring.........it.........on. Sara has to listen and so do you. I've always believed that everyone should have a vice and mine just so happens to be the most gorgeous actress in the world.

Boo-ya!

Oh, and I've been reading Entertainment Weekly's take on the Oscars and would like to add something. Jon Stewart pointed out how it was great the the rap group, 3 6 Mafia, was so happy to win an award yet others accepting gave the appearance of being bored. Well, why was it that these actors and actresses were more animated when talking of what designer did the clothes yet look like the rest of the show sucked? Jon was funny. Hollywood is dumb. Well, except George Clooney, a man that brings back humor and class.

Sara, yes, I know you do not like Clooney so do not get all loopy on me or I will sing the Karate Kid 2's love theme again at lunch. This, I command!

By the way, I feel as if I can admit to liking Pride & Prejudice due to a major pull from the masculine side of whatever the hell keeps me seeing my balls roll down the street. I've spent a good 30 minutes tonight in deep discussion on what I saw on that Sopranos Season 6 premiere thanks to my former boss's sharing of love for that show. What happened? Will *insert name here* be okay?

Oh, the things you'd hear from 2 guys talking about Sopranos as the discussion soon turns to the newest issue of "Playboy" and its guest star, Candice Michelle. Did I like the models' bushes or non-bushes? Who's gonna be in the newest issue? Is it a rumor that Jennifer Love Hewitt will pose?

Just how many guys would shell out $5.99 for pictures of Jennifer Love's hooters?

And so I bid adieu as my weekend was spent getting my ego stroked as to Sara's telling me that my penis barely fits in her mouth even while holding it to demonstrate this to me. My-oh-my what a wonderful day to bring up the perallels of oral sex and then some! We will so have to discuss what I've learned from girls and their dealing with things down there on those that are well hung, huh? Unfortunately, my mother is pushing me to go into surgery so ego-stroking is short lived when I've never been under the knife before.

Tomorrow, an extra special entry for an extra special young woman that made me a happy critter gone wild. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07