As if all the other Googlings were just impressively original! Now, I get the above and they dare ask me this question on whether I poop'd in the refrigerator!?! Has my diary become THE place for all those with too much time on their hands and far too much dirtiness in their minds? I'm sure [insert "Mexican" girl's name here that tends to fall off of machines in the gym] would love a go at this question.

At least my day isn't so bad that a moment spent being surrounded by cops did not find me cutting off my penis and throwing it at them. Give up? Hell no! It's the ultimate fate of a tallywacker! Only a coward would lay down on the ground to be cuffed. Penises do not belong in jail. Fly away, willy! Fly!

I don't know about you but finding a website that collects each day's insane behavior be it foreign or domestic is just plain gold, yo. Yes, there was an actual guy that decides the best method in dealing with an arrest is to cut off his penis and throw it at the cops. Man, I would bet you any amount of money that this would be the guy you'd want at your party. Forget Steve-O! Give me the guy that will cut off his ding-a-ling and throw it around the room.

Ah, life. Like I said, that website is a great one that when combined with pictures of various naked women that just cannot seem to keep their shirts (or pants, yay!) on when a camera is present on days you feel like shit. Well, kind of feel like shit in that you find you were not even considered for some of the lamest jobs around. Wow. I cannot even be looked at as a guy that can keep score for testing center?

Yeah, I thought it would be great to look into things on the employment front due to my being back n' all. Feeling great til you find that a human resources (we are all just meat or numbers) department says I am not worthy. It's just amazing what I do with all this time after others would kill themselves.

"What!?! They say I....cannnot...add!?! What about subtraction? That, too!?! Man, does everyone think I suck?"

I'll never forget that letter to the local newspaper on how bad employment practices are in this town. There was even a survey on all this that showed how low our town is. I live in a nice large city but it feels like the only people worth banking on are employers using their unworthy kids, spoiled kids that come to work in Porsches or brand new cars.

Meanwhile, our school superintendent gave himself a $60,000 raise after telling the district there is nothing in the budget for teachers. Well, add that raise to the 30% he added to his buddies' salaries and I wonder just who is conning who.

I saw my first "little person" in such a long time. Well, I actually call them midgets since that sounds way cooler. Plus, I'm not politically correct. The midget looked at me and I looked at the midget. This is hard when you have a mouth the way I do since I just wanted to ask if everything is bigger to them. Be it, scissors, buildings, cars, and everything around, is it all bigger? What does it feel like to talk to someone as you come face to face with their crotch?

*If I were a midget, I'd go buy a pocket bike from a toy store because it would be cheaper than a car and would look cool once you add a little flag to the back while wearing goggles. Never heard of a pocket bike? It's like a kid's motorcycle that goes up to 30 mph. Older teens were getting in trouble for using pocket bikes on the roads.*

Yeah, I know I sound mean but I'm not. My curiousity is extremely high as that's why I read so much. What is it like to be a midget? Do people pick on you or treat you in an odd manner? Plus, do you realize how scared I am of you? I am almost deathly afraid of midgets since the sight of a live one makes me feel a slight dizziness inside. That's why I had to have a moment in the bookstore when she looked at me at the same time I looked at her.

So, you've caught me. I have a fear of water, midgets, and some other things I cannot remember at the moment. Every now and then, I worry about aging as it's hard to do in these days where youth rules.

As for that flick, Ultraviolet.....weird. Very fucking weird movie where Summer points out that a fight doesn't become a fight. There was a point where Violet (Mila Jovovich's character) just stares down opponents to kill them. Some of the fight scenes were pretty damn impressive, short but impressive in how smooth the sword fighting went.

It's funny how Ultraviolet spent a few moments in which the camera is directly on Mila's nicely toned ass. I mean, this is one of the most gorgeously clothed asses so why not put the camera so close that we can see no panty lines, just pinchable cheeks I'd like to lick the sweat off of.

You've got a good point, Summer. The final fight that takes place in the dark but only lit by fires found on the opponents' swords was interesting. However, I have a huge hatred for how dull some of these sci-fi movies see the future. If you looked around Ultraviolet's thoughts on this, you'd see nothing but a bland color scheme where people are found wearing the same thing. I'm sure Abercrombie & Fitch would be proud but at least Violet's whole outfit changes color depending on how she feels. Wish I could just turn my whole cargo pants into a black design while the image of a Scottish griffith makes itself well known.

Sad to say that I'd still like to get my hands on the DVD of Ultraviolet. An amazing ass belonging to Mila, sword fights, and some weird shit that still makes me wonder what the fuck I just saw won me over.............barely. They better add some more to this barely 1 hour and 30 minutes to pay back some that felt they lost their lives in the theater.

As for me and how I feel, I am just waiting til I go through that extreme muscle soreness thanks to not having been in the gym for a week. Of course, I went at it hard-core (only lost 5% on biceps) as very few of my friends showed up. If Gay Nick has the flu, I am not going near him. I took the time to tell a very pretty college girl that I love her blue sneakers since I am such a sneaker pimp. Normally, I love red more but her blue Nikes were very nice as I just had to comment. I'm probably seen as gay by her but what do I care. People think I'm odd that I can talk to Gay Nick so easily along with my favorite lesbian, Nicole.

So, with all that in mind, I am outta here. The rain and that dreaded telling of no possible employment make it a rather dull day. At least, I have not thrown my penis at anyone. I'm just stark raving mad to have actually liked Ultraviolet. Now, bring on King Kong and Memoirs Of A Geisha! Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07