-A Nightmare On Elm Street

So, Katie Holmes had a baby girl today and the Scientology jokes come out to play! Let's see here. I picture 2 kids in 3rd Grade discussing heroin addicts as we all know that's on their minds these. Ya know, with California kids needing to shoot up n' all thanks to having weird folks that jump up and down on furniture. It'll always end with Cruise's kid saying:

"Well, my daddy can cure a heroin addict in 2 days! Oh, and by the way, your Ritalin addiction is getting to me. Please, move away. You're glib."

Maybe it's just my mental state as to knowing Tom Cruise has spawned something that will be put before us. The amount of pictures and money being offered for first sighting of it is going to be overwhelming and good use of publicity for Mission Impossible 3. Suddenly, I have no more desire to see Top Gun as Kenny Loggins's music videos will do.

Kenny: "It's metal under tension, beggin' you to touch and go. Highway to the danger zone!"

Kenny rocked and you know it. Plus, he got married in the nude. Beat that or you're just gonna be glib.

So, the town council has voted and we will be getting police officers in the middle and high schools. Wonderful as I'm sure thousands of white kids are happy that they can keep their lunch money and sneakers. I kid, I kid. I'm sure Sammy would give you hell if you try to get her Teddy Grahams cuz nobody fucks with a brown girl eating straight out of the box.

Notice me in a good mood? It's all false as I'm really quite miserable. I cannot deny that in a world of idiots, I'm lonely as hell. Too many people I know are becoming overworked dull cubicle diehards that need a break so bad. All I want is a conversation that is completely warped and full of expletives. How many think I will fall in love with HBO's Deadwood even if there are a lot of "fucks" in The Sopranos, 1 every 2 minutes.

How about our little private eye, Veronica Mars? This show just keeps getting better and better after a Season 1 that found me in constant turmoil over who killed her best friend. Now, it's a bus crash where we have...........oh, say about 15 suspects as we once again have Logan on display for bad behavior. As girly as it's gonna sound, I totally heart Veronica Mars.

It saddens me how regular TV has dumbed itself down while shows as smart as Veronica Mars is begging for viewers. Pathetic karaoke is that much better than a show that tries to get you to use your head? Please, I'm enjoying something that keeps me wondering as clue after clue is placed before me. Geez, we've got a bit too many but don't you love it how everything comes together? C'mon, turn that pathetic white boy's mic off and learn what gets a beautiful blonde and her private eye father all riled up.

So, what do you do with your old clothes or things that don't fit? A large trash bag full of stuff, good stuff, that I can no longer find myself wearing left my house today. All of it goes into the hands of a family my mom has known for a long time. It was extremely hard to part with my Pac-Man t-shirt while old Guess shorts from way back when adorned my little derriere. Yes, there are days I hate how big I got as a shirt that matches my blue eyes is a great thing.

Oh, in case you didn't get the memo, gas prices are about to rise again. Just thought I'd let ya know while my state's Democrat is asking for Rumsfeld's firing. Like the Bush Administration is willing to part with someone so evil. Evil must congregate all at once or its power will will allow light and fairness for all.

Snakes On A Plane? Well, I so love ya Sam Jackson but you are going downhill fast. How many think it should be the other way around? Tom Cruise should be in that movie while Sam Jackson is saving the world and enjoying great vengeance on gimps everywhere.

HD-DVD? I've been reading a guy's website on his first testing of one. Still thinking about getting one? Well, it'll take you about a minute til the disc tray opens for you to insert a neat-o HD-DVD. I don't have a minute. I want to watch Dirty Dancing right now or I'll be too upset to enjoy that lovely soundtrack y'all make fun of me for liking.

Editor: "Actually, a certain girlfriend of yours did that. I agree. "Hungry Eyes" is one of the best out there. Tee-hee."

So, with all that in mind, I'm going to debate things in my head that I want to get into as topics. What are they? Teenage girls getting rich by exposing themselves on the 'Net and gynacology (is it a myth?). C'mon, you knew I was so gonna go there eventually.

July 3: Nine Inch Nails, Bauhaus, and Peaches. You know it, baby. All you people into good music that means there will definitely not be a Clay Aiken sighting come on out to play with us.

I'd like to give a shout out to my funniest Google of the week. "How do you fuck a girl doggy style?" Good gravy, if you haven't figured this out, you have no right to be fucking. Should a book be published with step by step instructions on this amazing position that guarantees drops of sweat on a girl's ass as the guy gives it the ol' "in n' out?" I'm amazed since this is the one position I've heard people start with while mine was more advanced. You just cannot go wrong with "The Cowgirl."

After all my achey eyes due to allergies, I hope y'all had better days than me. To Hoar, I'd like to tell you that I would dump hot sauce in psycho's meal along with a couple of well-timed goobers that include stuff caught in between teeth. Hiss, I love dogs. Any pics of dogs make my day a bit better. Miss Petals, long live the punks for I thought about The Clash today. Sammy, I love waking up to find a note that tells it like it is. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07