-Veronica Mars

Alas, I am sick from allergies. I haven't felt this bad since I had the flu while at Sara's. Wasn't that the shit? Me coming to see her only to get the chills right when I walked in the door. My body is such a mess.

To put it mildly, life with allergies is no picnic. With a nose that runs constantly, a majorly sleepless night with a clogged up nose and head, sneezing every few minutes, and a sudden turn at getting chapped lips, let's just say that I am a bit weirded out to be feeling as if I have a cold.

FYI: Boogers suck.

You know what? I've always wanted to rename Buffy as "Boogers" because she always sounds as if she has a stuffed up nose. When you pick her up, there will be this sudden snorting mechanism working. My mom says it's a dog's way of saying she loves you but I just chalk it all up to major boogers. I already knew that little dog loved me. Just look at the way she stares at me each day.

So, on with the show!

Despite my time sneezing, I still went to the gym. Big mistake. Didn't even get to put some major emphasis on things as you know how I love to grunt and strain through each lift. My partner that helps me get through my weights safely had to leave. You'll never guess why.

Twins. The dude is about to become a father of twins. When I said, "That means 2 college educations," he just looked at me with a slow "yeah." I've met his wife as she used to come into the gym from time to time. As far as this guy goes, it is so rare to see a white guy with major muscle since most are at home eating or watching TV. Most of the ones in my gym have major spare tires as well but at least they try.

Oh, and I've already heard it all in regards to me being a dad. Women and girls in college have told me that with this personality, I could be a great one as you'll easily find me on the floor with toys and making all kinds of noises. When I was little, I had a huge imagination from not only Lloyd Alexander books but this urge to think of my G.I.Joe figures as real people out to explore.

"Pip, pip tallyho!"

When I was at the babysitter's, after private Catholic school was finished for that day, I'd watch the girls living in the house and how they'd play. I just couldn't understand what was so interesting as pretending to drink tea or to explore a small plastic house. My toys were out in the front yard, up in a tree, or buried due to some insanse need to test if people could find them. Would all that be something that would warrant me to being a good dad?

I have no interest in being a parent no matter how good I can make choo-choo noises or belly-farts. Even those seem to make Sara giggle.

Not only does this year bring forth another Nick Lachey solo album destined to be sunk, it feels like last year as we await another Tom "Pass me the turkey baster as I fuck this bitch" Cruise. Last year, it was War Of the Worlds (not horrible but that ending........ick) and this year is Mission Impossible 3. Sorry to say this but it looks good but I'm not interested in paying to help Tom brag about how amazing he is while holding up his newborn.

I'm still suspicious of Katie Holmes, folks. She doesn't say much while being pulled around by Tom. Plus, Katie doesn't quite seem like Katie. The really odd thing? I've read that her parents didn't even know she gave birth til a reporter told them. C'mon, Tom, what happened to that ol' "Sometimes, you've gotta say 'What the fuck?'"

That was my introduction to this entry's sudden desire to go elsewhere. What I was about to blurt out was how I'm not sure if I am looking forward to the Summer Movie Releases. All I've got on my scorecard is X-Men 3: The Last Stand, Superman Returns, and possibly 1 or 2 others. I'll have to do more homework on what I'm looking forward to so keep in mind that I'll have a list.

Republicans. They ruin everything as one is possibly going to get his way at banning sex toys in South Carolina. Bastard. Doesn't he know that the state will have a major drop in population as 1,000's of single women and a couple hundred married women will leave. Whatever happened to a night where a gal, coming home from work, can put on some Dexy's Midnight Runners, light thousands of candles, and spend the rest of the night in complete buzzing bliss?

You can laugh all you want but I'll say this again in a serious manner. There are people out there with deformities or handicaps that warrant them as not being interesting by the population. Everyone out there deserves to have sex and some of these people might need the help of a mechanical device. Don't you feel a little frustrated when you haven't had an orgasm? Think about those people and how they may never get a sexual release if this freedom is taken away.

Yeah, that's right. Vote Hedgehoggy. He'll make sure all of ya start your day right, with a couple hundred orgasms. By the way, I'll be off to see Sara so she's getting many, many tingles all over soon. I'm gonna try that thing you mentioned, Stepford.

Oh, and if you're slowly getting into that addictive surgery show, might I suggest that recent episode that aired. A woman that realized she wanted to be a man has to slowly make her way while taking hormone pills. The clever thing that the show did was introduce "her" as a him. I would never have guessed. "He" has to start out slow by growing things. First, a small penis will happen and then balls will be added. Well, I never thought I could be seen as a project, but okay.

Plus, you had the added surgery of labiaplasty which is basically cutting off portions of the inner and outer labia due to discomfort from being too large. Only takes a few hours but she can't have sex for 6 weeks. Would you want your mom in the room with you while you spread 'em for the doctor? That's what this college girl did so it was very odd to watch the mom nod in agreement that her daughter's yum-yum was much better looking.

To finalize it all, we got to see how anal bleaching is done. I told you this show was addictive! First, while on all 4's, the asshole is waxed and then a cream like substance is added to turn the asshole pink again. With age, it gets darker and, no, it's not from what you think. I swear this show is addictive when you have all these lesser well-known forms of surgery or bodywork.

So, moral of the story? You can grow balls litterally, make your pussy feel better when wearing spandex, and have an asshole you feel free to show everyone. I wouldn't be surprised if one day guys can add a dick to their foreheads. The nicknames will be endless.

So, I'm off as I find myself steamed over Bush's way to decrease fuel costs. His basic way to deal with this is to lower the standards in creating it by allowing more pollution. That means less ethanol and possibly the right to drill more. It seems like everything Bush does is absolutely the wrong thing to do. Did anyone read about our poor Earth's rapid death? I don't care what you say. I still wish we had a car that ran on urine because I can fill that sucker up in no time. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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