Randy: "Oh, good."

Jive Lady: "He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him."

Randy: "All right, would you tell him to relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with sine medicine."

Jive Lady: "Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da rebound on da med side."

Okay, I'm going to elaborate a little more on my previous rant since I got a little inspired by a letter to our local paper. In this letter, an Australian tells of how he cannot understand why so many people are up in arms about Bush, as bad a president as he has proven himself to be. In some ways, I'm sure people would take offence as we Americans are described as dumb enough to vote for this idiot in office. Should I take offence?

No, in fact I love how someone could elaborate what I've been saying all these years. The general population in America is dumb, not as dumb as Harry and Lloyd (Dumb And Dumber, anyone? Awesome movie!) but quite stupid enough to allow such an event to happen. I did not vote for Bush but somehow that 50 something in percentage thought Bush would lead us to victory or whatever war is going on in his mind.

-I never believed those stupid color codes about possible terrorist attacks.

-I read about Bush's governing in Texas and how it's been rated as the most pollution filled state.

-I read about Bush's grades in college: 1 "F," some "D's," and mostly "C's."

-I've seen how Bush does not understand the English language nor does he bother trying to learn correct pronunciations.

-It kills me to see how Bush pushes this bullshit in schools in which we no longer come from apes but hocus pocus.

-Bush's No Child Left Behind Act does not work and I doubt he'd even be able to pass Grade 5 and up.

I could go on but this whole rant is not necessarily at Bush. It's more on how foreigners see us and I take no offence towards this Australian's rant on how dumb Americans can be. If you were that dumb enough to vote for Bush, you deserve the hell you are going through. It really pisses me off to see people driving around with their Jesus stickers and a bumper sticker supporting him.

First of all, I love foreigners. When I was a kid, I learned a bit about how Pakistani kids celebrated their birthdays as I attended Shahin's when I was little. It was my first time at seeing customs while my private Catholic school pushed their stupid religious psychotic shit down my throat. As a kid, I thought it too odd to join in as a result of all that but I did enjoy seeing my friend, Shahin, have fun.

What I was trying to say is that we as Americans are required to respect customs in foreign lands that we visit. One of my friend's parents traveled to Italy and spent much of their free time studying the language, etc. That is some major respect and I loved seeing this as I knew I'd get a little learning done when this couple returned. Plus, I love pictures of foreign places. Not that stuff you see in books but real 4x6's that make you feel like you are there.

However, I get pissed easily when I see foreigners come here only to be arrogant pissheads that think the world is all about them. You must learn English. How else would you talk to people, do commerce, or even get help? Respect the fact that body odor is a major issue. In my gym, you will sweat like mad on Summer days. I sure as hell don't want to smell you 2 rooms away or see your gigantic sweat puddles on equipment. Know our laws. Driver's licenses need to have your picture, not you in a burrkha (or "beekeeper's outfit").

It just weirds me out because there is no way you can avoid foreigners. They're all over so my temper is on edge when dealing with those that have a high amount of arrogance. I've seen a lot of Greeks and Muslims with this attitude that no matter how easily it is to point out how wrong they are, they still think of themselves as being correct.

How would you ladies feel when dealing with Middle Eastern guys that think very little of you all because you are a woman? See what I mean? My mom has had to deal with a few that looked down at her majorly while teaching their kids.

You know who I like? I'm so fascinated with Italians because I've grown up around a few families with this nationality. The best way to describe things is to attend a major dinner and you will see. Italians take dinner so much differently in how it's not just dinner but a huge discussion on major issues. Whatever you do, don't sit at the head of the table or in the middle. You will be forced into passing most of the food while trying to get a word in. Plus, I love Italians for how big their families are. It makes me jealous on Holidays seeing all those cars.

I could go on about rants I have in our English language in regards to the plague called "Ebonics" but won't. That's a domestic problem.

So, can I say that Stephen Colbert is my hero? Let's see............I've got Anderson Cooper (I spelled it right! High-five me, Sammy!), Bill Maher (the god among gods), and, of course, Jon Stewart (too smart for Oscars). What happened was at the White House Correspondents' dinner. Stephen Colbert totally roasted Bush in front of him. Bush looked angry during each moment of bashing that had me shocked. That took some balls for ol' Bushy boy to see what a lot of us think of him since he's known not to read criticism of his handling the world's affairs (give the world to the corporate folks).

How many think Stephen Colbert goes missing soon?

Man, I don't know. Stephen did an amazing job. The camera panned around to show the looks on people's faces as they wondered whether they could laugh. Bush, again, was furious looking and in need of the bottle of Jack possibly hiding underneath the table. People paying over $5,000 a plate deserved a little comedy, no?

Guilty pleasures, we all need 'em. I've got my love of the Dirty Dancing soundtrack that people love to pick on me about. I watched a bit of Rock Star (Mark Wahlberg in a metal band-good stuff, I swear!) while on the treadmill and still love it. Now, I see they are giving a super-dee-dooper DVD special edition to Road House. Oh, Dalton, you do your tai-chi topless like a badass and I don't feal awful enough to have to hide my DVD where you clean up that corrupt town single handedly. You can learn a lot from the dialogue in Road House:

"What do I do if someone calls my mama whore?"

"Is she?"

Of course, the all time is:

"Pain don't hurt."

As I mentioned above, I ran. Ran like hell again and felt good. My undies weren't like yesterdays, all drenched. It could be how so much of my attention was on the TV in front of me since Rock Star was on. 15 minutes of watching a guy live out his fantasy in being lead singer of an 80's hair-metal band helps take my mind off of how much I was huffing and puffing.

I swear that a run will get all those endorphins spinning in your head to the point that you feel so high, a positive high. My only problem is that I do tend to come close to falling off. Gay Nick and various others have as I've seen the injuries.

Since when has Wal-Mart stopped developing digital cameras? Now, I have to get my pics done somewhere else after that long drive south. Wal-Mart did them before so I'm curious as to why.

I've got to go as I've many things to take care of. Possible things to discuss in a short while: Indiana, blowjobs, my love of Mrs. Henderson Presents and the evolution of how we see men that like show tunes. I've been reading about HBO's Deadwood so it's no wonder I feel inspired to explore the topic of blowjobs again. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07