-My fortune cookie for today

How about a point in time that you stop thinking about the latest fights in the world, gas prices, immigration reform, GOP scandals, and look at the nice little bumblebee hard at work?

That's what I did after another night in the gym, coming home a bit sweaty but cooled down enough to be labeled "socially acceptable." I sat there and watched a small bumblebee working on the green strip of astroturf since it's most likely building a home somewhere. Even my dog, Jethro, stopped to take a look more closely but the loud buzzing warned him to back off. I love bees so it stung inside when I had to kill that nest last year on top of this house. One by one the bumblebees would wake up and Hedgie smash with hammer.

FYI: The bumblebees were causing a lot of turmoil with my dogs by buzzing all around and getting too close. Their numbers were in the 20's so that's a lot of bumblebees each day that I had to deal with.

What is it with Osco? I walk in there and find that everyone is either 60 years of age or older. When has Osco become the place gone to the type that get lost in aisles or insist on prunes? I always thought that Walgreens was the hip and happenin' place for our senior citizens but only see people my age. Need birth control at 3am? Walgreens, baby, Walgreens.

Of course, today is the day that Boondock Saints special DVD edition came out, one of the finer points on how to fire a gun. You will learn what "shitty shooting" is and why not to have a loaded gun on the table when your girlfriend's cat is nearby. I know, I know. I cannot handle animal deaths but that cat ending up on the wall is one of the funniest things I've ever seen and, yes, I cried laughing with Sara.

This Boondock Saints special 2-disc edition's packaging is nice but that's it, just 2 discs. Man, I'd like it more if they'd add a booklet that talks about the movie more or add some history for this unique cult classic. Sara is thanked daily for forcing me to witness this movie that I for some strange reason never heard of being so great.

Speaking of movies, I finally got to pick up my guts and watch Anatomy Of Hell. Now, I know the director's use of shock since, yes, I just had to see her first film, Romance. It was okay but the movie was billed as being one of the first mainstream films to show an erect penis being sucked. I've seen porn, nothing new, but nice touch.

But movies do get a little bit to you even if the director seems to only use shock tactics. Romance brought about a small form of bondage in which the woman, desperate for new sexual delights or just plain crazy, tries bondage. Even if I haven't seen this flick in ages, certain scenes still play in my head.

And so Anatomy Of Hell comes into play. I had heard so many reviews of how disgusting it is or how perverted it was in shock tactics. John Waters even thought the movie was crazy. What will you get in Anatomy Of Hell?

-A used tampon being taken out, put in a glass of water, and then drunk by both the male (the supposedly gay watcher) and the female.

-Rocco Siffredi's penis covered in real blood from having sex with the woman during her period. This guy is a major porn star famous for holding women's heads in the toilet while fucking them so nothing's new here.

-Rocco drawing, with lipstick, all around the woman's pussy and asshole after the woman had taunted him that male homosexuality is all about how a woman's body is too tainted for them.

-Little boys insisting on a little girl to pull down her pants and she does.

-A baby bird is stepped on after being taken out of the nest by a little boy.

Shock is nothing new. John Waters had the famous scene in the movie, Desperate Living, where a drag queen ate real dog shit on camera. If you have never heard about this, you don't follow what's going on in the films being made.

No, I'm not that fond of Anatomy Of Hell (that baby bird scene really had me angry since I cannot stand to see any animal hurt or killed) but I did find the debate between the unknown woman telling the supposedly homosexual male she pays to have "watch her when she is unwatchable" amusing. To think that they don't want to have sex with women due to the feeling that the pussy is dirty or that menstrual blood is too tainted for a male to slide his dick into the vagina runs along the Muslim belief. It all drones a bit on assholes being a better place.

Hmmmmm........I've always thought that homosexual men wanted men all because that's what their psyche became attracted to. There is no way to deprogram but people become attracted to those of the same sex in the same way I am attracted to the opposite sex. No thinking. Just what I want and not a product of my environment. Assholes are just assholes and not something that drives a homosexual male for more fulfillment since pussy is dirty.

It's always a weird world. You can debate about anything these days when all I say is that some things just take place. I don't think show tunes have anything to do with homosexuality because guess what. I like them. Okay, bad joke but it's true.

However, I do think I have a curse thanks to the vagina. I've talked about how much I love it but there is one thing that bothers me. I may admire it too much. Many guys I know talk of just wanting to stick their dicks in and cum like mad while I want to spend time playing with it or admiring the design. It's weird how I find enjoyment at seeing Sara get that smirk on her face as my face descends downward because she knows I aint coming back up for some time.

I've spent a lot of quality time with all my girlfriends' pussies. Their looks, smells, and uniqueness in what I had to do to get them to thrash around are forever in my memory while not just a place to stick my cock in or various objects. Why can't I be a real man, huh?

Sex is weird in that a lot of it depends on a person's head. My sex drive has been completely wonkers again. Many times, it's been down but why? It's just about Summer and I should be happy that I'm not shivering after another shower with Sara or needing 4 layers of covers.

It's gotten to the point that I wonder if I even create enough testosterone. I'd love to fuck like a bunny again. With Kristan, it was 12 times a day. Now, I'm happy if it's just a couple times. Not cool. I want the drive and craziness back even if I do end up with the occasional bite mark or claws down my back. The pussy is a great place to keep celery sticks for those that host parties where Christians fear to go.

Depression sucks. I hate feeling like I have too many feminine characteristics (even Sara says I was supposed to be a girl). My mind is all over the fucking place. Allergies have me clogged up or wishing I could just get a new eyeball. I feel like I leave all my aggression in the gym so my time outside of it is totally relaxed.

So, life? It's just another complicated mess of things that I tend to overanalyze since the people in charge keep telling us that sex is only for procreation and after marriage all while corrupting things. Never believe the religious for they are the most evil and foul things ever created as they try to force their beliefs on us. I don't know about you but living in sin is fun.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07